Should I try shrooms?
I’m thinking about trying mushrooms to help me work through some emotional blocks I’ve been carrying around for several years and that really weigh on me.
The problem is that I’m really afraid of having a bad trip, for several reasons.
I’m already a bit traumatized by the idea of taking substances in general, because a family member took a substance last year (an RC stimulant) that left him completely anhedonic and led him to take his own life.
I’ve also read a lot of trip reports from people who’ve taken mushrooms, and some of them really scared me. As I was doing my research, I read that some people completely lost control of themselves, experienced psychosis, or even tried to harm themselves or commit suicide.
What scares me the most personally is the idea of hurting myself. First of all, because I don’t have a trip sitter if I decide to take them. And also because I’ve been prone to suicidal thoughts many times in the past, which isn’t as much of an issue now, but the thought still crosses my mind sometimes. Plus, the problems I’ve been dealing with for a long time make me feel hopeless, and I feel a huge sense of guilt toward many people, so I’m afraid this will lead to a buildup of negative emotions during the trip that could cause me to behave dangerously toward myself.
Not to mention all that, I’m a pretty anxious person by nature, and I have a history of OCD, so that doesn’t help matters and worries me about what might go through my head during the trip.
In short, I’m in a real dilemma… On the one hand, I’d like to take mushrooms because I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, and I think it might help give my life a new lease on life. But on the other hand, I’m afraid it might just make things worse because I’m not in a calm enough state of mind to take them.
For those of you who are experienced with mushrooms and psychedelics in general: do you think it’s reasonable for me to take them in my situation?
And is there any way to minimize the risk of having a bad trip? I’ve heard people say they mix mushrooms with other psychoactive substances (MDMA, harmala, cacao) to reduce anxiety during their trips. But I don’t know if these combinations are as therapeutic as taking mushrooms on their own.
Anyway, thanks in advance for your answers.