10+ months but no internal changes sensed ever. 🤷🏼♀️
So I found TRE earlier this year. I do 2-3 session for 15-20 min a week most weeks (I did miss a dozen since starting maybe combined) for the last 10+ months. I get plenty of lower body tremors. It never goes above my hips. They go until I stop them generally. Various intensities and small to large movements patters too. Mechanically I see it’s “working” but emotional cognitive or internally I feel and function exactly the same as I always have. I don’t sense any changes otherwise.
Others speak of these emotional release or less body tension or “healing” this or that and I just don’t sense anything like that.
Some things I’m working or hoping it helps is my overthinking hypervigilant mind due to possibly a lack of internal safety from childhood parental divorces? Like I’m very “mature” for my age type A controlling perfectionist and so on which I’ve read can be survival mode or functional freeze. I don’t “feel” emotions in my body. I think them. I intellectualize everything including emotions. My mental chatter is always with me optimizing analyzing performing protecting planning and intellectualizing and so on. Why does this matter to me? Well I am 43f and have never developed sexually. Never had an orgasm and only ever “felt” arousal once in my body at age 30 when rocking my 1 year old to sleep. So in my journey and research it appears my survival mode sympathetic dominant nervous system state might be blocking capacity and access to parasympathetic which is the only way to get arousal. I’m always serious. Never playful and only time I can access imagination is in deep hypnosis.
Anyway nothing has changed for me so far. I still have my bodyguard on duty at all times and I’m still in go go go mode with the full plate of life and if I drop a ball the ship sinks survival thinking— which is true though cause I’ve tried to remove things off my plate and the kids suffered for it. The ship started sinking. So I had to pick the baton back up. I’m worried I will burn out though as I’ve been this way for 35+ years now. I’m loosing joy or pleasure in life in other places. I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. My favorite part of my day is bedtime. When the house is quiet and the lights are off but I have insomnia where my mind keeps me up thinking with mental chatter. Even during intimacy with my husband random intrusive thought will show up. It never stops. I can control it sure but another intrusive thought it right behind the one I just kicked out.
Anyway just wondering how to know if this is the right path for me or not. Somatically and nervous system regulation type stuff if what I’ve been told to work on and I read about TRE being one that bypasses the mind. That’s what I need cause my brain is busy and overthinks everything and turns all therapy into homework automatically and how to optimize it. 🤷🏼♀️