u/IndependentMelodic77

recently i met this guy 2 months ago on social media. 1st month he was just helping me with my yard, 2nd month we started going on dinner dates, coffee and bar dates. i got drunk last night, ended up staying at his place bc im an hour drive away. i had maybe 2 drinks and i saw him have 2 as well but i got to the bar way after him. as soon as i got into his bed he grabbed me, kissing aggressively, and took both of our clothes off in less than a minute. ive liked kissing him before but this was so bad, just aggressively kissing and pressing on my face hard. he tried to go down on me, i stopped him. he tries to put his dick in. it was all really fast so i grabbed him and said “i just want to go to sleep”. he said “do you really want to”. he stopped at first but was still kissing me. maybe took a break then started again with trying to have sex. i said hey i dont have sex without head (which is true but idk why i said that) so then he tried to give me head again so then i was like no i smell like it was a hot day. and he said he doesnt care and i said no i dont want to i smell a few times and he said “stop” and just went down. hes kind of heavy and i couldnt push him off that time. i admit that i enjoyed it, but i didnt really want it because again, he was acting aggressively drunk and we havent had sex before, i like to get std results before that happens but we havent really talked about sex yet. when he was done i turned over and he asked if i was sleepy now and said he can’t get mad. he left me alone after that until a bit later he started fingering me which, you know it felt good but. idk. is this not kind of messed up? i know now i should’ve just called a friend and left, but i was so tired and just slept in his bed. im a sexual person but his bed wasn’t even made (bare mattress) and emotionally i was not turned on. i told my male friend and he said if he was drunk he probably just misread the situation, he did stop and didnt put his dick in and i should just talk to him. but shouldnt he have apologized for getting too drunk on his own by now? in the morning he made a joke about “that’s not what u said last night” so i know he remembers. and also asked if i was mad bc i was dazing off and nor saying anything. i like him, i met his friends, the dates have been fun. i like that he waited at least a good month to even invite me over. i feel like its valid he was drunk, but its not like i got him drunk and if he was sober that behavior was inexcusable. hes only sent me 2 texts since then this was 2 nights ago.

do you think 3 months is pushing it? 2 months? dating around, people in your city know eachother and i want to make sure i get to know them before i disclose and they might tell people.😅 im also just not allowing myself to sleep with anyone im dating before a minimum of 1-2 months for emotional reasons (tired of hookup culture). i start to feel guilty as sometimes we’re seeing eachother pretty frequently or they might be spending a lot of money on me. or im meeting their friends! then at that point, they might invite me over, or we might get drunk, and it feels like i can’t do this while dating anymore because then that’s where they might bring up sex when im not ready to disclose yet you know? they say you should disclose before sexual contact, but what about just making out a lot and stuff? i was diagnosed 2 years ago so im still getting used to this.