u/Individual_Play_5929

Marked NSFW as it could be triggering for some people. It’s a goodbye to a loved one who has passed away.

You are going to be dearly missed by so many. You were so loved and cherished, I don’t think you realise how many peoples lives you have touch.
You will forever be free from pain and worry now. We love you so much and wherever you are going please try not to cause too much mischief 🤪.

P.S
It’s not been long but I miss you already ❤️

His light is fading, will he last another day?
And what am I suppose to say, when they all ask if I’m okay?

He wasn’t there when growing up,
He made it clear only to fill his cup,
What could have been we will never know,
So hold on tight and enjoy the show,

For sorrowed hearts and withered ways,
There’s always a story to pass the days,
Days of old and days of new,
But tomorrow draws closer to,

I cannot stand it,
They shone so bright,
I hope he lasts another night,
We will see tomorrow,
It’s time to sleep now,
Lay upon your beds,
Rest your heads,
Forget the withered threads….. For now.

R.M

His light is fading, will he last another day?
And what am I suppose to say, when they all ask if I’m okay?

He wasn’t there when growing up,
He made it clear only to fill his cup,
What could have been we will never know,
So hold on tight and enjoy the show,

For sorrowed hearts and withered ways,
There’s always a story to pass the days,
Days of old and days of new,
But tomorrow draws closer to,

I cannot stand it,
They shone so bright,
I hope he lasts another night,
We will see tomorrow,
It’s time to sleep now,
Lay upon your beds,
Rest your heads,
Forget the withered threads….. For now.

R.M

His light is fading, will he last another day?
And what am I suppose to say, when they all ask if I’m okay?

He wasn’t there when growing up,
He made it clear only to fill his cup,
What could have been we will never know,
So hold on tight and enjoy the show,

For sorrowed hearts and withered ways,
There’s always a story to pass the days,
Days of old and days of new,
But tomorrow draws closer to,

I cannot stand it,
They shone so bright,
I hope he lasts another night,
We will see tomorrow,
It’s time to sleep now,
Lay upon your beds,
Rest your heads,
Forget the withered threads….. For now…

R.M

His light is fading, will he last another day?
And what am I suppose to say, when they all ask if I’m okay?

He wasn’t there when growing up,
He made it clear only to fill his cup,
What could have been we will never know,
So hold on tight and enjoy the show,

For sorrowed hearts and withered ways,
There’s always a story to pass the days,
Days of old and days of new,
But tomorrow draws closer to,

I cannot stand it,
They shone so bright,
I hope he lasts another night,
We will see tomorrow,
It’s time to sleep now,
Lay upon your beds,
Rest your heads,
Forget the withered threads….. For now.

R.M

Hi, I was in a 3 month situationship. I don’t want to post about the relationship itself although it did leave me in state a confusion.
I’d like to get to know the psychology behind it. When we met it felt like I already knew him, like he was apart of me. I know that the brain picks up a lot and the feeling comes from subtle things said and done. I felt safe and secure and he felt like home but I’ve come to realise he manipulated me. So I’d like to discuss how someone can make themselves feel like home but also not be a good person? Sorry I don’t think I’ve worded that quite right. I’m internally fighting with myself over the 2 sides of him. The calm, attentive, affectionate side and the manipulative side. I’d like to look at it from a more logical/psychological side if I’m aloud to please?
Thank you.

P.s the manipulative side - talked about buying a tv and when I finally agreed he said it was to soon for that even though that’s what I said when he mentioned it the first time he brought it up.
Whenever something bothered me he would say “you are talking to me know” referencing my past which made me shut down more. (Thought it was sweet to start with 🤦‍♀️😬)
Said he used to be a people pleaser ‘like me’ and that I should be more like him.
This is just a few things so you can see what I mean.

Uuurrrrrrrgggghhhhh why is everything so difficult right now.

You are gone,
He is dying,
My health feels fucked, I’ve lost so much weight I feel like shit and now look how I feel.
And still all I can think of is a hug from you would solve it all even for just a moment. But nooooooo fml, you never could just be honest, you had to drag shit out, make me believe you were a truly great person, that it was safe to open up and be with you, mahal kita, just to end it. Why do that to someone? I’m starting to think you were a master manipulator, a narcissist but truthfully you are a coward. I was doing so good moving on, moving forward, why the fuck has everything hit me like a tonne of bricks again!

Uuuuuurrrrrggggghhhh 😤🥺🖕

When we first started speaking I laid all my cards on the table face up.
I don’t play games, I know how to but I haven’t got time for them.

You played though,
You laid your cards out,
Seemingly face up,
I have come to realise they are double sided,

I see that now,
I see it clearly,
So thank you 😊

Thank you for teaching me these new games,
Thank you for showing me new tactics,
Thank you for leaving,
Thank you for the confusion,
Thank you for stringing me along,
Thank you for saying “I won’t ask you to wait for me”,
Thank you for saying “I’m here if you need me”,
Thank you for always questioning the meaning of my words to add another layer of confusion,
Thank you for bringing up my past just to avoid your accountability,
Thank you for helping me to close old chapters,
Thank you for the heartbreak and physical pain you left me in,
Thank you for the lies,
Thank you for never holding yourself accountable,
Thank you for the manipulation,
Thank you for not messaging back the last time we spoke,
And thank you sooooo much for apologising for the way ‘I feel’, it cemented everything into place.
You should thank yourself to for saving me from you.

I’ve never seen this game played so well, hidden in plain sight.
You are very good at it, a true wolf in sheep’s clothing.
The job you do who would suspect you?
So kind, so caring, so attentive, seemingly so.

I’ve now taken your teachings and made them mine 😁
I can rebuild now with these lessons learned, add the new phrases to the rules of discard,
Know that I will never reach out again, your false pretences have been found.

It’s funny though, you really had me going there for a while, believing you were a good guy by following through on certain things but not others, by trying to seem attentive and by helping me with my health 🤷‍♀️ so was it all a game to you?
but then again you did tell me at the start you are a ‘bad boy’ or were one 😂.
I can’t help but laugh, like who the f\\\*\\\*\\\* are you really? Do you even know who you are? 🤣 fml
You never could be straight forward 🤣

It’s okay though I’ve let go, I’m not holding onto hope anymore, be free and be a better person ffs.

Again thank you so much for this lesson that I am taking forward in life. I’m still the kind, loving me, just a lot more ruthless 😉🖕😘

When we first started speaking I laid all my cards on the table face up.
I don’t play games, I know how to but I haven’t got time for them.

You played though,
You laid your cards out,
Seemingly face up,
I have come to realise they are double sided,

I see that now,
I see it clearly,
So thank you 😊

Thank you for teaching me these new games,
Thank you for showing me new tactics,
Thank you for leaving,
Thank you for the confusion,
Thank you for stringing me along,
Thank you for saying “I won’t ask you to wait for me”,
Thank you for saying “I’m here if you need me”,
Thank you for always questioning the meaning of my words to add another layer of confusion,
Thank you for bringing up my past just to avoid your accountability,
Thank you for helping me to close old chapters,
Thank you for the heartbreak and physical pain you left me in,
Thank you for the lies,
Thank you for never holding yourself accountable,
Thank you for the manipulation,
Thank you for not messaging back the last time we spoke,
And thank you sooooo much for apologising for the way ‘I feel’, it cemented everything into place.
You should thank yourself to for saving me from you.

I’ve never seen this game played so well, hidden in plain sight.
You are very good at it, a true wolf in sheep’s clothing.
The job you do who would suspect you?
So kind, so caring, so attentive, seemingly so.

I’ve now taken your teachings and made them mine 😁
I can rebuild now with these lessons learned, add the new phrases to the rules of discard,
Know that I will never reach out again, your false pretences have been found.

It’s funny though, you really had me going there for a while, believing you were a good guy by following through on certain things but not others, by trying to seem attentive and by helping me with my health 🤷‍♀️ so was it all a game to you?
but then again you did tell me at the start you are a ‘bad boy’ or were one 😂.
I can’t help but laugh, like who the f*** are you really? Do you even know who you are? 🤣 fml
You never could be straight forward 🤣

It’s okay though I’ve let go, I’m not holding onto hope anymore, be free and be a better person ffs.

Again thank you so much for this lesson that I am taking forward in life. I’m still the kind, loving me, just a lot more roofless 😉🖕😘

Do Not Pull On My Tether!! 🤨 How Rude To Hover!

Was that you pulling on the tether…….. or am I actually going insane. It literally felt like you were right there with me, stood with me. So F****** weird………

For context I think I dissociate when I get angry. It feels like the world is spinning around me for a moment, dreamy feeling, my memory is absolutely crappy in those moments and I physically have to fight my mind to stay in the moment and not wander. I do have ADHD and my temper can flair fast, I’ve always been good at calming myself down but it gets to a point where I think I just start dissociating instead, like I just can’t keep fighting and my brain just wants to switch off.
I do have past trauma that I have dealt/dealing with and a lot of it is to do with being able to speak up. In those moments when I’m angry or stuff doesn’t make sense in a relationship (red flags) or trying to hold my boundaries I get the same feeling, the dizzy kinda feeling and having to fight my own brain.

Has anyone else had this or similar and how do you deal with it in the moment? Mine is more so when being in a relationship or trying to date that it happens, the more I try to fight it the worse it gets and I end up just having to move on without ever facing what had bothered me.

Sorry I didn’t realise I was going to write quite so much 😅, thank you if you’ve made it to the end ❤️

I’ve had it since I was young and just wondered if it was to do with dissociating.