u/Indominus_H6

Need help 19M, Did I mess my LDR 19F?

Me (19M) and my girlfriend recently broke up (LDR) and I genuinely need outside perspective because I’m overthinking everything badly.

We met on Discord around a year ago. Initially we had misunderstandings and she blocked me once, but months later we started talking again around Christmas and got extremely attached very fast. We used to talk/call for hours daily till late night. She slowly hinted towards a relationship but also said she had toxic past relationships and didn’t want to rush things.

Things were good for around 3 months. But she was also preparing for an important exam and had stress/problems in her room/with roommates. Around April, she suddenly told she needed some alone time and asked me not to message for a few days.

I panicked badly because I was scared of losing her. I called/texted multiple times, contacted one of her friends, and my sister also got involved and said some harsh things to her while trying to defend me. That made her feel blamed and overwhelmed.

After that, she became distant and repeatedly asked for alone time. Later she unfriended/unfollowed me, which made me panic even more. Then I bursted, asking her to undo things and then too she said 'Give me some time' and I accepted it. And then started trying to fix things by sending emotional messages, voice notes, drawings, edits, songs, etc. She also sent voice notes saying she wanted to end things and needed space. I also called her after being blocked because I didn’t know blocked calls still show up in logs.

Earlier during all this, she had also said things like:

“right person wrong time”

“thanks for the care”

“you deserve more”

“you’re making things hard for both of us”

But eventually after that blocked calls, and my sister's behavior again, she got very angry and started saying things like:

“Leave me alone”

“Don’t ever call me”

“Don’t try to control me”

“Get the fuck out of my life”

“I don’t want to stay with you”

“I feel numb and I don’t feel anything in this anymore”

She called me disgusting/psychopath during the same argument.

So now I honestly don’t know:

- whether she completely lost feelings,

or whether she got emotionally overwhelmed because I didn’t respect her need for space after the breakup started.

I know I handled things badly after the breakup and became too emotionally reactive instead of giving space. I’ve stopped contacting her now.

I just want honest opinions:

TLDR

-Is this beyond repair?

-Did my post-breakup behavior permanently ruin things?

-Or do people sometimes calm down after emotionally intense breakups like this?

Please help, this is my first time in a relationship. I messed up things maybe due to my inexperience and loneliness (for past 2 years). I really love her, she helped me get out of that loneliness hell. 

Sorry I used Gpt to make my post simple and better understandable.

​

Me (19M) and my girlfriend recently broke up (LDR) and I genuinely need outside perspective because I’m overthinking everything badly.

We met on Discord around a year ago. Initially we had misunderstandings and she blocked me once, but months later we started talking again around Christmas and got extremely attached very fast. We used to talk/call for hours daily till late night. She slowly hinted towards a relationship but also said she had toxic past relationships and didn’t want to rush things.

Things were good for around 3 months. But she was also preparing for an important exam and had stress/problems in her room/with roommates. Around April, she suddenly told she needed some alone time and asked me not to message for a few days.

I panicked badly because I was scared of losing her. I called/texted multiple times, contacted one of her friends, and my sister also got involved and said some harsh things to her while trying to defend me. That made her feel blamed and overwhelmed.

After that, she became distant and repeatedly asked for alone time. Later she unfriended/unfollowed me, which made me panic even more. Then I bursted, asking her to undo things and then too she said 'Give me some time' and I accepted it. And then started trying to fix things by sending emotional messages, voice notes, drawings, edits, songs, etc. She also sent voice notes saying she wanted to end things and needed space. I also called her after being blocked because I didn’t know blocked calls still show up in logs.

Earlier during all this, she had also said things like:

“right person wrong time”

“thanks for the care”

“you deserve more”

“you’re making things hard for both of us”

But eventually after that blocked calls, and my sister's behavior again, she got very angry and started saying things like:

“Leave me alone”

“Don’t ever call me”

“Don’t try to control me”

“Get the fuck out of my life”

“I don’t want to stay with you”

“I feel numb and I don’t feel anything in this anymore”

She called me disgusting/psychopath during the same argument.

So now I honestly don’t know:

whether she completely lost feelings,

or whether she got emotionally overwhelmed because I didn’t respect her need for space after the breakup started.

I know I handled things badly after the breakup and became too emotionally reactive instead of giving space. I’ve stopped contacting her now.

I just want honest opinions:

Is this beyond repair?

Did my post-breakup behavior permanently ruin things?

Or do people sometimes calm down after emotionally intense breakups like this?

Please help, this is my first time in a relationship. I messed up things maybe due to my inexperience and loneliness (for past 2 years). I really love her, she helped me get out of that loneliness hell. 

Sorry I used Gpt to make my post simple and better understandable.