u/IndorilNerovar

I’ve been talking to a woman for a while now. For a long time, the connection did not feel purely platonic to me. There was emotional closeness, pet names, good morning/goodnight type energy, flirty and sexual comments, talk about meeting, and talk about places she would take me that were special to her.

There were also older conversations where she talked about being excited to meet, seeing how we clicked in person, possibly going places together, and seeing how things could develop. From my side, it felt like there was mutual interest or at least some potential there. We had also recently talked about making plans to meet.

She recently got out of a long relationship, and I respect that. I am not asking her to date me or jump into anything serious.

The confusing part is that even after becoming single, she has still had moments of being flirty, emotionally close, and showing interest. But when I respond to that energy or bring up that it feels beyond friendship, she pulls back and frames it as platonic.

I sent her a message explaining that the connection has not always felt purely friendly to me, that the warmth, emotional closeness, sexual energy, and talk about meeting affected me, and that when more-than-friendly energy shows up and then gets pulled back, it puts me in a confusing middle place.

What bothered me is that she did not really acknowledge the main part of my message, which was that some of her words and energy have not felt purely friendly and that the push-pull has affected me. It felt like she defended her intent but did not really acknowledge the impact.

There is also a local guy connected to paintball who she seems to spend real-life time with. From what I know, she hates sports and physical activity type stuff, but she still got involved with this paintball situation and even offered to help. She was also out from around 9 to 5 with a friend, said she was in the middle of nowhere with bad signal, and said she was ignoring her phone.

I know that can be completely normal, and I know I do not have proof anything physical or romantic is happening. But the timing and pattern make me wonder if this guy has her current real-life attention while I am mostly the phone/emotional connection.

I’ve been talking to a woman for a while now. For a long time, the connection did not feel purely platonic to me. There was emotional closeness, pet names, good morning/goodnight type energy, flirty and sexual comments, talk about meeting, and talk about places she would take me that were special to her.

There were also older conversations where she talked about being excited to meet, seeing how we clicked in person, possibly going places together, and seeing how things could develop. From my side, it felt like there was mutual interest or at least some potential there. We had also recently talked about making plans to meet.

She recently got out of a long relationship, and I respect that. I am not asking her to date me or jump into anything serious.

The confusing part is that even after becoming single, she has still had moments of being flirty, emotionally close, and showing interest. But when I respond to that energy or bring up that it feels beyond friendship, she pulls back and frames it as platonic.

I sent her a message explaining that the connection has not always felt purely friendly to me, that the warmth, emotional closeness, sexual energy, and talk about meeting affected me, and that when more-than-friendly energy shows up and then gets pulled back, it puts me in a confusing middle place.

What bothered me is that she did not really acknowledge the main part of my message, which was that some of her words and energy have not felt purely friendly and that the push-pull has affected me. It felt like she defended her intent but did not really acknowledge the impact.

There is also a local guy connected to paintball who she seems to spend real-life time with. From what I know, she hates sports and physical activity type stuff, but she still got involved with this paintball situation and even offered to help. She was also out from around 9 to 5 with a friend, said she was in the middle of nowhere with bad signal, and said she was ignoring her phone.

I know that can be completely normal, and I know I do not have proof anything physical or romantic is happening. But the timing and pattern make me wonder if this guy has her current real-life attention while I am mostly the phone/emotional connection.

I’ve been talking to a woman for a while now. For a long time, the connection did not feel purely platonic to me. There was emotional closeness, pet names, good morning/goodnight type energy, flirty and sexual comments, talk about meeting, and talk about places she would take me that were special to her.

There were also older conversations where she talked about being excited to meet, seeing how we clicked in person, possibly going places together, and seeing how things could develop. From my side, it felt like there was mutual interest or at least some potential there. We had also recently talked about making plans to meet.

She recently got out of a long relationship, and I respect that. I am not asking her to date me or jump into anything serious.

The confusing part is that even after becoming single, she has still had moments of being flirty, emotionally close, and showing interest. But when I respond to that energy or bring up that it feels beyond friendship, she pulls back and frames it as platonic.

I sent her a message explaining that the connection has not always felt purely friendly to me, that the warmth, emotional closeness, sexual energy, and talk about meeting affected me, and that when more-than-friendly energy shows up and then gets pulled back, it puts me in a confusing middle place.

What bothered me is that she did not really acknowledge the main part of my message, which was that some of her words and energy have not felt purely friendly and that the push-pull has affected me. It felt like she defended her intent but did not really acknowledge the impact.

There is also a local guy connected to paintball who she seems to spend real-life time with. From what I know, she hates sports and physical activity type stuff, but she still got involved with this paintball situation and even offered to help. She was also out from around 9 to 5 with a friend, said she was in the middle of nowhere with bad signal, and said she was ignoring her phone.

I know that can be completely normal, and I know I do not have proof anything physical or romantic is happening. But the timing and pattern make me wonder if this guy has her current real-life attention while I am mostly the phone/emotional connection.

I’ve been talking to a woman for a while now. For a long time, the connection did not feel purely platonic to me. There was emotional closeness, pet names, good morning/goodnight type energy, flirty and sexual comments, talk about meeting, and talk about places she would take me that were special to her.

There were also older conversations where she talked about being excited to meet, seeing how we clicked in person, possibly going places together, and seeing how things could develop. From my side, it felt like there was mutual interest or at least some potential there. We had also recently talked about making plans to meet.

She recently got out of a long relationship, and I respect that. I am not asking her to date me or jump into anything serious.

The confusing part is that even after becoming single, she has still had moments of being flirty, emotionally close, and showing interest. But when I respond to that energy or bring up that it feels beyond friendship, she pulls back and frames it as platonic.

I sent her a message explaining that the connection has not always felt purely friendly to me, that the warmth, emotional closeness, sexual energy, and talk about meeting affected me, and that when more-than-friendly energy shows up and then gets pulled back, it puts me in a confusing middle place.

What bothered me is that she did not really acknowledge the main part of my message, which was that some of her words and energy have not felt purely friendly and that the push-pull has affected me. It felt like she defended her intent but did not really acknowledge the impact.

There is also a local guy connected to paintball who she seems to spend real-life time with. From what I know, she hates sports and physical activity type stuff, but she still got involved with this paintball situation and even offered to help. She was also out from around 9 to 5 with a friend, said she was in the middle of nowhere with bad signal, and said she was ignoring her phone.

I know that can be completely normal, and I know I do not have proof anything physical or romantic is happening. But the timing and pattern make me wonder if this guy has her current real-life attention while I am mostly the phone/emotional connection.

I need outside perspective because I feel too close to this situation.

I’ve been talking to a woman for a while For a long time, the connection did not feel like simple friendship to me. There was emotional closeness, pet names, good morning/goodnight type energy, sexual/flirty comments, talk about meeting, and talk about places she would take me that were special to her.

There were also older conversations where she talked about being excited to meet, seeing how we clicked in person, possibly going to places like the zoo or a restaurant, and seeing how things could develop. So from my side, it felt like there was at least some mutual interest or potential there, even if nothing official ever happened.

She recently got out of a long relationship(which was open) and has said she is not trying to build anything serious right now. I respect that. I am not asking her to date me or jump into anything serious.

The confusing part is that she recently clarified that she can’t offer more of herself, won’t offer more of herself, meeting would be just friendly, and what I saw as flirting, being serious, was platonic flirting from her side. So I understand what she is saying now, but it has been hard for me because the way we’ve talked has not always felt purely platonic.

Here is where the local guy comes in. There is a guy connected to paintball who she seems to spend real-life time with. From what I know, she hates sports and physical activity type stuff, but she still got involved with this paintball situation and even offered to help. She was also out from around 9 to 5 with a friend, said she was in the middle of nowhere with bad signal, and was ignoring her phone.

I know that can be completely normal, but the timing and pattern make me feel like this guy has her current real-life attention. It feels like I am mostly the phone connection while he may be the local, low-pressure, possibly rebound or casual attention.

I am not asking if I have proof they are hooking up. I know I do not. I am asking if I am overreacting for thinking the pattern points to him being more than just a random friend, or at least someone she is interested in to some degree.

The part that messes with me is that she says she is focused on herself and not building anything, but to me that does not necessarily rule out casual flirting, rebound energy, or physical attention with someone local. It just means she is not building something serious.