EGG?IRL
Ever since I've started considering the possibility that I may be a girl, I've been worrying that I may just be misinterpreting my feelings or saying things that a trans person would say because I want community or something like that. I keep identifying things that may be dysphoria, but I keep worrying that they may just be caused my basic desire to take care of myself, my anxieties, or my gender expression, disconnected from my gender identity. However, one of the things that has been causing me the most confusion is what gender even feels like.
I've always heard that even if they don't have the words for it, trans people always acutely know that there's a disconnect between their gender and AGAB. I keep hearing this poetic language of dysphoria feeling like x terrible thing or y terrible thing, and I'm worried by the fact that I (think I) haven't had any of these feelings.
Is the feeling of gender constant for you? Or do your brains periodically go without thinking about it? And when you're not thinking about it, do you misgender yourself?
Also, please don't suggest to me the possibility that I'm genderfliud, agender, non-binary, etc. I've already figured myself out as asexual, so I think I know what it's like to lack certain feelings or have them fluctuate. I don't think that's what's going on here, I do think my gender feels... binary.
So please help me. I want to be a girl, but I don't know if I actually mean it when I say it.
If you have any questions, I'll provide more information in the comments.