Walking away can feel healthy but sometimes I’m not sure if I’m just avoiding the things I need to face. How do I distinguish between setting a boundary that honors my wellbeing or just simply stepping back to escape discomfort that I’m not ready to sit with?
I’ve spent a lot of time believing that if two people genuinely love each other, they should be able to work through almost anything. But I’m starting to question that.
Sometimes two people can love each other and still hurt each other. You can have years together, a family, memories, attraction, and a genuine desire to make things work—and still somehow bring out unhealthy sides of each other.
The hardest part is when you don’t necessarily want to leave. You just want things to be different. You want both people to feel loved, wanted, respected, heard, and emotionally safe. You want to stop having the same arguments and reopening the same wounds.
I think I’m realizing there’s a difference between fighting for a relationship and just fighting inside one.
And I honestly don’t know where that line is anymore.
I just needed somewhere to say that.
I’m trying to understand my relationship with my mom from a psychological perspective, not to blame her or excuse her.
Growing up, she was physically present at times, but emotionally she often felt absent. I spent much of my life feeling unwanted, unseen, and like I was an inconvenience. As an adult, I still struggle with wondering whether she ever truly wanted me or was emotionally capable of being my mother.
I’ve noticed that these experiences seem to affect my adult relationships. I have a deep fear of being abandoned or replaced, I can become defensive when I feel criticized, and I’ve realized I’ve looked for validation in unhealthy ways. I’m working on taking responsibility for my own healing, but I also want to understand where these patterns may have started.
I’m trying to understand a few things:
Can a parent love their child but still be emotionally unavailable?
What causes a mother to seem emotionally disconnected from her child?
How does emotional neglect affect someone in adulthood?
Is it possible to heal from this while maintaining some form of relationship with your parent?
I’d appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar or from those with knowledge of psychology or family dynamics. My goal is understanding and healing, not assigning blame.
Is it common for the screaming phase to kick in before the age of two? My daughter just started screaming a couple days ago, started to do it over something small now does it all the time.