u/Interesting_Peace_16

To give you some background, I live in a very strict, traditional immigrant household. Even though I’m 20, have a job, and pay for my own things, my parents treat me like a child and use the "under my roof" card constantly. I usually avoid conflict and just obey because it’s easier.

Months ago, my boyfriend (M22) and I planned a 6-hour road trip to our old college town to see friends. I paid for the Airbnb. I asked my mom 3 days before, and she said yes. Then, the night before we were supposed to leave at 5:00 AM, she suddenly changed her mind and said no.

I called my boyfriend crying, ready to cancel. He heavily pushed me to go anyway. He told me, "The only way you'll ever gain freedom is by taking it," and said he didn't care what my parents thought of him. He gave me the courage to finally stand up to them for the first time in my life.

The next morning, I told my parents I was leaving. It was chaotic. They guilt-tripped me, and my dad chased me outside threatening to call the cops. I ran and got into my boyfriend's passenger seat. My parents were screaming at the car. I turned to my boyfriend and said, "Just drive."
Instead, he completely froze.

My dad tapped on his window, and my boyfriend actually got out of the car to talk to him, leaving his door wide open so my parents could keep yelling at me. I was begging him to just start the car and go, but he just stood there. I felt so betrayed and unprotected that I snapped, called him a coward, and got out of the car.

Instead of staying to help me or trying to fix it, he left for the trip without me.

Now, I am stuck back in the house I tried to escape. To make it worse, he texted me from the trip saying "our friends miss you," which felt like a massive slap in the face. I haven't spoken to him or my parents since.

Part of me feels my anger is 100% justified because he talked a big game about helping me get freedom, but folded the second things got uncomfortable. Another part of me feels guilty, wondering if I unfairly put him in an impossible situation with my intense family.

So... AITA for being angry and holding a grudge over this?

My boyfriend (M22) left for our trip without me after my parents confronted us, and I (F20) feel betrayed. Am I wrong for being angry?

Me (F20) and my boyfriend (M22) planned a weekend trip to visit friends in our old college town, about a 6-hour drive away. We both currently live back at home with our parents in our hometown while saving up to eventually move in together.

The issue is that I come from a very strict immigrant household. Even though I’m 20, have a job, and can afford a small trip like this myself, I still feel like I need permission to go anywhere. My parents always pull the “you live under my roof” argument. I think my mom also struggles with anxiety and empty nest syndrome because I’m the youngest child, and she still treats me like I’m a kid while my older siblings get treated much more like adults.

I asked my mom 3 days before the trip if I could go, and she said yes. Then the night before we were supposed to leave (at 5am), she suddenly changed her mind and said no. By that point I had already paid for an Airbnb and committed to the trip. I was extremely upset.

I’m not someone who usually stands up to my parents because growing up it always felt easier to just obey and avoid conflict. But this time I felt myself fighting the urge to give in. I called my boyfriend crying and asking for advice. He encouraged me to go and said the only way I’d ever gain freedom is by taking it. He told me he didn’t care what my parents thought of him and that he wanted what was best for me.

So I finally stood up to my parents for probably one of the first major times in my life. I told them I loved them, meant no disrespect, but that I was still leaving. They guilt-tripped me heavily. My dad chased me outside saying he’d call the cops, and I told him that legally there was nothing wrong because we’re both adults.

I got into my boyfriend’s car while my parents were yelling at me to get out. My dad walked up to the car, and I told my boyfriend “just drive.” But instead he froze. My dad tapped on his window, and my boyfriend got out to talk to him. He even left the car door open. I kept saying “what are you doing? let’s go,” but he just stood there while my parents continued yelling at me.

In that moment I felt completely abandoned. It took SO much courage for me to finally stand up for myself, and it felt like he backed down the second things got uncomfortable. I called him a coward before getting out of the car.

Now I’m home crying while he still went on the trip without me. He even texted me saying our friends miss me, which honestly just made me feel worse. I haven’t spoken to him or my parents since.

Part of me feels angry and betrayed because he was the one encouraging me to finally stand up for myself, but when the pressure actually happened he didn’t follow through. Another part of me feels guilty for expecting him to deal with my family issues in the first place. I know my parents are intense, and maybe I put him in an impossible position.

I just feel really alone and emotionally exhausted right now. My friends have been staying on the phone with me so I don’t completely spiral, but I keep replaying everything in my head.

Am I wrong for feeling angry at him? Is this something worth holding a grudge over, or am I unfairly projecting my family issues onto him?

F(20) Just got the copper IUD on Monday — sharp pain on my right side?

Hi everyone, I’m 20 and just got the copper IUD this past Monday, so it’s now Friday.

Overall, the insertion experience actually went pretty well. I took 800mg ibuprofen before the appointment, opted for a cervical block, and got it placed without any problems.

The first 2 days afterward were rough and I mostly rested. I took painkillers when needed, but the pain never became more intense than those first couple days.

On early Thursday (day 3), I had sex with my boyfriend. Overall it felt good, though there was one position that hurt a little too much so we stopped doing that one.

Later same Thursday night I started getting a sharp pain on my right side. It feels very similar to when I previously had an ovarian cyst on that same side. At the time I had the cyst, I went to the ER and they told me it would go away on its own.

It’s now early Friday morning (around 3am) and the pain is keeping me awake. I should also be around the time I’m ovulating, and I’ve heard ovulation pain can happen, but this doesn’t feel like normal cramping — it’s more of a sharp pain that comes and goes. I’m just scared that maybe it moved? But my strings feel fine.

Has anyone else experienced this after getting a copper IUD? Especially after sex or around ovulation?

Hey :) I'm 20f but I've been wanting to start an post-hardcore band open to any gender but would be awesome if any other girl would want to join but overall I thought l'd see if anyone here is interested. I'm based in SF but open to connecting with anyone nearby. I can play bass and guitar, and do vocals-more on the melodic side. It'd be really cool to have a second vocalist who can do harsher vocals to balance it out.

Looking for:

Vocalists (clean/scream)

Guitarists

Bassists

Drummers

Experience level doesn't have to be crazy, just passion and commitment.

If you're interested, comment or DM me with your IG

Inspo: lovehatehero, Amherist, downtown Singapore, April's Love Letter, Asteria, death in December, etc.

Hey :) I'm 20f but I've been wanting to start an post-hardcore band open to any gender but would be awesome if any other girl would want to join but overall I thought l'd see if anyone here is interested. I'm based in SF but open to connecting with anyone nearby. I can play bass and guitar, and do vocals-more on the melodic side. It'd be really cool to have a second vocalist who can do harsher vocals to balance it out.

Looking for:

Vocalists (clean/scream)

Guitarists

Bassists

Drummers

Experience level doesn't have to be crazy, just passion and commitment.

If you're interested, comment or DM me with your IG

Inspo: lovehatehero, Amherist, downtown Singapore, April's Love Letter, Asteria, death in December, etc.

Hey :) I’m 20f but I’ve been wanting to start an post-hardcore band open to any gender but would be awesome if any other girl would want to join but overall I thought I’d see if anyone here is interested. I’m based in SF but open to connecting with anyone nearby. I can play bass and guitar, and do vocals—more on the melodic side. It’d be really cool to have a second vocalist who can do harsher vocals to balance it out.

Looking for:

Vocalists (clean/scream)

Guitarists

Bassists

Drummers

Experience level doesn’t have to be crazy, just passion and commitment.

If you’re interested, comment or DM me with your IG

Inspo: lovehatehero, Amherist, downtown Singapore, April’s Love Letter, Asteria, death in December, etc.