AITA for continuing to throw out my grandpa’s spoiled food after seeing his retirement account
EDIT: I know it’s not about the money for him. Seeing the account made me realize that no amount will change that. I am wondering if I am making the right call since this really is how my grandpa wants to live his life.
I (25) live with my grandpa (92). I make good money, but moved in with him because he could use the company and I’m tired of hiding my 3 cats from landlords.
I do not pay rent. I’ve offered many times to pay rent or utilities, but he wasn’t having it. Eventually, I had to insist on paying for groceries just so I could contribute something.
The main point of contention is the fridge. Our family drops off meals for us occasionally so it’s hard to judge how much food I need to buy for the week. Sometimes things expire or go bad and I secretly get rid of them because otherwise he will just scrape off the mold and eat it anyway. My grandpa hates when we throw out food, even if it’s bad.
I say “secretly” because he goes through the trash. My grandpa wouldn’t eat it once it’s thrown out, but he would see that you threw it out and get mad. I’ve been tucking spoiled things in my downstairs trash toward the center, taking that bag and putting it in with the cat litter, then throwing the whole thing out.
My parents are split on the matter. My mom would (prior to me moving in) take the spoiled food to her house and throw it out there. My dad is of the opinion that my grandpa made it this far (92), and we need to just let him live his life, and if cutting mold off food is how he wants to live then he should be allowed to do that. I previously agreed with my mom, but now I am not so sure.
Our family all has the same financial advisory company. Today, I noticed an account statement addressed to my grandpa from them and I peaked. Yes I shouldn’t have looked.
There is SO much money in his account. It’s set to double this year from 5 years ago. There will be over $1 million by 2030. I’m so mad.
Who cares if we throw out $20 of produce each month! Yesterday, I expended more effort disposing of a moldy bell pepper so my grandpa wouldn’t eat it than I did hiding weed from my own mother.
There is no excuse for him to resort to eating spoiled food. He doesn’t have dementia, we don’t live in famine times, we don’t live in destitution, we don’t have to save the box of hamburger helper that expired in 2014.
I DO NOT CARE that he won’t spend his money. I care that he won’t let me spend my money or anyone’s money on him. He is well off, my parents are well off, I am well off. He doesn’t have to live like this!
Now I am having doubts about if I’ve been doing the right thing. It upsets my grandpa when I throw out food but now I’m realizing he really does want to live this way. He could have $25 million and he would still scrape mold off an avocado and eat it anyway.
Is my dad right? AITA for going behind his back and throwing out spoiled food?