u/InternationalArt9524

Help - i have all the rights to be angry. But I’m exhausted. I don’t want to be angry anymore. I feel so lonely. I’m just so exhausted. I just don’t want to be angry anymore. I don’t want to go 0-10 in a min when someone doesn’t pick my call.

I feel so fragile. Has anyone fixed their anger? I want to transform it into something meaningful. I want kids. I don’t want to be like my mom. I need help. I’m getting therapy, but talking hasn’t helped.

My story - I grew up in Asia with emotionally / physically abusive parents. Corporal punishment is not frowned at there. :( Angry mom and high expectations. Always being called angry when Id act out after her berating me as a 3 year old.

Fast forward - I became a high performing consultant, moved to US did therapy. Realized they passed down their own troubles but never accepted they did anything wrong. I gave up after 20 years of trying for them to do therapy.

Finally found my husband in early 30s. When I moved to EU for a short 2 year assignment. Kindest sweetest most loving person I ever met. We were happy. So happy. I reduced my connection to my family after they tried to sabotage my wedding. We needed nothing else.

4 years in - he was diagnosed of a rare cancer and he passed away an year after. He was misdiagnosed for a year. I hate his GP. There’s no suing in EU. Also doesn’t bring my husband back. Which is all I truly want.

I gave up my successful career to be in EU as he didn’t want to leave his mom alone. After he passed, his mother and brother found out that he named me as his heir in the will. So the best daughter in law is now being called names - and they stopped talking to me. Harassing me by posting on social media. I can’t believe these people.

My partner passed away (disease) and he made a will a year before he passed. We were married before that.

I relocated because his mother said she was too old and her other son had not lived in NL for over 2 decades. So I sacrificed a very good career as my husband said maybe you’ll like NL.

Fast forward- the moment he was diagnosed his mother started talking about money. Not his chances of survival or treatment. In 6 months she came for none of his treatments. She visited us every month or two before that for our entire marriage. His brother came months after diagnosis and he always wanted to know about money/business too. My husband did not really like it and he just told them he has made a will.

After he passed, my mother in law stopped talking to me. When the will was made public - his brother stopped checking in on me. 2 weeks after that - his mother came to yell at me. Not one kind word, in fact didn’t even ask for his ashes. She reached out to common friends lying about me. Truth is my husband knew who these people were. In the whole duration that he suffered from disease he never once could talk about his emotions with them. They asked entirety of our common friends / cousins to stop supporting me. My friends and family have stood by me but they don’t live here.

Question - I feel unsafe as my brother in law broke into the house once. I didn’t do anything as I was in brain fog then. It’s been some months and I want to be safe and protect our kids and home and finances. Is there a place I can document their behavior?

I lost my husband 9 months back. Rare cancer discovered too late. Actually misdiagnosed. He is the love of my life. We were so happy. We fell in love on our first date. After that our story was a romantic movie. But obviously things happened.

What suggestion would you give to someone like me? To rebuild a new community and family.

Background - I grew up in Asia and then moved to US to study. I studied and worked for 10 years building a great career in consulting. I moved to Europe for a small 2 year assignment. But I met my husband and then ended up giving up my great job in US for less than half the pay. At that time it was for his mother. His mother emotionally asked me to stay here.

After my husband passed, his mother and brother started to act horribly. Well really racist. The day his will was read his mother and brother stopped talking to me. Not only that they told entire family not to talk to me. Just extreme lies, there greed makes me wanna hurl. It hurts. They‘re no way poor or anything. They are doing well.

For last 9 months, I have tried to survive alone day in and day out.I am used to it. I grew up in a family that expected a lot from me. And I always did everything for everyone. But my sister abandoned me after my husband passed.

My single friends are all there and my neighbors have been supporting me. I’m doing therapy.

I am scared. I have no family in this country. I have grown so far from my old friends. I’ve been living out of my country for 2 decades now. I have not had kids yet and I’m closer to 40s in numbers.

I’ve tried quite a few different shakes and I dislike a lot of ingredients especially artificial sweeteners. I had been struggling with the chalky after taste. But no more.

This is my recipe. I add 30 grams of Mattisson organic vegan protein. It has only 6 ingredients. I add 5-7 grams of pure cacao powder from Puresana. Only because it has no additives. And 1 banana, usually around 100gms. It tastes awesome. Not super sweet. Feels more like I’m starting the day with a chocolate shake.

I am so happy and I really wanted to share. Because I had been struggling for the last 4 years. I hope someone else finds it useful too. FYI - we are in Europe and certain vegan shakes in US are not readily available here.

My husband is the love of my life and he passed 2 years into our marriage. He was misdiagnosed and he had stage 4 cancer.

We met in our 30s and we loved each other deeply. After his death, some people abandoned me. It was a traumatic experience.

Now, I’m 9 months into this hellish process. For the last week, I’ve been upbeat. I am doing things and I feel better for a lot of hours. I’ve terrible widows fire and I don’t really have a way to handle it. Idea of another man makes me guilty, doing anything is out of question.

I feel guilty all the time now. I wonder, did I love him? Is life so temporary? I am spiritual. And in my head, I keep thinking does any of this matter? How am I supposed to go on after this?

I just turned 40 and my husband - love of my life passed away last year.

Too much happened. Lot of people acted poorly and I all of a sudden feel all alone. I barely trust anyone. I am lonely.

And I am wondering, when is the right time to date. I don’t think I am ready, but I feel so lonely.