u/IsThisSawako

My grades r falling, I can't focus, my attention span is losing, I can't even find someone who cares abt me.

Im tired of my life. I was never supposed to make it this far but here i am, I'm tired of everything i'll never be free. I hope smtg bad happens to me, so my parents finally notice at how close to the edge i am.

There's this band i discovered almost a year ago, Cigarettes After Sex has gotta be one of the best, hell, it is. Their music makes me feel sm typa way i can't explain. It's so good. Beyond what words can describe, It makes me feel like a lover, admirer, Yet a yearner as well.

So my parents just went out to go for a long drive with my little cousins. I've got alone time finally, Not a big deal but this shit feels like literal heaven. No wonder im a loser fucking loner.

I've got a crush.

This comes from a 13F. I'm starting to get a crush on a boy from my class—he's 13 or 14, We don't talk alot since we sit two rows apart and our class has teachers all the time. I kinda like him. Among all the rowdy boys from my class. He's the online one who doesn't cuss, Doesn't disrespect teachers nor the girls from our class. And whenever i get home and ask him to send notes, He sends them in 5 seconds. Max. I get it—Being sweet and helpful doesn't mean they like you. But i'm seeking attention, Care, Affection, and validation for who i am. And for someone who grew up with just a drop of it— I fall in love when boys do the bare minimum.

Sometimes i also catch him staring at me (not creepily ig), But when i do catch him staring at me? He sometimes smiles shyly or looks away quick. He's genuinely so sweet, He came from a village too so he's new to our school ; like he literally speaks so gently it feels like a quite murmur. Ig he's a introvert too (like me).

This comes from a 13F. I'm starting to get a crush on a boy from my class—he's 13 or 14, We don't talk alot since we sit two rows apart and our class has teachers all the time. I kinda like him. Among all the rowdy boys from my class. He's the online one who doesn't cuss, Doesn't disrespect teachers nor the girls from our class. And whenever i get home and ask him to send notes, He sends them in 5 seconds. Max. I get it—Being sweet and helpful doesn't mean they like you. But i'm seeking attention, Care, Affection, and validation for who i am. And for someone who grew up with just a drop of it— I fall in love when boys do the bare minimum.

Sometimes i also catch him staring at me (not creepily ig), But when i do catch him staring at me? He sometimes smiles shyly or looks away quick. He's genuinely so sweet, He came from a village too so he's new to our school ; like he literally speaks so gently it feels like a quite murmur. Ig he's a introvert too (like me).

Indian parent mindset always bothers me. Ofc I've Indian parents who want a girl to be their stereotypical 'Soft' and Lady-like, Control her, Control what she wears. This applies to boys too, even though ima a girl, I just know they're told to grow up and not cry easily because 'Men/boys don't cry'. There is always alot for both, hell, any gender.

My household is sometimes my parents just yapping or arguing for minute things.

This comes from a 13 year old girl, I've been always trying to ignore this, But i feel like this is one of the reason i can't focus on my studies, academics or whatever u wanna call it. Even on my hobbies—My family issues, I get it, they aren't as huge as compared to what and how other humans suffer or have suffered worse. Recently, well, Not so recently, ever since 2 years, Ever since moving to my Dad's house, it's the same pattern, My Dad's elderly mom does something so fucking annoying and frustrating and instead of my mother ignoring it and just keeping calm, She gets triggered like sm sort of bull and after lecturing and ruining the mood, She yaps about how "I can't deal with this" "I'm not tolerating this" and the worse part is that, she knows my Dad's mom is genuinely a bih and rage baiting her, Then my dad comes home from work and hearing my mom complain this shit daily makes him mad too, and this turns into their argument quickly, YOU guys have no idea how grateful i am for having atleast no violence in this house, But i can't keep getting my mental health ruined for these immature people. I've my own problems too, But i can't express them, I just know my parents give a fuck at the end of the day, And because these arguments and earfuls EVERY. DAY, i AM FAILING IN MY STUDIES TOO, i genuinely have no idea what to do, I feel like i'm surviving each day instead of living it— ALSO, i am genuinely not allowed to even share my day with my only one friend i have at school, because my parents care more about other's opinions than making their minds fucking mature, I am not even allowed to go out alone even nearby because of creeps and criminals out there, I am not allowed to share my own thoughts or correct people of my family because their egos are too sensitive to deal with mature topics and suggestions. I won't say my parents don't care about me, they do, but they just don't get how ruined my mental health is, yes, they are decent, they care for my HEALTH— My needs, but they're too overprotective too. Tysm for reading my vent-out 🫤

This comes from a 13 year old girl, I've been always trying to ignore this, But i feel like this is one of the reason i can't focus on my studies, academics or whatever u wanna call it. Even on my hobbies—My family issues, I get it, they aren't as huge as compared to what and how other humans suffer or have suffered worse. Recently, well, Not so recently, ever since 2 years, Ever since moving to my Dad's house, it's the same pattern, My Dad's elderly mom does something so fucking annoying and frustrating and instead of my mother ignoring it and just keeping calm, She gets triggered like sm sort of bull and after lecturing and ruining the mood, She yaps about how "I can't deal with this" "I'm not tolerating this" and the worse part is that, she knows my Dad's mom is genuinely a bih and rage baiting her, Then my dad comes home from work and hearing my mom complain this shit daily makes him mad too, and this turns into their argument quickly, YOU guys have no idea how grateful i am for having atleast no violence in this house, But i can't keep getting my mental health ruined for these immature people. I've my own problems too, But i can't express them, I just know my parents give a fuck at the end of the day, And because these arguments and earfuls EVERY. DAY, i AM FAILING IN MY STUDIES TOO, i genuinely have no idea what to do, I feel like i'm surviving each day instead of living it— ALSO, i am genuinely not allowed to even share my day with my only one friend i have at school, because my parents care more about other's opinions than making their minds fucking mature, I am not even allowed to go out alone even nearby because of creeps and criminals out there, I am not allowed to share my own thoughts or correct peoples of my family because their egos are too sensitive to deal with mature topics and suggestions. I won't say my parents don't care about me, they do, but they just don't get how ruined my mental health is, yes, they are decent, they care for my HEALTH— My needs, but they're too overprotective too. Tysm for reading my vent-out 🫤

:(