u/Itoruna

I’m moving out of my mom’s house soon, and she doesn’t want me doing this and will cut me out of her life permanently. I know that once I leave, mom isn’t gonna want me on her phone/internet bill anymore. How do I get myself onto another plan, including the internet in the new apartment, before she cuts off everything?

I’m from Metro Atlanta and I’m interested in moving to Jacksonville, specifically looking around the Mandarin area. I have lived in Florida before, in late 2019 my dad moved the family to St Augustine only to die a year later during the pandemic. A year after that, my mom made me go back to Atlanta with her. What I was able to experience in that roughly 2 year window I really liked and I know for sure I like that area. I love Florida as a whole. Why Jacksonville instead of St Augustine? Well because it’s not as expensive, because this time on my own. My mom is hoarding dad’s money until she dies. I know a lot of people like to riff on Jax, but that’s more like just making fun of your hometown in a joking way or understandable criticism of something that needs improvement. I don’t have any connections in my hometown of Atlanta besides mom, and she’s gonna cut me out her life for abandoning, possibly forever. I’m really nervous and I want to know if I’m doing the right thing or if it’s just a waste of time and money (that I’ll have to spend on rent instead of living with mom).

EDIT: oh yeah, another thing, I found an apartment that looks perfect for me but here’s the catch… it’s near a hotel where my mom had a fight with her abusive ex before I was born. I feel like it would be cruel to her and possibly bad luck.

Today my (29f) mom (66f) told me not to go to barnes and noble 10 minutes from the house because it’s a downpour. I only get 2 days off a week (like most people) and yesterday was spent doing chores. She doesn’t even have to drive me, I’m taking Uber. (I don’t drive, too scared, also she won’t let me attend drivers ed because she thinks I don’t have an adequate attention span for driving which adds to my fear.) She’s afraid we’ll have an accident due to the rain and die horrifically. There’s a chance of a thunderstorm later on around 11 pm but I’ll be home by then, so I told her I’ll be back before it gets dark. When she saw me getting dressed she went from normal to screaming angrily in less than a second. She said “I know I’m going to lose you one day” in an attempt to guilt me into not leaving. She then accused me of buying drugs or trying to meet someone to presumably have sex with. I do occasionally do delta 8s but they’re legal where I live. She says if I do then she won’t drive me anywhere on my days off anymore. I know she’s probably bluffing but I don’t like it when she raises her voice at me.

AITA for deliberately disobeying my mother to go to Barnes and Noble in the rain?

EDIT: For anyone asking if I have a disability, no. I was neurotypical and completely normal until developing ocd at age 11 after a meningitis shot. It was misdiagnosed as aspergers because I was young and immature. I am allistic and can socialize normally despite some rough patches when I was younger. I am planning on getting the diagnosis removed.

EDIT 2: I’m an only child and my dad died in 2020. She is able bodied and functions normally but has chronic pain, depression and anxiety and I’m basically her mental and emotional caregiver. I’m inspired to strike out on my own and even have 2 potential apartments lined up (5 hours away since that’s where I want to move to) but I have to wonder if it’s really right thing because I don’t have family nearby to make sure she’s ok. What if she slips in the shower or falls down the stairs or drinks herself to death? Now I’m thinking like her. Do I get a social worker involved? If so, how would I do that? I’m worried about her too and need someone to make sure she’s ok when Im not present. She’s not abusive, she’s a good mom that has some issues and I don’t want anything bad to happen to her while I’m away.

I [29F] know I don’t really post about my personal life a whole lot, but here goes nothing. I’m not trying to be a whiny attention whore but I feel like this would likely be the best avenue to get an array of diverse opinions with the least amount of bias. You know how for YEARS now, I’ve been talking about how much I want to move back to Florida, but I’m too much of a coward to actually do it?

I’ve had my life on hold for like, 4 years now. But now I’m at a point where I have a stable career that pays better and is more secure, and can now afford apartments that are actually semi decent instead of section 8 shitholes. I mean, it seems stupid, to trade guaranteed safety and having my basic needs met for freedom. It’s the whole freedom vs safety debate. I love my mom, her and my stepdad are literally my only human family at this point. I don’t want to abandon them, especially since my mom can’t take care of herself emotionally. She can do all the basic stuff, but she is mentally and emotionally dependent on me being there.

I love my job and they’ve been super understanding overall and will help me relocate and everything, but the problem is that I can only work out of one state at a time, which I guess is understandable from a legal aspect, but how am I going to have time to go back to Atlanta to visit mom and go to my doctors? (I love them too much and don’t want to change) I feel like I’m stagnating here, but I’m so terrified of the unknown, and if I take that leap of faith I can never go home or see my family again. Why? Because my mom said if I move out, she will disown me for abandoning her. If she even survives that long. Again, she’s only 66 and fine physically but she could fall down the stairs or die in a car accident or drink herself to death if I’m not there. Hell, the stress of not having me around could possibly give her a heart attack. My stepdad lives 30 minutes away so he wouldn’t always be there either. Do I get a social worker involved? I apologize for subjecting you all to my neurotic, paranoid ramblings but I literally have nowhere else to turn.