u/JR_102123

I am at my wits end with bedtime for my almost 4 yr old.

I feel like I have tried every try ing under the sun to get her to go to sleep and it be a smooth and peaceful transition but no matter what I do it always ends with me screaming at her to go to bed and her throwing a tantrum that she does not want to go to sleep.

She will not go to sleep if my husband puts her sleep she will fight her sleep until I come to her side.

Ever since my now 9 month old was born she needs me to lay next to her in order to go to sleep. She use to put herself to sleep.

I am literally losing my mind I do not know what to do to change this dynamic. I have become so desperate on the nights I am just losing it I have given her a bit of melatonin because I just need to get some sleep.

Even now it’s 10pm she had a meltdown over bedtime and in same old fashion I had to force her into bed and yell at her to go to sleep.

I feel like an awful mother, like I am failing her and I don’t know what to do. I am becoming g so resentful of this dynamic. I dread bed time it seriously stresses me out.

Does anyone have ANYTHING that works for them I am desperate.

*posted this elsewhere and people recommended this Reddit group for support. I recently got married and I was worried my now sister in law would cause a scene. She is an alcoholic and has been suffering with alcoholism for about a decade. However I have only known her 4 years and I’ve never seen it be this bad.

She showed up late to the wedding and was drunk as a skunk. She had dirty hair pulled into a ponytail, wore a cheap sundress (our dress code was formal) with Nike dunks. My other sister law tried to kick her out but my husband asked her to stay he said later he didn’t realize she was so drunk.

She kept drinking through the ceremony and was all over the men she knew which they were uncomfortable with (they kept pushing her off of them and asking her to stop) and she also tried to make a speech during the toast to which I told her no flat out but she kept talking throughout the speeches. I have a 3 yr old daughter she kept trying to grab to which I also told her to back off. she then later in the night fell outside of the venue and busted her lip (blood everywhere) she even lay there and made no attempt to get up!. Her dad then took her home at that point. I had tried repeatedly to have someone take her home before then she was way too drunk to drive and too drunk for an Uber but no one wanted to kick her out!

I’m so pissed off at the scene she caused she has tried to call my husband to which he has ignored her calls and through the grapevine I heard she said that she doesn’t remember anything from that day which I think is a total cop out. * I know blackouts happen I see it as a cop out as she uses blackouts as an excuse for her behavior as if she’s not responsible since she wasn’t fully aware of what she was doing.

I guess I’m coming here for support on how to address this scenario because I am so angry and I have told my husband we need to cut her out of our lives. I do not want her around my children and we plan to baptize them in November and she is not welcome to the ceremony due to her behavior at the wedding.

My husband is not the type of man to argue with anyone. He is stoic and retreats when angry until he calms down and gets over it so that’s why I almost feel like it’s up to me to give her a piece of my mind because he won’t.

She has never admitted she has a problem and again I am so angry I do not want to see her and if she happens to call me I am still so mad I am going to go off on her. I’m so upset like how could not only do this to me but how could she do this to her brother? I have never seen her have an episode this bad so how the hell would she chose her brothers wedding if all days! He’s the only one who still has hope for her everyone has cut her off. I’m so embarrassed everyone from my family has reached out to see if she was ok and who she even was.