u/JackalOnLoose

I never liked anything; You knew that all too well. The countless times You left me whether at the kindergarten or the school- I cried but I never complained about it. Nor I ever told You how much one soft stroke of Your hand soothed me before You left everyday.

Dare I say the time rained hell upon me in Your absence? I always wondered why would You leave me in such a place where chaos and screams thrive-

You said just be nice and good and everyone will soon become your friend.

I tried Mother! I gave my best. I shared my things with my classmates. I even shared my lunch. But they broke my crayons that You brought me on my birthday. They ruined my notebooks. But I never did them wrong.

I just wanted to be friends with them. Why were they so bad on me? I dearly missed You those times. I waited desperately for the bell to ring and I wanted to run back to You all the time.

They're not good Mother! No one wants to be my friend...

Was this the first thing You used to hear while returning us back to home?

I am still in that place, still waiting for Your arrival...

So come back once again Ma! Hold my hand and take me with You.

Have you ever wondered about things around you and had a flash of insight that certain things don't seem to belong to be at certain places in certain times?

Well, this one is all about them.

I woke up.

In my dream.

It was the usual stuff. You know you wake up, leave the bed and step into the morning routines followed by official ones. But when you wake up in a dream- you teleport.

So I opened my eyes with an awareness of being in bed but when I turned to my right, I found myself standing on my backyard.

It was about noon as I looked at myself and noticed that I am in my school uniform with my backpack still on. I recalled that I just had my final exam today, key to one certificate before I bid goodbye to the high schools. That was fast indeed.

But it was strange too! I passed high schools seven years ago but I seem to lack that knowledge in my dreams. Besides logic don't work on dreams.

So the thing that raised my concern was a question;

Why am I still in my school uniform if I am home?

Before I could think any further, I saw my mother who was busy in gardening her flowers and fruit vines. She saw me and said,

"What are you doing here still? Go home, somebody is waiting for you in there."

Her voice sounded muffled and distant. Before I could ask who is waiting for me, I was inside the home.

There were two cops sitting on the couch in our guest room. As soon as they noticed my presence they stood up and stepped towards me. I froze. What they said next didn't made any sense. They said,

"Don't worry son! We are here to take your family for a brief relocation. You will have to come along with us."

I was half expecting them to burst into laughter but- they didn't. As soon as one finished saying that, another cop held my arm and pulled me towards the door. That moment- I panicked.

"But didn't you said family?" I asked. But they didn't answered. They overpowered me and dragged along. They didn't even looked back at me in reassurance. As one cop opened the door, they both disappeared.

I found myself on the crossway of the street that leads me to home. I was walking involuntarily. It was about night. I was in my room when I heard something. My room is just below the attic and there was commotion of some sort.

I suddenly felt an unknown presence in the room. Stale and dry air of the night now had a new scent in the room. I realised it's happening from the last two nights. Suddenly the cops and their words made sense.

"But why cops asked us to move out instead of searching the house?"

They did- and they found nothing. No trace of the stranger. No sign of their arrivals and stays. Not in the day. They brushed it off, telling the well-known tales of rodents' midnight ceremonies. Now they wanted to check themselves what happens in the night.

I don't blame them. They are so busy these days already. Now I've heard recently about some infamous terrorist who has escaped one night.

The attic of ours can serve as a spare room at times with few little adjustments. A bed, an old computer, a lamp, a cupboard, some spare furniture and boxes all along with an electricity outlet.

Now all you need is a potful of sizzling hot coffee with a decent sound system.

Except all that noise became unbearable one night. And I decided to check out myself. I gathered the courage to prove them I am not a paranoid!

I slowly made my way towards the stairs and teleported to the attic. That's one thing you gotta love about dreams. You can play detective without any chance of being detected.

At night, sound travels faster than light. So here's a couple of sounds I heard: creaking of the old bed, and a loud snoring.

Gotcha! It was indeed a very giant rodent that was snoring in the attic tonight. Jokes apart. It's time to be scared and quite as possible!

So there I stood in terror trying my best to stop my legs from shivering so badly when that hit me..

"How will I expose this to the world?"

The two cops appeared again. The attic turned into the guest room.

"You are under arrest for helping a national threat. You have the right to remain silent."

What?

I didn't- I couldn't.. I still don't know how that happened. I lost everything that day.

I was sent to child correction facility and everything came undone. I kissed my high school certificate goodbye...

But the worst part?

I lost my friends and my family won't see me like before ever.

"I need help"

It's not a request; it's a realisation. Pain reminds you that you're hurt physically.

Physical pain might be caused and may affect an individual differently but emotionally? It burns you from inside. Slowly.

Some people hurt themselves physically to feel something. Not because they need attention but because this vegetative state of their minds rots into a cesspool; drowning them like quicksand.

"I need help"

It's a sign of life, a cry amidst dead and decaying matter. It's a desperate search of anchor. Like a bubble it begins; with a burst it dies. The bubble never makes it to the surface...

"I need help"

Sounds selfish to me. As I roam and witness the blood-curdling cries and see the path smeared in crimson-

Something dies inside me... I want to scream and shut my eyes.

I want to wake up but I can't. I try, and try, and try.

Then I give up.

I lay down next to a body. It's a little boy.

There's something strange about him, though his face appears to be lifeless yet his smile looks so alive...

Either from the childhood wonders to messy adultery! I'll answer

I feel scared and trapped. It's late but yet I am wide awake. The air has an unsettling and clumsy feeling about it.

I feel so restless as paranoia seeps in my mind, slowly crawling behind me. This gives me an illusion of being watched at this hour.

Maybe this is just an recoil effect from things I watched back in the day- but it's not normal still...

Flashing fragments of blurry images dance in front of my eyes and these letters feel like static of the television.

But then again the reality hits me with an ascended degree and force. Now I feel the presence of fingertips across my shoulders. This sends a chilly wave through my spine.

I feel- I feel like thousands of insects are crawling on my back and I feel a sudden urge to strip open my jacket.

I start hearing things now. It is normal. Rodents are an essential part of my family now but then something unfamiliar happens. This feels like a made up fact even to myself but I think, I heard a loud noise which even all of the rodents collectively can't orchestrate.

I shake it off. Well played Mr. Mind! But your tricks can't fool me anymore. A smile slips through my lips as I turn towards the wall.

Shadows are his game but- this is new. Boy he's fast! He isn't goofing around anymore. Where's he? Where are the shadows?

Wait- where is my shadow?

Then the feeling returns again... Something's crawling on my neck, stabbing it's hooks on my back. I feel a sudden outburst of pain that I scream.

Huh!? How come I hear these words out loud but I didn't hear my scream? I force myself to scream again but I falter. The stinging pain causes me to drop down on my knees. I feel something dripping across my shoulders. Everything begin to spin around me, slowly blacking out. My vision blurs as I hear one last boom of laughter...

Dear Love,

How are you?

I want to ask you a few things if you don't mind?!

But would you mind if I started with that old school, "I dearly miss you!" line?

Wonder how things turned out this way...

Wonder how we became this way.

It feels like yesterday but yet resides as a fleeting memory; like a desperate attempt to get hold of a paper amidst of storm-

A fragment that contains a part of you, a part of my madness and words that never made it to life;

Do you remember me still?

Or was I a sudden burst of stale dust that caused you sneeze and raised your alarms wherever you found me?

Leaving you no choice than to hide in the places which were once a safe haven for us; still echoing with laughter...

May I ask about the midnight hours when you couldn't sleep and I was to blame for all this and that?

Times when you were so mad at me for letting things down like that and letting you go when I should've stopped you...

Do you still get furious for how good we were at understanding each other?

Trying to fix things perfectly and compulsively before the other shows up. The little acknowledgements, the little gestures we made.

Even the little talks that made you smile once; now makes it hard for you to breathe.

Should I talk about how desperate I am to catch a glimpse of your smile and live it all over again?

Yet scared to ruin the little stability you achieved over time.

Maybe it would be safe a bit to conclude that the feeling between us is mutual.

There's a reason that this talk resides as an entry in this blank space. This page don't deserve the delicate touch of your hands, neither the tenderness in your eyes.

Truly yours and yours forever...