Hey 22m just moved to the area and would love to play some soccer. Are there any weekly games of pick up that go on locally? I don't have a car but can bike or uber to the field
I’m 22 and recently moved across the country alone for my first job after college. On paper, it is an amazing opportunity. It is prestigious, pays very well, and is the type of job a lot of people would love to have. But I have only been here for four or five days, and I already feel miserable and constantly want to go home. This is not the first time something like this has happened. When I first moved away for college, I was about a six-hour drive from home. I developed really bad anxiety and depression during my first semester. It felt a lot like separation anxiety. I constantly overthought everything, worried about the future, and felt like I had lost my entire support system. I have a group of very close friends from home who I grew up with, and I am also extremely close with my parents. When I got to college, I struggled to form anything similar. I tried anxiety medication during my first semester, although I’m not sure how much it helped. Eventually, things became bad enough that I took a leave of absence and went home for a semester. Once I was home, I felt significantly better. I could think clearly again, felt more positive about life, and started applying to colleges closer to home. I did not get into the schools I applied to, so I eventually returned to the same college because I felt like I did not have another realistic option. When I returned, I brought a car and drove home frequently, usually about once a month during my sophomore and junior years. I made some friends at school, although nobody I would consider especially close. I also met my girlfriend, and I honestly think that relationship is what helped me get through college. I would not say I was happy during most of college, but I got through it. There were good periods and bad periods, but I was almost always longing to go home. Sometimes I would skip classes, do the work remotely, or even risk doing worse on a test if it meant I could stay home for another week. After graduating, I spent the summer back home with my family and close friends. I felt happy and comfortable again. Then, almost overnight, I had to pack everything and move across the country for this job. The first few days have been extremely rough. It feels like I am back at the beginning of college. During the day, I sometimes feel close to having a panic attack. My entire body becomes overwhelmed with the feeling that I need to quit the job, get on a plane, and go home immediately. My appetite has been bad, and at night I stay awake overthinking everything until three or four in the morning, even though I need to wake up for work. It probably does not help that I am not deeply passionate about the job itself. The job is fine, and I know I am fortunate to have it, but I cannot see myself doing this kind of work for the next 10 or 20 years. Long term, I think I would rather build something of my own or pursue something more entrepreneurial. Part of me wants to quit, go home, get professional help, develop a routine, figure out whether medication would help, and take some time to understand what I actually want from my life. Another part of me feels ashamed for even considering that. I have this prestigious, well-paying job that many people would kill for. I feel like I should be able to handle moving away from home and being separated from my girlfriend, parents, and friends. I am also afraid of what people from my hometown would think if I quit after moving across the country. I imagine them thinking, “He could not handle it, so he gave up and moved back home.” The situation is also complicated because “home” is changing. My parents recently bought a house in another state and are moving. Many of my close friends will also be moving to different parts of the country. My girlfriend will be in one place, my parents will be somewhere else, and the home I keep wanting to return to will not really exist in the same way anymore. I could potentially stay with my parents for a while, work on my mental health, and eventually find a job closer to my girlfriend. But I worry that doing that would only reinforce my fear of change and make it harder for me to become independent. I have always been very close with my parents. COVID happened while I was in high school, so I spent a lot of time at home, playing video games and staying inside my comfort zone. Even when I was very young, I used to have nightmares about my parents dying. The thought of losing them was one of the most frightening things imaginable to me. I also have a tendency to overthink and constantly try to plan my entire future. I feel like I need to identify the perfect career, location, relationship plan, and life path immediately. The alternatives I am interested in are less traditional and riskier than taking a normal job and climbing the corporate ladder, which makes me even more anxious. I know it has only been four or five days, and logically that is not enough time to decide whether this move will work. But right now, I feel genuinely miserable. It feels almost exactly like my experience starting college, and I am scared of repeating those years. Has anyone experienced something similar after moving away from home? How do you tell the difference between normal adjustment anxiety that will improve with time and a situation that is seriously damaging your mental health?
Would it make sense to speak with a therapist and psychiatrist before making any major decisions? Should I force myself to stay for a certain amount of time, or is going home and slowing everything down sometimes the healthier choice?
I would appreciate hearing from anyone who has dealt with separation anxiety, major life transitions, panic attacks, or difficulty becoming independent.
Honestly super weird and not an ad, but one of the scenarios I practiced on StudyCasper was on the actual test like word for word. Is this just because they reuse questions? or like maybe a massive coincidence idk lol
Title. Any advice on where I should live? Not planning on getting a car so okay with spending a bit more on rent to be in the downtown area vs. a bike ride away.