Ordered an item from a guy in NC, I’m in TN. This said item is roughly $1100. The guy I bought it from did not insure it for that amount after I asked him too. Should I be worried? Or do you guys think this will eventually come in? I’m not really sure what to do at this point. I also paid for 3 day shipping. How in the world has it just been sitting at a USPS facility for 4 days across the country???
I (25M) have been playing zombies since bo1 days. The crew I use to run with unfortunately does not play at all anymore. I’m tired of running these maps by myself. Anybody down to run some? I don’t care what map, just trying to do some Easter eggs or camo grind with some chill people!
Quick little update about my situation. First off, I want to clarify some things that I didn’t explain good on the first place. The syphilis issue arose from her becoming pregnant a few months back. We knew she would have major fertility issues going into the pregnancy too, and unfortunately it did not work out. She was originally tested for multiple STDs when we went to her first OBGYN appointment after first finding out. We were told by her doctor that pregnancy hormones can cause false positives for syphilis, and that it’s actually very common. After everything with the pregnancy did not go well, is when her OBGYN wanted us to go to the health department and get retested (After all of her pregnancy hormones finally leave her body is how she put it.) And that’s why we went.
Now, we finally did have a conversation early this morning. A multiple hour extremely difficult conversation. I want to start by saying, I don’t think she is cheating. I know the pregnancy was from me and only me 1000%. But with how busy we are, we work the same work schedule and are constantly doing things straight after work. I just don’t see a time where she could actually go through with something more physical. Also, I figured out that this man she had been having fantasies/dreaming about is married with 5 kids. He’s also pushing 50. (I found this out from Facebook, not from her.) I also did a super deep dive into her phone, did not see where there was any contact between them ever. There’s a work group chat where she has his number saved so I know she has his contact. I actually got onto the ATT app and searched through 3 months of her texts and calls to see if there were any texts or calls that she had made to him directly. There wasn’t a single one. Not a single text or call. These would show up even if she deleted the call or text off her phone. Also, her celebrity crush has always been Jason Mamoa. It just so happens this guy looks like Jason Mamoa. I could see why she could easily fall down a rabbit hole with him.
Anyways, I got the idea that this was just a one sided thing. I’m almost positive the guy she was talking about has no idea anything like this is happening. I’m pretty certain when I say this too. So that gives me a fair amount of confidence that she has not cheated, just acted very stupid. Now for the coworker friend. This coworker friend is a multiple time divorced 44 year old woman. From what I can see in all of her text threads as I went through her phone again, the coworker definitely enabled things. It started by her saying stuff along the lines of “don’t you think (random name) is so hot, I would do unholy things to him.” Which then my wife in early conversations would just send laughing emojis, or lol/lmao. It seems the female coworker just kept making remarks/comments like that to enable my wife to jump on the train. I’ve always been an extremely laid back guy with very little jealousy at all, so I could easily see where my wife thought the beginning of the things she said would be okay/I wouldn’t be upset with. I just think she took it too far, and I think she knows that now. Also, with how much her and her coworker shared in text threads, I’m almost 100% positive that if something physical would have happened, she would have shared it with her. Maybe not directly told her, but hinted at it. And there was no evidence of her hinting at it or straight up saying it.
In our conversation, I laid down some ground rules. First things first, I told her if our STD tests come back positive I will be moving out immediately and getting a lawyer for divorce. If it doesn’t, I told her I am willing to try and work past this. I told her conversation with this female coworker will stop entirely, through text and/or in person. (They work almost complete opposite schedules so it’s very rare that they work at the same time together to begin with.) I told her that if I saw conversations with her to continue, it’s over. I told her that if she ever says things like this again and doesn’t come to me about it and I find out, it’s over. I basically told her that if she has one slip up anytime in the future, we’re done. I had asked her alot of deep questions too. I had asked her things like have you every fantasized about guys before, is this the first time, are you curious what it’s like to be with another man, do you feel you missed out in life with us getting married so young, etc. She openly told me more than I thought she would. She claimed she has had sexual thoughts about other guys she met in her life, but she’s never openly talked about it with other people like that. I believe her too. I mean everyone has sexual fantasies, it happens. It’s just the part of her playing into it with a coworker that gets me. But I do feel I have a big part in this situation with taking some blame. Like I said, I’ve always been super laid back with her. We’ve always been the couple that if we’re out together and we see an attractive guy or an attractive woman, we will both call it how we see it. I’ll openly say wow, that woman’s hot or vice versa. It’s never been an issue. I think in this situation, she thought it was just what we do with each other all the time, that was pushed past the boundaries by her female coworker. I don’t think she truly realized how badly she crossed those boundaries until she was caught saying it by me.
Anyways, I’d live to sit here and type out our entire conversation we had. But it would probably be Harry Potter book length. I feel it was productive. For all the people that will call me a doormat or weak because of how I feel now, just piss off. Unfortunately there is nobody in this thread that knows my wife better than I do. (I’m also been in sales all my life so I’m really good at reading when people are bull shitting me.) I do feel she was being super truthful with me. So at the moment, divorce will not be happening. Unless Wednesday comes along and we get not so good news. To the level headed users out there that will not immediately jump to the most extreme, do you think I’ve gone about this in a good way? Am I still being to naive?
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/s/mXncr9xVxV
Original post linked above^^
My wife ‘25F’ and I ‘25M’just passed our 2 year anniversary. We’ve been together going on 10 years total. Everything had been extremely smooth our entire relationship until just a couple days ago.
A little context, we recently switched phone providers because our service had been terrible. And in doing that, we got new phones in the process. That being said, the night we got our new phones, after we transferred everything over, my wife asked me to factory reset both phones. I go to do hers, and right before I do, she gets a text from a coworker that I’ve heard of, but never met. All I know is this coworker is on the wild side. Curiosity got the best of me and I snooped. (I never go through her phone because I trust her, or did atleast.)
I proceeded to find 3 weeks of constant text threads of the two of them talking about how “unbelievably sexy” and “hot asf” 2 of their male coworkers are. At first, I felt like it was whatever. But then I found it. The night of our anniversary, my wife apparently had a sex dream with this male coworker. First thing the next morning, she goes and texts her female coworker all the details of how it was, how horny she was when she woke up, and how that’s all she’s thinking about now. They talked about this in a text thread for roughly 3-4 hours straight. My wife then explains how everytime she sees him at work that she instantly thinks about that dream and gets super turned on and “aroused”.
At this point, I felt like this was kind of uncalled for, but I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Until not even a day after this text thread, she then text her coworker again saying “I was bent over picking something up and he walked behind me trying to squeeze past me and I felt him and immediately got super wet. I just looked at him and smiled. I had to go to the bathroom to compose myself before I jumped on him in the store.” After reading this, I kind of just felt like crap.
Now comes the real crap that has my head all messed up. Around 2 weeks ago, my wife’s OBGYN called her saying that her blood test came back positive for syphillis. My wife claims her OBGYN is telling her it’s a false positive and she has no other signs of it what so ever. That being said, we both had to go to the health department and get tested hours before I found these text threads. At first, I believed her. But now, I’m starting to think she’s acted on some of these thoughts she’s been having and she’s trying to cover it up. Our text results come back this coming Wednesday. If I test positive, I feel like that gives me my answer to be honest, but I don’t know.
Anyways, I don’t really know how to move on from this. I feel lost. And I also feel like I’m overreacting. I don’t want divorce, especially over text threads. But my mind is spiraling. How do I move past this?