u/Jamjamjamh

My wife over 3+ weeks ago told me she loved me like a brother and felt like she could stray out side the marriage. 4 days later in reaction to my shock and distance because my head was fried she went and hooked up with a guy.

At first she denied it, then admitted it when she had to but with a watered down version. Last week I have found out more of the truth and there has been emotional stuff going on since January (Flirting and photos).

She originally blamed the breakdown of our marriage and the reason for going astray on both of us and distance created due to my mental health issues of past.

I've told her I'm filing for divorce but I haven't done it yet but my solicitor has advised to start the process.

I am getting therapy as well now.

I'm getting long messages now in my inbox when I have woken up with apologies, wanting to keep the family together and seeking forgiveness. This is after weeks of no accountability, anger towards me and persuasive tactics.

I have told her it's a firm boundary and there is no going back. She is trying to get me to slow down and try to reconcile.

Can anyone share any advice or experiences they have had of this and how it ultimately progressed as I don't think it's me who she wants I think it's just her panicking that life is about to change?

My wife told me on Friday morning, she loves me but she loves me like a brother. She then mentioned knight in shining armour and affair in a few sentences but said she didn't want that. It's all abit of a blur looking back cause I'm in shock. 

 

That night she went out with her divorced best friend at 7pm for a drink and to talk about her friends HR case (my wife works in Hr). She didn't get in till 1.10am.

 

I don't have any choice now to look to separate. I think I'm waiting to be cheated on and this is a soft landing so wanting to take control. 

 

We've been married for 10 years and have a 4 and 7 year old. I've had my fair share of MH issues in the past and she has said she learned to block me out and she can see I'm better but she's never been able to retrieve what was there before. She says she's unsure about whether it can come back but from that discussion and the night time she has basically whether she intended to or not friend zoned me. 

 

She goes away with work this week for a few days and I'm going to phone a solicitor and then have a conversation with her when she's back. 

 

I'm upset but yet somewhat relieved but also anxious about the series of events that will unfold. 

 

Anyone got any advice? Or similar experience? 

My wife told me on Friday morning, she loves me but she loves me like a brother. She then mentioned knight in shining armour and affair in a few sentences but said she didn't want that. It's all abit of a blur looking back cause I'm in shock. 

 

That night she went out with her divorced best friend at 7pm for a drink and to talk about her friends HR case (my wife works in Hr). She didn't get in till 1.10am.

 

I don't have any choice now to look to separate. I think I'm waiting to be cheated on and this is a soft landing so wanting to take control. 

 

We've been married for 10 years and have a 4 and 7 year old. I've had my fair share of MH issues in the past and she has said she learned to block me out and she can see I'm better but she's never been able to retrieve what was there before. She says she's unsure about whether it can come back but from that discussion and the night time she has basically whether she intended to or not friend zoned me. 

 

She goes away with work this week for a few days and I'm going to phone a solicitor and then have a conversation with her when she's back. 

 

I'm upset but yet somewhat relieved but also anxious about the series of events that will unfold. 

 

Anyone got any advice from anyone who has been through this, good or bad?

Tl;dr my wife says she now loves me as a brother and I'm going to leave her

My wife told me on Friday morning, she loves me but she loves me like a brother. She then mentioned knight in shining armour and affair in a few sentences but said she didn't want that. It's all abit of a blur looking back cause I'm in shock. 

 

That night she went out with her divorced best friend at 7pm for a drink and to talk about her friends HR case (my wife works in Hr). She didn't get in till 1.10am.

 

I don't have any choice now to look to separate. I think I'm waiting to be cheated on and this is a soft landing so wanting to take control. 

 

We've been married for 10 years and have a 4 and 7 year old. I've had my fair share of MH issues in the past and she has said she learned to block me out and she can see I'm better but she's never been able to retrieve what was there before. She says she's unsure about whether it can come back but from that discussion and the night time she has basically whether she intended to or not friend zoned me. 

 

She goes away with work this week for a few days and I'm going to phone a solicitor and then have a conversation with her when she's back. 

 

I'm upset but yet somewhat relieved but also anxious about the series of events that will unfold. 

 

Anyone got any advice? Or similar experience?