u/Jealous_Gap188

I just remembered a confession my little brother made to me when we were younger. I have two younger brothers who are two years apart and shared a room for their entire childhood. The younger of the two told me that they had put their mouths on each-other's privates one night. I was pretty disturbed and told him that was incest. I kind of forgot about it afterwards and only now remembered it. Is this normal, curious behavior for younger boys?

Senior year of high school was amazing. I had a huge group of friends, I participated in sports, worked a part time job, skirted by with an easy schedule and nice teachers, entered my first long term relationship, and basically experienced every milestone and exciting first alongside him. I felt like I finally had everything figured out. How to be happy, how to easily make friends, and how to help myself succeed.

I wrote off college pretty early on. I knew i’d hate it. I had taken two dual enrollment courses my junior year and was forced to drop them both. I knew myself and knew college would be a bad idea. However, when the military denied me because of ADHD medication, I had the choice of either working at my part time job at my parents house while everyone around me headed off to college or just go to college with them. In a last ditch effort I applied and was accepted.

I hate it. It’s just as bad as I knew it would be. I’m currently unmedicated so that may be playing a part in it. EVERYTHING is online. i specifically picked all in-person classes since i knew online schooling is a struggle for me but it really makes no difference. I don’t understand how to operate the website for the assignments and can’t for the life of me figure out due dates or where to turn things in. Everything is so confusing.

On top of that, being a commuter is so incredibly frustrating. I’m living with a relative close to the college but it’s still about a half hour drive. I’m bored and lonely and Im starting to feel really depressed. I feel so out of touch around everyone else since I literally haven’t touched a single assignment. While others are talking about how swamped they are with homework, I wouldn’t even know if there’s a test I need to be studying for. I keep skipping classes too and it’s becoming an issue.

Not being employed is a source of major stress. I’ve applied EVERYWHERE. I thought having a job would help bring some routine and purpose back into my life. I’m also two tanks away from being completely broke which will then cause me to dip into my FASFA money for gas and rent.

I feel ashamed and frustrated and stupid. I feel like I’m wasting thousands of dollars from my own pocket. I feel even more discouraged with no one to walk through it with me. I was so used to repercussions from a teacher or a parent when I didn’t turn in an assignment. I was used to having teammates and friends in my boat experiencing the same things. I was used to doing homework with my ex or venting to him when things weren’t working out. Since we’ve broken up over the summer, I feel so lonely. And now that we now both go to the same college, the urge to reach out and latch onto some sense of familiarity and comfort is so strong.

I don’t want to quit and drop out because I can’t see any future coming out of that but I also have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. I feel like I’m drowning but at the same time I’m not since there’s no real repercussions. I guess except for the financial repercussions that I’m burdening myself with. I’m not sure if i’m up for adulting if I can’t even keep myself afloat and accomplish the basics. I feel awful and it’s only been 3 weeks.

Ok, please let me know if this is the wrong place to post this but I’d love advice and words from other women. I just got out of my first relationship with a man who I really loved and found out that he watched porn halfway through. It caused a lot of confusion and resentment- and I went back and forth from being okay with it to hating how it made me feel.

I’d read all sorts of research about porn and its effects on people and if it really is a valid dealbreaker. Men on reddit are quick to say that the only reason boyfriends need porn is because the girlfriend isn’t satisfying them or they don’t want to bother their girlfriend with their higher sexual needs.

This doesn’t make sense to me because I was the partner with the MUCH higher libido and was constantly turned down towards the end of our relationship. I also see men explaining that it’s not personal and that to them it’s just a tool to get off and it’s separate from their attraction towards their girlfriends. I know women and men think differently about these things and I suppose I can understand that mindset.

It’s difficult to stomach as a woman because love and lust is so intertwined for me. When I love somebody, they’re the only person I lust for. I’ll watch porn outside of a relationship, but when I’m in one I just really don’t see the need for it.

Since being single I’ve had some time to contemplate the whole thing and think about how I want to approach it in future relationships. Other girls will tell me that “all men do it.” Is it true?

I know how awful it made me feel learning that someone I thought was on the same page as me was actually mindlessly scrolling through thousands of sexualized thirst traps on a secret account (which was somehow worse to me than finding out he just watched normal porn.) It completely altered my self image and I lost my appetite and attraction towards him for awhile. I’m unsure if that was just because of my naivety and underlying insecurities or if that was a genuinely valid response.

I’ve also watched the effects of porn in my parents relationship. My very christian father was addicted when he was younger and it made my mother depressed and very hurt. Shes finally becoming someone that’s confident in herself but growing up I‘d watch her talk negatively about her body and try to shrink herself to be someone good enough for my dad.

So, going forward, is it realistic for me to ask that a man doesn’t watch porn? Or is that controlling and naive? Is it really the case that all men do this and it isn’t that serious?

This is my first time posting on reddit and the relationship advice subreddit directed me to here because both my boyfriend and I are still teenagers. My boyfriend and I have issues with trust. More than often it's me having a difficult time trusting him. I went through a period of paranoia and investigation that I'm not proud of. I had his account (We were logged into each others social medias and google accounts) and I was constantly checking what he was doing. This started multiple issues where I'd catch him doing something he previously lied about. One of the things I found was him logging onto a version of Omegle. It started showing up in his history maybe every few weeks or so but it soon became a very frequent website that he visited.

When I first asked him about it, he told me he only used it to troll people with his cousin. I asked him if he knew why it made me a little uneasy and explained how there can be a lot of flirting or sexual encounters on those websites, to which he laughed at and responded: "We probably see more guys on it than girls. And besides, it's all managed now." I dropped it after that explanation. I told him I felt better knowing he only used it with his cousin because my head was picturing it a little differently. He assured me he only ever used the website with his cousin.

A few days later, I noticed a notification that he purchased a subscription for the website. Despite my best judgement, I logged onto the website for the first time. The subscription he had purchased was one that allowed him to specifically match with women. His settings were set to females only and his history of chats were pages upon pages of girls. I began to freak out and confronted him about it the following morning, asking him what the intent behind that purchase was.

He told me again that he only used Omegle with his cousin and that his cousin was the one who sent him the money. When I asked him why they wanted to specifically match with girls, he told me "we were tired of seeing guys with their dicks out." I brought up the fact that he told me it was managed before and he explained it away by saying he was talking about two different websites. He said "Why would I cheat on you with Omegle?" It still didn't really make a lot of sense to me but he changed the topic quickly and became upset at me for constantly investigating him. That was the final straw for him and he logged me out of everything.

We had a long talk about boundaries and trust. I recognize that I was over the top at this point of the relationship and I did apologize. Its been a month or so now and the relationship has been slightly better. However, I've never mentioned to him that I'm still logged into his google account on his laptop that he lent to me and I still see all of his logins to this website. I try to ignore it, but it's almost a daily thing for him. Our sex life has been non existent lately (he says that the thought of touching me right now makes his stomach hurt), his time on video games and omegle has rapidly increased, and he's been less affectionate overall.

I see him log in to this website every other hour. I feel like I'm going insane. There's no way he's on call with his cousin this often. Today I was over at his house and he initiated sexually for the first time in over 3 weeks. It was a lot of fun and it made me extremely happy that he was finally feeling up to it. When I got home I was smacked in the face with a notification showing me he logged onto the website only a few minutes after I left his house. I saw that he renewed his subscription a few days ago and again, I logged into the website. His history of chats were strictly girls, one of them from a few days ago was over an hour long. He also had a good few direct messages from mostly sex bots (that he did not open) but there were also messages from real people labeled as friends that he matched with. Both were girls around our age. One of the girls reached out to him but he didn't respond.

I don't know how to feel. I've been pretty blissfully ignorant lately and I've been trying so hard to trust him. Is the fact that he's not engaging in these messages enough proof that nothing sneaky is going on? It's just that I know my boyfriend and I have this gross feeling that these chats are giving him a sense of attention and validation and he'd rather lie to me about it to keep talking to them. I really want to bring this up to him. Maybe I could ask him if he was on a call with his cousin today? Since he supposedly only visits Omegle with his cousin. His answer would tell me if he's telling the truth about his intentions with the website. How in the world do I bring this up without ruining the relationship and revealing that I'm still crossing a boundary by looking at his notifications and recently visited websites? Has anyone had a similar experience? I know Omegle is not just for flirting and I know guys and girls can be friends without any further intentions.... but this just doesn't feel right.