u/Jo_Doc2505

I'm due to receive my next UC payment on 26th May. I had thought, given the weekend and the bank holiday that I would have got it already. (It usually comes in the night before it's due).

Any ideas why it's not there yet? Or when it will actually be paid?

My girlfriend [23F] and I [27M] are doing long distance right now while she is tree planting. I understand that job can be intense: bad service, long days, camp moves, exhaustion, injuries, and not much time or privacy. I’ve been trying to be understanding of that.

The last time we had a proper phone call was May 6. The call was good. We didn’t have a fight. We talked about next summer and I mentioned maybe trying to work as a checker in tree planting so we could be together. She said that probably wouldn’t be likely because those jobs usually go to people still in the industry, and even then I might not be placed with her camp. That was disheartening, but the call itself was fine. We said we loved each other.

On May 8, she texted me saying a stick went into her foot. I asked if she was okay and she basically said it was fine. Since then, I haven’t heard from her directly.

She had told me before that they were switching camps around May 12 and that might be the next time I hear from her, but that didn’t happen. Since then, she has had service at different points. My messages have delivered. She has been travelling through places with reception. I still haven’t gotten even a quick “hey, I’m alive,” “I need space,” or “I’ll talk when I can” message.

I reached out to one of her friends to ask if this was normal for tree planting. Her friend said communication can be really bad during planting, and that she has barely heard from her either, but she has received a few Snapchats from her. The friend also mentioned that my girlfriend has been posting on her Close Friends Instagram story. I used to be able to see those stories, but now I can’t, so it seems like I was removed from that list.

A couple days later, that same friend told me she could call my girlfriend and ask how our long distance relationship was going in a natural way. She said she would do it “undercover” and would not mention that I had asked anything or that I was involved.

She did call her, then got back to me and said my girlfriend told her she hasn’t spoken to me in a bit and just needs some space until she reaches out.

The friend told me to just hang in there. I know she meant well, but that really hit me hard. I’ve done long distance three other painful times, and in my experience, when someone says they “need space,” it has always been the beginning of the end.

What is bothering me most is that my girlfriend told someone else she needed space, but never told me directly. I would have respected needing space if she had communicated that to me. Instead, I’ve been left not knowing where we stand.

I’ve been sleeping badly, eating badly, and stressing over this a lot. I know that’s my own responsibility to manage, but it has been difficult not knowing if I’m still in a relationship or if she’s checked out and just hasn’t told me.

I also removed location sharing because I was checking too much and it was making me feel worse.

There’s also a storage unit situation that I need practical advice on.

I had a storage unit in her hometown that I was paying for, but it was getting too expensive, so I already cleared it out and moved everything to a unit closer to me. When I opened the unit, I found that she had put some of her things in there, including around $1,500 worth of ski gear and clothes.

I need advice on how to communicate about her belongings and set a clear pickup/shipping deadline. I do not want to make a 10-hour drive to drop everything off at her dad’s house, especially because I do not have his address and would need to ask for it. I also do not want to store her belongings indefinitely.

My current plan is to wait until May 24. If she still hasn’t contacted me directly by then, I’m planning to send one final message ending the relationship. I need advice on how to word that message clearly and calmly, and how to handle her belongings without creating more conflict.

I also want advice on what kind of message to send about her belongings, and what kind of deadline to give her to arrange pickup or shipping.

TL;DR:
My girlfriend is tree planting and hasn’t contacted me directly since May 8. She has had some service and told a friend she needs space, but never told me directly. I’m planning to wait until May 24 and then send one final message if I still haven’t heard from her. I also need practical advice on how to word that message and how to handle her belongings from my storage unit.