I have been married for 17 years (well this month will be 17) and we were friends before we were married, she is still to this day my best friend in the world. however, last April I had a near death experience at work, and while I was not physically injured that bad, the mental injury is deep. the 1 year anniversary of this incident was maybe the worst day ive had since the incident itself, her and I got into an argument over, I don't even honestly remember, but in the midst of it, she told me the last year would have been easier if I hadn't survived. yes, she apologized, and yes I "forgive" her, but I just can't get the statement out of my head. needed to get that out into the world, because I haven't told a single other person that comment was made. thank for listening.
u/JstAt5GuY
I wonder if I will ever be a priority to my wife again? Or if my needs will ever be put before her work, the kids, the house… basically anything. Hope in one hand and shit in the other am I right? 17 years and I’ve resorted to venting so as not to start another fight over the same fucking shit. Thanks for listening FML
How long has it been since we have actually kissed? Like real passionate, both want it… I love you kind of kiss? How long has it been since I’ve felt like you WANT me, for more than 15 minutes on a random weekday when you’ve slept for 12 hours, the kids are gone, the moon was full and it’s a leap year? How long has it been since our world completely changed? I can answer that one, 12 months 48 hours and about 16 minutes. I’m sorry I survived that incident, I’m sorry a part of who I was died in that attic.. im sorry a part of us both died that morning, I’m sorry the person I came back as isn’t enough for you. I’m sorry the husband I was before 4-28-2025 isn’t the one I am today. The part of me that survived, did so for you and the kids. I remember the first time I heard your voice, I remember I couldn’t handle it, I remember hearing it in what I thought was my last moments, cherishing it , and my memories of us. And then BAM, there it is, real life, on the phone. I remember walking in the house, I remember the way you looked, the sounds. I remember how badly I needed to embrace you, I never wanted to let go. I remember that moment every time I walk in the door. I have been trying so hard to be the man you deserve, the father they deserve, I show up everyday, with intent, with hope that something will shift .. that part that died in you that morning when you heard will come back. The softness that you had, the love and connection we have shared for 17 years. Often times I am a burden on your schedule, your methods, your ways, but I’m trying. I will be better, for you, and for me. I’ll keep hoping, I’ll keep waiting. I’ll keep understanding, because I love you. I was strong enough to survive, I must be strong enough now to live. But no life is worth living without you by my side. I’m sorry you have to carry that day, I try and carry it myself, but like it or not it happened to both of us. We fight the same storm from separate sides… I’m right here for you, with you. I always will be. I love you
A year ago today I almost didn’t make it home from work…(public safety profession), it was as close as one gets to death without dying… this day has been building on me for about a month now… and the one person who I expected to give a flying fuck what this day means for both us (my wife) is being an absolute fucking asshole from the second we got up.., I’m sure it’s her way of coping but it’s bull shit I’ve been the target for her irritation for about a week now and I’m over it! Do I say something or just keep it to myself… that’s a figurative question .. I’m liable to Blow a gasket if I speak my mind. Anyways have a great day needed to get it out!