u/Jumpy_Fix5082

I was born at a very young age. My mom was a female. My sister was also a female. The worst part about all this is that i was born on my birthday.

When I was growing up, my parents were significantly older than me. My father was a male.

I have to live in the exact same planet as other men. It made me so gay.

Every time I opened my eyes, I was forced to look at whatever was right in front of me.

Growing up, I had to eat food every single day or else I would feel hungry.

Whenever I cried as a baby, tears came out of my eyes.

Whenever I looked in a mirror, I was forced to see my own reflection.

The absolute worst part was my height. I spent my entire childhood shorter than I am today.

I bought a car, but it turns out I had to pay money for it.

I used water, which was extremely wet.

I used to have to breathe air every single day just to stay alive.

Every time I spend a dollar, my bank account balance decreases by exactly 100 cents.

life is so hard man.

Okay so today I downloaded Kali Linux (took 8 hours on my mom’s Wi-Fi but whatever, real security researchers don't sleep anyway) and I just discovered this metasploit tool.

BRO. IT IS SO OVER FOR EVERYONE. The raw power sitting on my Intel i3 processor is terrifying. I could crash the global financial system

You literally just type use exploit/something/something and then run AND YOU HAVE FULL ACCESS TO THE MATRIX. NASA? Hacked. CIA? Hacked. Plantir hacked. My school’s just About to see my GPA jump to a 5.0.

BRO. I AM OFFICIALLY A THREAT TO NATIONAL SECURITY

Tried to exploit my school's Wi-Fi. My terminal generated 80 lines of red error text. RED MEANS IT WORKED. THE FIREWALL IS BLEEDING. I AM OVERWRITING THEIR MAIN ROUTER'S MAINFRAME RIGHT NOW.

I told my mom I’m a very high profile cyber operator now and she told me to go take out the trash, but she doesn't realize I can literally jam her smart fridge using msfconsole if I wanted to (I don't know how to do that yet, but I saw a video where a guy typed something like "sudo apt install tetris" really fast so I know it's possible).

I just ordered a black hoodie with thumb holes off Amazon using my birthday money. If the FBI raids my room tomorrow, tell my mom I loved her, but the cyber underworld called and I answered.

Today i got in bed with my garndmother and my father started beating me for it.

Honestly it is so unfair, he has been sleeping with my mom and i never said a word.

Now he is angry when i am sleeping with his mother.

In a terminal, every command gets a response. If only real life had an output. My heart runs on sudo rm -rf *feelings because I had to forcibly delete my feelings.

An IP address doesn't betray you but the person sitting behind it does.

I can patch the security flows but i can't patch my own heart. 💔