u/Just-Memory3579

I feel useless and lazy. I’ll go a week where I hardly do anything and I’ll feel so insanely guilty because I know laziness is a sin. The thing is, I AM still getting everything done that needs to be done, but I still manage to spend majority of the day on my phone or laying in bed. And then when I finally spend a day entirely out of my bed, I feel like garbage and I’m reminded as to WHY I spend so much time in bed. I’m constantly tired and drained. I don’t know where all my energy is gone. I don’t usually scroll on my phone. Like when I’m on my phone I’m usually watching something educational, reading, or doing something that I would deem “productive”.

Plus if I’m up and about too much, I get horrible headaches and start to feel nauseous and stressed and just ugh. I’m 18 and I don’t have a job, I don’t have my license, and I don’t have my passport which I need for summer plans. I really want to make YouTube and I know that’s what God wants me to do too, but then I feel like there’s no point in even trying because I don’t think I can do it or go anywhere with my channel. I still make videos but they aren’t anywhere close to as good as I want them to be. And they are so so random. Like none of my videos correlate with each other which is not ideal for growing a channel.

I know that I’m hard on myself, but I have every right to be when I’m absolutely terrible at being a functioning person. I just feel so much pressure to be something and I’m nothing. And I know I need to lean on God more, but I just feel guilty.

Sorry for the long rant, if you have any advice please share it. I don’t get offended so be honest.

I’m thinking about making a YouTube video about how op Cleo’s power’s actually are (but I’m thinking without limitations) like if using her powers took little to no energy and she could harness it all at once. Or the technicals. Like she can technically make water spawn out of seemingly nowhere because there’s water everywhere. She could pull water out of her tail and transform back but for some reason she doesn’t in the show?

Hear me out on this one: she could “fly”. It’s her ability to either use water as a jet pack, or her ability to control wind. I mean the three mermaids did make Lewis fly out of the volcano.

Another one: she could control the body movement of others (based on her ability to move liquids and we know it’s not just water because she moved Miriam’s blood) so if you think about it, maybe she could control others.

Tell me if I’m just being silly or if that’s actually something you’d watch on yt 😅 I’ll get fully into it and everything dw. And if you have any out of the box ideas for the 3 mermaids, lmk!

A girls gotta swim.

I’m not diagnosed with anything, but I guess I just feel alone and idk where to go. I hate food. I hate eating. It seems so pointless. I only eat when my body starts to shake and it’s hard to function because I feel weaker. Eating is so pointless. And all it does is make me feel sick. I hate the feeling of being full. I brush my teeth sometimes just to get the feeling of having food in my mouth out. Everything I eat either leaves me feeling empty or clunky. Like it feels like there’s a boulder in my tummy. I’ve started to like the feeling of being hungry because it’s just so much less painful or uncomfortable. I constantly think about food, but nothing is good. I hate fast food. There’s like 3 foods I can eat without feeling like the biggest pile of crap (only a tiny poop). But I can’t get my lazy ass off my bed to do anything and I’m just useless.

I want a bigger butt, but I can’t gain anything because i don’t get enough calories. My weight stays the same. And then when i do start gaining because im forcing myself to eat, i stop eating because it’s just too much. I suffer from constant constipation mainly from my eating habits and insomnia so I’m always tired. Plus low iron. So it’s just. Stupid. I also have a jaw that pops everytime I open my mouth so that’s probably effecting it as well. I wish I could just never eat, but still have enough calories and protein and whatever else I need. Watching fitness influencers eat almost motivates me, but I just can’t.

I used to love food…