u/Key-Entertainer6734

I’m not endocrinologist and in general quite far from medicine but I suddenly got curious. Does testosterone blocking estrogen already? I would appreciate an answer!

I’m nonbinary although I almost never speak openly about that, just try to look as androgynous as possible and live my life. Lately I’ve befriended a person who’s allegedly FTM so he’s not uncommon with different kinds of gender identity and of course the fact that people have their preferred pronouns. In my native language there’s a lot of gendered forms of the words, especially verbs, and I usually either just avoid those forms as much as possible either use plural or neuter form, and I never ever once referred to myself as my AGAB while talking to him. But he keeps referring to me as my AGAB and I usually don’t really mind that from the other people bc most people around me are conservative and don’t care at all about how I refer to myself. But in this case somewhere deep in my heart was some kind of hope that he’ll refer to me just like I refer to myself. Why don’t he do that? It’s not too difficult to notice in my native language, I’d say it’s really easy bc there’s a lot of such words. And he never asked me about my preferred pronouns. It’s nagging me deep down, yet I can’t even correct him bc I’m idk too ashamed to speak about my gender identity with someone else. I even gave some kind of hints about how to see me correctly but he either doesn’t pays attention either simply doesn’t care. This whole thing makes me kinda sad and I feel myself some sort of not valid. Although my shyness to speak about my own gender not allowing me to stop that. And those thoughts “what if he doesn’t support nonbinary people?”, “what if he’s transmedicalist or sees only FTM and MTF people valid?”. That would be devastating because I don’t want to ruin our already pretty good starting friendship.

English is not my native language, but I love it so much as well because there’s not so many gendered words compared to my native language. Like, in English I can say “I walked down the street” and that wouldn’t be gendered at all, but in my native language almost all verbs in forms that used more usually in daily speech are gendered and this is a big pain for me. And also there’s no alternative to they/them because there’s either literally “it” in English or plural form (we), so there’s no way to use gender neutral words and don’t sound very weird. And if I try to use he/she, people just refer to me as my AGAB all the time and that’s shit. Praise English for its neutrality🙏

Okay, it’s been difficult journey for me to finally find myself. For some time I thought I’m transmask, for others that I’m cis woman, but now I strongly feel that nonbinary fits me most. So, I find it kinda important to come out to at least someone to finally feel valid and comfortable and for them to stop using only she/her pronouns, I don’t like that. But there’s a problem: I’ve always convinced everyone (myself included lol) around me that I’m cis woman (I did that bc I look kinda androgynous and even masculine, and that raised questions sometimes) and I feel like it would be weird to at some point just “ahh, remember I told you that I’m cis woman? Convinced you with all my might and with a lot of arguments? Forget that, I’m actually nonbinary”. Do you have any advices what can I do so this process wouldn’t be weird and embarrassing?