u/Key-Raisin2113

Hello girls! I am SO obsessed with this specific perfume that a girl in my high school used to wear. It has been stuck in my head all these years, but I just can’t find anything that smells like it. 😭

I literally stalked down the girl’s social media through our mutual friend group from high school. I finally reached out to her, and she told me it was Sol de Janeiro 71, which is obviously a lie because I bought it and it does NOT smell like what I remember.

When I was in high school, I actually asked her what perfume she was wearing, and she gave me a really difficult name. I remember it had glitter/shimmer in it, and when I looked up the price, it was around $100.
It smelled SO sweet, like pure white chocolate. Not vanilla, not milk, PURE WHITE CHOCOLATE. It wasn’t strong or overpowering to the nose either, but it lasted for a really long time.

PLEASE, girls, help me find this perfume or recommend anything that smells exactly like that. I really don’t want something that dries down smelling like milk or vanilla.

Honestly, guys, I need therapy. No perfume has ever smelled that good. I would give my right kidney to find this perfume again.

So today I saw a TikTok video that really made me reflect on Somali culture. I’ve noticed that in Somali culture, arranged marriages or living with in-laws are not as common as in other Muslim cultures, like among the Timo Jilac and Dhaga Cas people. The same goes for how Somalis view divorced women, it’s not the same as how some ajanabi Muslim communities view them.

My Bengali friend could not believe that we don’t usually live with our in-laws and that it can actually be looked down upon in our culture. Growing up, I used to hear “1000 shukanso hal kala soo bax” or something along those lines. It’s completely different from other Muslim cultures.

Anyways my question is where did Somalis get this view of marriage and shukansi from, compared to other Muslim countries even though we all believe in one religion.

Dude, these people keep pushing propaganda against Somalia, and it’s crazy. They’re giving qabiil information to cadaans, spreading lies, and more.

But I want to talk about how deep this propaganda goes with some Landers. It’s gotten so bad that even the Say Wallahi crowd actively teaches ajanabis about qabiil and other divisive stuff. One example I’ve noticed is Nisrin, an ex-Muslim who is a Lander. She constantly exaggerates Somali culture and paints Somalis in the worst possible light to foreigners. Whenever she talks about how badly she was treated for being a girl or for leaving Islam, she says “Somalia.” But whenever she talks about positive experiences, she says “Somaliland.” That seems really strange to me. You might think I’m overreacting, but how is that not propaganda against Somalia?

I’ve also seen videos where they post random unattractive Somalis and label them as being from Somalia, while posting attractive Somalis and calling them Landers—even when some of those people are actually from southern Somalia. Yes, it’s that deep.

I understand that many terrible things happened to Isaaq people, but let’s be real, what Somali qabiil hasn’t suffered? Look at the Rahanweyn genocide, the persecution of the Shanshi, the discrimination against Somali Bantu communities, what said barre and Aideed fight did to many Darood and Hawiye civilians, Yet you don’t see those groups actively trying to damage Somalia’s image or make life harder for Somalis in Western society.

I have noticed that a lot of non-Somalis seem to feel entitled in Somali online spaces. I have also noticed that South Asian, Arab, and other Black Muslim women aren’t held to the same standards that Somali women are. It’s strange because many non-Somali Muslim women in the West, especially don’t wear the hijab, yet some of them are the loudest when criticizing Somali women who don’t wear it.

A lot of Arab and South Asian hijabi influencers have taken off their hijab, but they rarely receive the same level of hate that Somali influencers get when they make the same decision. Just look at Earth to Khadijah’s comment section. Many of the negative comments are from non-Somalis, especially South Asians.

On top of that, some people expect one-sided loyalty from Somalis just because we’re all Muslim. I saw two Somali girls wearing Senegal shirts to support Senegal, and a bunch of Moroccans started attacking them for no reason, even though the girls never mentioned Morocco. It was so weird.

Personally, I didn’t wear the hijab until I hit puberty.
When I was 14 in Sweden, a Syrian guy told me, “You’re Somali and you don’t wear the hijab? You’re disgusting.” Meanwhile, his own twin sister didn’t wear a hijab either.
Somali sisters, have you experienced this too, or is it just me?

So this may be an insensitive or ignorant post to some, but I genuinely don’t understand why it’s such a bad thing to ask someone what their qabiil is or what part of Somalia they’re from. Especially if you’re talking to someone for marriage purposes, I think it needs to be asked.

I get that some qabiils face discrimination, and some people are ashamed or feel judged when they say what they are but I consider it a dealbreaker if a guy I’m romantically interested in refuses to tell me his qabiil.

The way I see qabiil is that it’s part of your identity—nothing more. If my parents ask me, I need to be able to tell them what the guy’s qabiil is, and so on.

The reason I bring up this topic is because my friends and I were talking about marriage, and somehow we got onto this subject. My friends low-key ganged up on me and said that asking someone their qabiil is insensitive and ignorant, and that they have a negative view of it. My parents were never the qabiilist type, but they are very proud of their heritage, so I’ve always had a positive view of it.
So my question is, Is it weird to ask a friend, a romantic

partner, or anyone else what their qabiil is?

So this is a just a question of mine, would you guys marry Muslim Somali ?

I know a friend of mine who recently found out that her husband is a closet kaffir, and it completely devastated her. I used to think non-religious Somali people were rare or almost nonexistent, but lately I’ve come across more of them.

As a Muslim, one of my biggest fears is marrying a closet kaffir or a DL man. So I’m curious: how many of you would secretly marry a Muslim woman/man without telling them the truth about your beliefs or sexuality?

I think it’s unfair and immoral that some people have to go through that because their partner couldn’t be honest from the beginning. And I don’t want to hear that my fear is irrational, because recently I’ve seen many stories on social media—and even some in real life—of Somali women finding out their husbands were DL.

What are your thoughts on this, especially regarding the DL part? Personally, I don’t understand why anyone would marry someone when they don’t share the same values, beliefs, or moral principles.