A message to those who have troubles similar to Tyler
I'm not gonna bore anyone here with my story, but trust me, when it comes to suicide and depression I got my credits.
And as someone like that, even though I never played the game, or the remake because I was afraid of what it might trigger in me, listening to Tyler's story in this video and the previous gives me courage, hope and confirmation that even though I might relapse time and time again, and trip and fall the right thing to do will always be to stand up. Not just for others, those who care about me and love me, but for myself.
I am a human just as much as anyone else, and I deserve a shot at a happy life. Just yesterday from this post I made a serious blunder and spiraled (that could've gotten a lot more bleak if the friend I reached out to didn't help me break out of it) after doing very good in recovery for 3 years. But I am not gonna let it define me, I'll learn from it and when I'm weak I'll lean on those who are willing to land a hand. Because there is always people like that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: if you are out there reading this post, and you zoned out for a couple minutes staring at a kitchen knife at the dinner table, or closed your eyes and fell back first into your bed while picturing yourself taking flight from the local bridge to the bottom of the river, I'm on my knees begging you to please talk to someone, doesn't have to be a professional right away, but someone who wants what's best for you needs to know. And then you'll figure it out if there is in fact something to figure out. Be kind to yourself and believe me, and/or the people telling you that you are valuable and precious.
It's very easy to shut the blinds and start twisting facts to serve certain narratives that make living a life of hard truths easier, but the complexity of these situations is exactly what makes them managable, survivable. Thinking in extremes is easier but thinking rationally is a lot more forgiving to all parties involved. Please if you catch yourself smearing and/or erasing things that are matter of fact, just sit back for a minute and consider accepting reality instead. If there is a relationship gone sour, talk it out. If you yearn for something, let your friends and family know. If you suddenly notice a brick in your hand, stop building walls. I've been there, I had my Fort Oasis and I paid the price dearly. If there is one cardinal line of advice I hope with all my heart that you take: be vocal. As long as you're social you are safe. Keep it up!