u/Kindly-Story3555

do cheaters come back after getting caught and left (in the beginning of the relationship they ghosted and came back and forgave them)

**the full story is an paragraph in the comment if it appears since i cant post it fully here some parts are removed here ‼**️
I’m a girl from Morocco, and I used Tinder for a few months. After a lot of bad experiences and toxic patterns, I decided to use Passport Mode and set my location to Spain. At first, I mainly wanted to meet people from different cultures and practice my Spanish.
That’s how I met a guy who was born and lives in Spain. We matched, started talking on Instagram, and quickly became close. He was kind, respectful, interesting, and we had deep conversations about our lives and past relationships. We played Minecraft together, watched an anime movie on Discord, and spent a lot of time talking despite our different schedules.
At one point, he suddenly disappeared for two days. I was genuinely worried something had happened to him. Eventually he came back with excuses, I forgave him, and we continued the relationship. After that, things seemed even better. He sent me thoughtful gifts, including something I had mentioned wanting, and even a drawing of me for my birthday.
He also made a lot of effort to come and visit me in Morocco. He had recently lost his job, had family problems, had an upcoming family trip to Italy and was moving to another city, but he still bought a ticket and spent a week with me. We had an amazing time together and, from my perspective, everything felt genuinely good. We didn’t sleep together or anything like that; we simply enjoyed being together.
After he went back to Spain, something gradually changed.
He became distant. At first he would only send “good morning” and then disappear for hours. He stopped asking about my day, how I was doing, or what I was doing. I tried to be understanding because he was travelling, moving to a new city and dealing with family issues, but even after he finally settled down, the distance continued.
One day, he told me “guess what happened,” but then left me waiting for around six hours. Something felt off.
I ended up discovering that he was active on Tinder while we were still together. When I confronted him, he denied it, deflected, and tried to make it seem like I was just looking for an excuse to break up. He even continued acting single to someone else while we were arguing about the relationship.
Eventually, he admitted it and apologized. His explanation didn’t really change anything for me. I told him goodbye and blocked him everywhere, and he blocked me too.
What I genuinely don’t understand is this:
Why would someone make so much effort—spend money on gifts, buy a plane ticket, come to another country to see me, spend a genuinely good week with me—and then slowly pull away and cheat?
Was I simply an option or a backup plan? Did he lose interest but want to keep me around until he found someone else? Or can someone genuinely care about you at one point and still later become capable of betraying you?
I’m not asking because I want him back. I already gave him one chance after he disappeared before, and cheating is a line I won’t accept. I wouldn’t take him back even if he contacted me again.
I’m just wondering whether people like this usually turn the page completely or eventually come back—and if they do, what usually motivates it: loneliness, nostalgia, rejection, boredom, a breakup, disappointment with someone else, or simply wanting attention and validation?
I know nobody can predict whether he personally will come back. I’m more interested in understanding why someone can invest so much in a relationship and then behave this way, and what might have been going on psychologically.