u/Kitchen_Cry5855

Hi ya’ll, I badly need your insights and advice. Female here. I have a partner who is the same age as me. He gets angry very easily, and whenever he does, he becomes verbally abusive and sometimes even physically abusive.

When he’s angry, he says hurtful things that make me feel worthless to the point that I slowly start believing it myself. He knows that he has anger issues. Whenever he calms down or is sober, he apologizes and asks me to help him calm down whenever he gets mad.

I genuinely want to help him, but every time he gets angry, I become overwhelmed, scared, and silent. I honestly don’t know how to calm him down while he’s verbally attacking me. Then he makes me feel guilty for not being able to help him and says that I’m helpless to him because I can’t calm him down during his outbursts.

He also blames me whenever he gets cranky. Even when I make small mistakes or become clumsy, he easily gets irritated and makes me feel like I’m worthless. Sometimes he compares me to his ex and says she was emotionally better than me.

Honestly, I no longer feel like he’s my partner. I feel more like I’m a child being scolded by a mean father — like whenever a child makes mistakes and immediately gets punished or hurt for it. Whenever he’s mad, all I do is stay quiet and apologize, but for some reason, that seems to make him even angrier.

I badly want to hear some insights from you guys because I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

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