u/L0rdIzab3lla

When my wife and I got married we were accepting of our separate traditions and still are. However It's the second time she has proposed the idea of me commiting to
Catholicism . She believes she should go back to her roots , (former catholic) and she would like to do it as a family (with our son) as a Satanist I am currently loyal to my path. I want the connection my wife and I would have with equal practice but I am not willing to throw everything ive worked for out the window. I have and always have had an ideal as to how I will raise my son and live my life. Unapologetically, authentic . I love my wife , her evolution is her own and I cannot wish her to go back to the way she was. It's healthy if anything but almost saddening that I cannot commit fully.

In what others call boy mode. I feel everything tense . I feel like im always ready to fight somebody, adrenaline is surging through
My body constantly. I dont know why . I dont want to hurt anyone and I'm pretty chill and passive but over the years ive learned to keep my guard up and my mouth shut.

It was only recently that i started allowing myself to cross dress and when i did i felt this sensation of peace. I felt like i could unclench my jaw and fists and take up less space. This fluidity I've discovered allows me to transition safely from work to home. Does anyone ele feel something similar?

As a man , Ive pushed myself farther than I thought I would ever go to develop myself . A part of that development is physical development, and well as you know . Men on Estrogen do lose their baseline or so Ive heard. Can anyone tell me what their experience was like as athletes? Or maybe provide some guidance on how I can stop doubting my value as an athlete? I know that even on hormone therapy training others and myself will always be at my core . My brain is just saying that I wont be taken seriously in the field and I may even lose credibility because of my losses.

I love you all , thank you.