u/Large-Opportunity171

1. Age, Gender, Heigh and occupation: 24, Male, 5’6”, Grad Engineer
2. Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect: 21 – 25.
3. Location and are you willing to relocate for a prospect? Living in UK. Not willing to relocate.
4. Nationality: Brit bangladeshi.
5. Marital Status: Single, never married.
6. Ideal marriage timeline: Within a year, In Sha Allah.
7. Religiosity - Sunni Muslim. I'm the type of person who actively revolves my day around the 5 prayers a day. That said, my iman does fluctuate from time to time. Some days I'll be reading Quran, praying my sunnah and tahajjud. Unfortunately there are also days where I'm only able to drag myself to pray the fadr prayers. I'm actively striving to improve myself and have my trust and faith in Allah and His plan.
8. What I'm looking for -

• UK sisters only (open to all ethnicities)
• Ideally hijabi or looking to wear it prior to marriage
• Someone who's understanding and compassionate, knows how to communicate clearly.
• Someone with a clear motivation and drive to improve her connection with Allah.
• Ambitious about her future - this is in family as well as career. I believe that its always good to keep yourself busy, whether it be being the CEO of a company or a primary school teacher.
• Ideally someone shorter than 5'6.

I'm a grounded person who's best described as an ambitious but cool and calm headed guy. I don't tend to freak out when there's a problem and take measured steps towards accomplishing a goal.

One of my passions is to volunteer, especially in islamic settings. I've worked with multiple charities in university and grow multiple non-profit organisations for Muslims across the UK. I would be grateful if I can find a similar ambition towards working for the ummah in a spouse.

Happy to share more but in messages.

If you have read this post in full and wish to communicate, please put down a comment below or dm me at u/Simple-Fly-1448. InshaAllah we can have a meaningful conversation to see if we are compatible.

May Allah connect us with our naseeb. Ameen

Hi Brum mates,

I'm soon moving to Birmingham as I finally landed a job (my first job after uni) and its in the north side of city centre. The cost of both rooms are the same (~600/650pcm) and place wise both has its upsides and downsides. Each will have me take a bus to/from work every day which will be 30/40mins each way.

I went down to the city last weekend for a few house viewings and saw two houses that I liked.

One was in South side of Smethwick near the Edgbaston reservoir. It was in an old 7 people house.

The second is in the northern side of Erdington close to the station. This one seemed better being a 4 person house and the room was a lot more organised.

Any idea which area is better to live in? What to expect in each areas? I'm looking for any advice/opinion on those areas and any suggestions for alternative areas to explore as well as long as its one transport link away and within 40min travel at peak times

Hi Brum mates,

I'm soon moving to Birmingham as I finally landed a job (my first job after uni) and its in the north side of city centre. The cost of both rooms are the same (~600/650pcm) and place wise both has its upsides and downsides. Each will have me take a bus to/from work every day which will be 30/40mins each way.

I went down to the city last weekend for a few house viewings and saw two houses that I liked.

One was in South side of Smethwick near the Edgbaston reservoir. It was in an old 7 people house.

The second is in the northern side of Erdington close to the station. This one seemed better being a 4 person house and the room was a lot more organised.

Any idea which area is better to live in? What to expect in each areas?

**This is my own reflection of my circumstances. Please reserve your judgement and share meaningful comments if you do wish to share your thoughts. Mods please know this isn't ragebait. I'm really looking for some true advice on this matter that's taking me away from Islam**

Assalamua'lykum,

As a brother, I've been looking for marriage for about a year plus now.

Alhamdulillah I've spoken to some really nice sisters across multiple platforms. Unfortunately, most, I'd say 90% of the time the talks have ended when I shared my photo to them.

I'll be honest and upfront, as a child I grew up hearing my mum and grandma saying I'm "the most handsome man" but seeing people from school made me realise that I'm average at best.

Alhamdulillah I don't complain. Allah has made me in the way He knows is best and being a born Muslim brother already puts me higher in the eyes of Allah than many others I share in this world. I cannot count my blessing enough even if I wanted to.

The reason for making this post is I want to bring to light what I feel is an unspoken but definite presence of differentiation by sisters (and brothers too!) with regards to physical beauty of one another when meeting a potential spouse.

I've been rejected on multiple counts by people in my own local community for, the lack of a better term and being completely blant.. dark skinned. It's not happened once, twice, thrice, etc but multiple times to a point where I feel almost isolated by my own community. The same mosque where every uncle knows me by first name terms is outright refusing me as I'm the only dark skinned south asian in the community.

It feels a bit demotivating. I don't want to say that the uncles, aunties and sisters have a vendetta against me or are trying to isolate me. I've heard of everything from "I don't think you're ready" and "I don't think we're ready" to straight to my face that "We're looking for someone who is closer to her" implying to her skin colour.

I'm not here to rant about this issue. I did my research and apparently is more common in the UK than people are willing to admit. I'm just curious if this is something anyone else has faced in the UK or beyond. If so, how did you manage to navigate around it?

I'm not personally fussed about looks. To me, iman, connection to the Quran and sunnah and the life of the prophet PBUH and sahaba are way way more important. My reasoning for bringing up this issue is because before I even get a chance to express my own concerns about marriage I get hit with the quotes mentioned in the title.

The story that made me effectively give up searching in my local community is when apparently some family from the next town heard of me from people in my local masjid. They heard of that so and so is an engineer, regular at the masjid, does volunteering, da da da.... They had a good impression and asked a person from the masjid community to reach out to me, see if I'm open to the idea of marriage. I said yes and had my parents visit their parents so the families could meet and test their compatibility. Involving parents from the get go was something they wanted to do and I was all for it. The parents had a good meeting and both sides seem to be happy to move ahead alhamdulillah. For the second meeting, they asked my parents to come down and the sister was there with her parents this time. I was asked to stay back as it was a meeting for the sister's side to introduce her to my family. Everything went well according to everyone I heard from. My parents and my siblings got to ask a few of my non-negotiable questions to her and overall we're all on the same page. The third meeting is when her parents came down to my parents' house and met me for the first time in the flesh. The meeting started off well but I saw a moment of hesitation from the second I entered the room. They asked me very few questions, perhaps one or two, regarding my job and ability to take care of the sister. I answered according to what I can do and what aligned with what they were looking for but seemingly they didn't look satisfied with the answer. A day or two after the meeting, my parents reached out to them and they didn't seem to reply back. I heard from a mutual friend (a brother who's the nephew of the her parents) that they were saying how I'm quite dark skinned and won't look good standing next to her daughter. Those words hit me like a truck and in the moment, I had a sense of anger and resentment for the family (may Allah forgive me). They had just wasted everyone's time and more importantly, expectation that there was a possibility of something here. It was harder for me to pass this to my parents who were equally blindsided by this reaction from them. I know the photos of me that were shared from Day 1. That is how I look. I didn't share any photoshopped or cleverly lit photos of me.

It's just frustrating to me how families, especially uncles and aunties, are completely fine and happy to see me doing all the right things and playfully teasing me that 'you're old enough now you should start looking into marriage' but at the same time won't be willing to accept me into their families. The two-faced nature of this world, especially in south asian families, is quite demoralising. My experience has also translated to reddit where sisters are routinely happy to accept me for my ISO and personality but quick to dismiss interest after seeing my photos.

I know I'm not in my 30s just yet and so I have my best years ahead of me. However, I am deeply frustrated hearing all this noise telling me to "start looking" whilst they're the ones who are making the process difficult and demoralising.

I've intentionally started praying more at home and less in the masjid because I don't want to distract my mindset from salah and dhikr with these uncles in my ear. I wish I could wear a paper bag and gone to masjid where no one would recognise me. Has anyone else faced such as rhetoric in their community? I would really benefit from any tips and advice.

JazaAllahu khair. May Allah bless everyone in this subreddit.

**This is my own reflection of my circumstances. Please reserve your judgement and share meaningful comments if you do wish to share your thoughts.**

Assalamua'lykum,

As a brother, I've been looking for marriage for about a year plus now.

Alhamdulillah I've spoken to some really nice sisters across multiple platforms. Unfortunately, most, I'd say 90% of the time the talks have ended when I shared my photo to them.

I'll be honest and upfront, as a child I grew up hearing my mum and grandma saying I'm "the most handsome man" but seeing people from school made me realise that I'm average at best.

Alhamdulillah I don't complain. Allah has made me in the way He knows is best and being a born Muslim brother already puts me higher in the eyes of Allah than many others I share in this world. I cannot count my blessing enough even if I wanted to.

The reason for making this post is I want to bring to light what I feel is an unspoken but definite presence of differentiation by sisters (and brothers too!) with regards to physical beauty of one another when meeting a potential spouse.

I've been rejected on multiple counts by people in my own local community for, the lack of a better term and being completely blant.. dark skinned. It's not happened once, twice, thrice, etc but multiple times to a point where I feel almost isolated by my own community. The same mosque where every uncle knows me by first name terms is outright refusing me as I'm the only dark skinned south asian in the community.

It feels a bit demotivating. I don't want to say that the uncles, aunties and sisters have a vendetta against me or are trying to isolate me. I've heard of everything from "I don't think you're ready" and "I don't think we're ready" to straight to my face that "We're looking for someone who is closer to her" implying to her skin colour.

I'm not here to rant about this issue. I did my research and apparently is more common in the UK than people are willing to admit. I'm just curious if this is something anyone else has faced in the UK or beyond. If so, how did you manage to navigate around it?

I'm not personally fussed about looks. To me, iman, connection to the Quran and sunnah and the life of the prophet PBUH and sahaba are way way more important. My reasoning for bringing up this issue is because before I even get a chance to express my own concerns about marriage I get hit with the quotes mentioned in the title.

The story that made me effectively give up searching in my local community is when apparently some family from the next town heard of me from people in my local masjid. They heard of that so and so is an engineer, regular at the masjid, does volunteering, da da da.... They had a good impression and asked a person from the masjid community to reach out to me, see if I'm open to the idea of marriage. I said yes and had my parents visit their parents so the families could meet and test their compatibility. Involving parents from the get go was something they wanted to do and I was all for it. The parents had a good meeting and both sides seem to be happy to move ahead alhamdulillah. For the second meeting, they asked my parents to come down and the sister was there with her parents this time. I was asked to stay back as it was a meeting for the sister's side to introduce her to my family. Everything went well according to everyone I heard from. My parents and my siblings got to ask a few of my non-negotiable questions to her and overall we're all on the same page. The third meeting is when her parents came down to my parents' house and met me for the first time in the flesh. The meeting started off well but I saw a moment of hesitation from the second I entered the room. They asked me very few questions, perhaps one or two, regarding my job and ability to take care of the sister. I answered according to what I can do and what aligned with what they were looking for but seemingly they didn't look satisfied with the answer. A day or two after the meeting, my parents reached out to them and they didn't seem to reply back. I heard from a mutual friend (a brother who's the nephew of the her parents) that they were saying how I'm quite dark skinned and won't look good standing next to her daughter. Those words hit me like a truck and in the moment, I had a sense of anger and resentment for the family (may Allah forgive me). They had just wasted everyone's time and more importantly, expectation that there was a possibility of something here. It was harder for me to pass this to my parents who were equally blindsided by this reaction from them. I know the photos of me that were shared from Day 1. That is how I look. I didn't share any photoshopped or cleverly lit photos of me.

It's just frustrating to me how families, especially uncles and aunties, are completely fine and happy to see me doing all the right things and playfully teasing me that 'you're old enough now you should start looking into marriage' but at the same time won't be willing to accept me into their families. The two-faced nature of this world, especially in south asian families, is quite demoralising. My experience has also translated to reddit where sisters are routinely happy to accept me for my ISO and personality but quick to dismiss interest after seeing my photos.

I know I'm not in my 30s just yet and so I have my best years ahead of me. However, I am deeply frustrated hearing all this noise telling me to "start looking" whilst they're the ones who are making the process difficult and demoralising.

I've intentionally started praying more at home and less in the masjid because I don't want to distract my mindset from salah and dhikr with these uncles in my ear. I wish I could wear a paper bag and gone to masjid where no one would recognise me. Has anyone else faced such as rhetoric in their community? I would really benefit from any tips and advice.

JazaAllahu khair. May Allah bless everyone in this subreddit.

https://preview.redd.it/9rxkqev8jyhh1.png?width=661&format=png&auto=webp&s=f7f01c8c53ca383faf8d41f688bf34d329eb4fe9

Assalamau'alykum,

To the good people of this subreddit who have a brain in their head, please stop giving this guy a microphone when he clearly does not deserve it. He's been in this subreddit for a whole making this outlandish posts which make no sense and has no business in this Islam-oriented marriage subreddit.

He's a self proclaimed 33 year old guy from UAE who's "self employed" and apparently makes "50k-100k". He's apparently "very religious" but at the same time "does not know how to pray".

I don't know if I'm alone in this but I personally find his posts, especially the bottom one on the picture, very revolting and deeply disturbing. A person who has thoughts like this should not be in this subreddit. This is not what Islam is about and I would never expect someone who's even remotely religious in ANY religion to be asking such questions.

I ask actual religious muslims here to stand against these posts and stop giving this guy an ounce of attention. His time clearly deserves in a mosque rather than here.

Hi Birmingham, I'm moving to the city soon and looking for part time jobs beyond a 9-5 day.

I'm open to pretty much anything - from evening work to weekend work. Can be anything from restaurant work to cleaning and warehouse.

My question is, where can I find part time jobs in the city? Are there any agencies that you guys recommend? I need something from September onwards

PS. I'm in my 20s and british citizen. I worked in sales and customer service in previous part time jobs

As it says on the tin, I've been wanting to get a weekend job, one that is immune of these AI nonsense.

I'm from the UK but I'm ethnically brown and fat build. I know from watching people at work that I'm not the target audience for this kind of job. However, I'm hardworking and once I get how something works, I can become good at mastering that skill.

I recently got a job in a big city in the UK. I'd naturally assume that there's a fair bit of construction and bricklaying jobs out there. My question is, how easy would it be to get this as a part time weekend job? I've got a 9-5 but in this economy and as the sole earner of my family, I need to do more if I'm to put enough food on the plate.

Looking through my options, I find this as the best one for long-term growth and investment. I would rot working in McDonalds or cleaning people's toilets. I've spent time looking into bricklaying, not just making this post on a whim.

People in this subreddit seem to have a good head over their shoulders. Please advice on the best way to get into this trade. I've got some savings so I can invest into courses or qualifications I need to get the job.

Assalamu'alykum, this is bit out of the ordinary of a post.

I was speaking to a sister regarding marriage a while ago and one point that she made really stuck with me.

She said to me that one of her biggest fears is that of her future husband cheating or leaving her.

When I first heard it from her I didn't know how to respond to her. I wanted to reassure her but I didn't really know what was the right way to do so. The cliche answer would be to say that I, as a brother, would never do that.

My answer referenced the story of Musa (AS) where he spent years earning the right to the hand for marriage of two sisters. It gave her a sense of assurance and seriousness in my pursuit of marriage.

Is there a clear source of fear for sisters on this regard? Is it common to have these fears? How/What can a brother do to help her overcome it?

Hi all,

I recently did the impossible... I got an entry level job in Birmingham!!

I'm buzzing with excitement and really wish to do well in this. Months of applications finally doing me something good. But its the start of my journey so I'd really appreciate any advice on this subreddit 🔥

1. What are good places to live? My rent budget is about 600 with bills. Happy to live with people. I just wanna be in a safe area that is commutable to city centre
2. Where do most people do their shop? I come from a small village town so most of my shopping has always been in the local farmer's market. That said, I heard big cities have asda, lidl and aldi dotted around so maybe from there? I can't spend more than 150-200 on shopping per month so any recommendations on farmers markets or weekly veg/fruit stalls would be really appreciated.
3. Transport - What's the best? I did my research and learnt that there's a metro that goes around the city but buses are more common typically. Many people drive too but I dont think I can afford a car at this moment.
4. Part time jobs - I'm happy to work anywhere. There's a large potato and egg processing warehouse just on the outskirts of my village so I don't mind working in a similar place outside of my 9-5 job. Happy to work weekends as well. Any recommendations with good warehouses or shops which pay on time and without any faff?
5. Any general advice, tips and tricks, things I should be aware of, would be good. One of my friends told me that there's some beggars in New Street station who walk around with strollers. Told me to avoid them at all cost. Any such advice is also appreciated!

my hobbies are going to libraries, walking in scenic areas, meeting new people, trying new things. I like to try new foods as well. I was recommended to visit Ladypool road to try the burger places

Thanks in advice for all your help. I'll try to reply to as many people as I can

Spoke to the line manager directly about the job. Straight up said that I cannot take the job at this salary and also commit to my personal stuff. (said this last week)

Heard back on friday saying that its possible to take on a role in Birmingham, starting at the birmingham office and moving up to london at the start of the year.

This way I'll have my foot through the door and can do some 'beating around the bush' work (like going around the company and helping out in whatever comes up) then move to london in December/Jan.

I like this prospectus as I feel I can look for a job in the meantime as well.

What do you guys think?
Should I start in birmingham, save about 300 a month and then move to london?
Or should I take the hit now, get stuck in 6 months ahead and go at it from September?

https://www.reddit.com/r/UKJobs/comments/1uo07lm/is_this_job_worth_taking/

PS. I've heard the Birmingham office is shit. They practically do nothing other than management which is not my speciality. So all I'll be doing is passing papers around and twiddling my thumbs

As it says on the title.

I finally landed a grad job but to my dismay its in London. I've always dreaded living in london cuz of all the crimes and thefts and shady stuff I've heard of it.

Long story short, my job is in southwark. My salary doesn't have the london premium and so I can't afford much. Spareroom and Openrent has a few flat shares for £900pcm.

I've heard central is quite expensive but I was looking at further out like Finchley, Edgeware in the North and Bruxton in the south. It those places, I've only found places that cost around £800. I've calculated by costs and it'll add an extra £200 if I live further out to get the underground to work every day. That brings my total to £1100 on just living and travel to work.

From that math, it seems more sensible to just live in a place like Elephant and Castle right?

Londoners, what am I missing?

Also any tips and tricks and general advice on groceries would be helpful - both further out and central.

Thanks all. I'm very lost so please be kind and help a brother out