u/Large_Friendship5632

I'm hurting them on purpose, I don't care, I'm cold and unfeeling, I minimize their emotions, on and on and on.

I can promise I am not intentionally doing any of this and try my best to openly communicate and hear them. Half the time they tell me so much they stop themselves and say, "Idk why I tell you everything! I guess because you're such a good listener."

Is this just a normal part of the development process?? I AM EXHAUSTED.

I'm on the third book and was so pleasantly surprised at this passage in chapter 6:

"Still, he searched the sky, looking for Taurus. Not the prettiest of constellations, but his own. Born under the sign of the bull, stubborn and strong."

I had always known Sam Heughan was a Taurus IRL, but this was such a cool surprise for me as an astrology nerd reading the books. Jamie really does embody Taurus energy to me, and I don't know if it was intentional or coincidence in casting, but I loved that Sam is actually a Taurus too. Caitriona is a Libra, and I'm not sure when Claire's birthday is - does anyone know about either thing (bday or intentional casting)?

Specifically dealing with trauma, teenagers, etc. Thank you!

https://preview.redd.it/e3qmtdbcv8gh1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f3dc333ca39d84d828b73ab4f9f514eb4f91d5

https://preview.redd.it/l2as9czl49gh1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=ea1ed764ccc0aa393a2384f594ff78dd2701cdad

https://preview.redd.it/pnezyl3k28gh1.png?width=570&format=png&auto=webp&s=872e6d59058863e0278b84691d7c8f839ad92801

https://preview.redd.it/07tq2wz438gh1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=0fe235e239b23d6a761511804309a87a92fb7ab3

I'm blue, he's orange. Plus composite

https://preview.redd.it/dk20rn3m9teh1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=b242cecc89df297287d92e3e8526ed0d98534894

Okay - hear me out. I am exploring a new type of relationship structure and BAM this guy suddenly waltzes in. Not only do we share an almost identical chart, we have the same last name (very common in our culture - we aren't related). It feels like a significant turning point for me for a lot of reasons, but what I'm wondering is if anyone has ever experienced this with a partner or even a friend?

It’s really, really hard. I have created a life with minimal triggers and feel the healthiest I ever have, but this has obviously come with some costs, mistakes, boundaries that others don’t like, etc. Some of those things have been unpleasant and hurtful for my child, and we typically have a relationship of open communication where she can express her hurt and anger or any number of emotions and I give her a space to be heard. However, I’m never really prepared for when multiple triggers happen at once and how to take the space I need without rejecting her or repeating cycles I learned from my abusers.

A death happened in the family last week, so more than one source of my trauma was present at the family gatherings. This always sets off a chain of events where my daughter then gets triggered and activated (I think by the boundaries I set around how much time we spend around said people). I can usually communicate calmly and clearly but this week I’ve just been too emotionally exhausted and flooded to do so effectively. She said some incredibly hurtful things that touched on those really core wounds including that I’m narcissistic and all of the pain in her life is my fault, as well as something about hating me and repeating the cycle of wounded women in my family and eventually going no contact with me. She is 15 so she obviously is in a developmental stage of life that is tough, but I don’t have enough of a support system, let alone fellow parents in my life, who can be there for me during these times. So I had her go stay with a friend overnight while I try to process before reuniting. The problem is that I get really stuck in the process because it’s not just one layer of pain, it’s many.

I guess my question is whether anyone can relate to this, and what do you find helpful? I know it isn’t healthy but part of me gets to a point where I’m like okay, would you like to try living with these people im protecting you from? (Meaning her grandma, my mom, who she has a fine relationship with)

Thank you

Specifically tennis if possible. My 15 yo is no longer interested in soccer and really wants to improve her social life. We still haven't formed much of a community in Ventura and I don't know any other parents here. Any suggestions help!

(at the music hall). Thinking about going and possibly getting drinks beforehand if anyone is interested. Solo lady posting!