u/Last_Wonder

My 9wk old baby is mostly breastfed but has a bottle of formula at night. However he is suddenly gagging when I give him a bottle now and I can’t work out why - nothing has changed; same formula, same bottle. We use the Philips Avent bottles which are very slow release so it’s not that, and I’ve been combo feeding with the same formula since birth. When I put some formula on my finger and put it in his mouth, he gags as well so I think it must be the formula. I then tried a different brand with him and the same thing happened.

I don’t make enough breastmilk to exclusively breastfeed so I’m feeling very distressed that he won’t take the bottle. Has this happened to anyone else??

I’ve recently had a baby with my partner, and I’m really struggling with how often his mother is now involved.
During my pregnancy, she had essentially no contact with me (no texts, no visits other than a big group thing once every couple of months, nothing individual with me at all and I’ve been with her son for 7 years). Since the baby was born, her desire for involvement has increased a lot, and now she wants to come over frequently - her preference is daily (absolutely not happening on my watch!) but it’s now twice a week (not my choice, my partner organises it). My partner has started arranging the visits with her directly or suggesting plans after already speaking with her, and I often feel like I’m being informed rather than included in the decision-making. If it were up to me, I’d see her once a week to once a fortnight (like I do my own mother), and even that is a stretch.

When she is here, she tends to hold the baby for most of the visit, and I end up feeling quite sidelined in my own home. I also feel like I’m just watching the clock waiting to get my baby back, which has been building a lot of resentment.

I’ve tried raising that I find the frequency overwhelming and would prefer visits to be more flexible (some weeks none, some weeks maybe once, like we do with my family and everyone else in our life), rather than something that feels structured or expected. This has unfortunately led to arguments.

In those conversations, I’ve been told things like:
this is “normal in his family”, that I don’t even need to be present for visits as long as the baby is there (this one REALLY upsets me, as if I’m going to leave my newborn, I feel disrespected even having this said to me as it shows that these visits arent about supporting me, just holding my baby) and that “boundaries shouldn’t really exist with family”.

When I’ve raised concerns about her poor mobility and safety when she is walking around holding the baby, I’ve been dismissed, including comparisons like “I’ve nearly fallen over too.”

This has started to affect how I feel in my own home, and I’m also finding myself feeling increasingly anxious and resentful, which I don’t want. I now dread her coming over. Am I being unreasonable here, or is this actually a boundary issue that needs to be addressed?

I’ve recently had a baby with my partner, and I’m really struggling with how often his mother is now involved.
During my pregnancy, she had essentially no contact with me (no texts, no visits other than a big group thing once every couple of months, nothing individual with me at all and I’ve been with her son for 7 years). Since the baby was born, her desire for involvement has increased a lot, and now she wants to come over frequently - her preference is daily (absolutely not happening on my watch!) but it’s now twice a week (not my choice, my partner organises it). My partner has started arranging the visits with her directly or suggesting plans after already speaking with her, and I often feel like I’m being informed rather than included in the decision-making. If it were up to me, I’d see her once a week to once a fortnight (like I do my own mother), and even that is a stretch.

When she is here, she tends to hold the baby for most of the visit, and I end up feeling quite sidelined in my own home. I also feel like I’m just watching the clock waiting to get my baby back, which has been building a lot of resentment.

I’ve tried raising that I find the frequency overwhelming and would prefer visits to be more flexible (some weeks none, some weeks maybe once, like we do with my family and everyone else in our life), rather than something that feels structured or expected. This has unfortunately led to arguments.

In those conversations, I’ve been told things like:
this is “normal in his family”, that I don’t even need to be present for visits as long as the baby is there (this one REALLY upsets me, as if I’m going to leave my newborn, I feel disrespected even having this said to me as it shows that these visits arent about supporting me, just holding my baby) and that “boundaries shouldn’t really exist with family”.

When I’ve raised concerns about her poor mobility and safety when she is walking around holding the baby, I’ve been dismissed, including comparisons like “I’ve nearly fallen over too.”

This has started to affect how I feel in my own home, and I’m also finding myself feeling increasingly anxious and resentful, which I don’t want. I now dread her coming over. Am I being unreasonable here, or is this actually a boundary issue that needs to be addressed?

I’m a FTM to an 8 week old little boy that will sleep a 5hr stretch at night, wake for a feed, then sleep on and off for another 3/4 hours…..and virtually never sleeps during the day.

Does this resonate with anyone else? Does anyone know why he doesn’t take day naps and is just…alert, all day. Anyone have any advice on how to fix his sleep?

I’m a FTM to an 8 week old little boy that will sleep a 5hr stretch at night, wake for a feed then sleep on and off for another 3/4 hours…..and virtually never sleeps during the day.

Does this resonate with anyone else? Does anyone know why he doesn’t take day naps and is just…alert, all day.

I’m a FTM with a newborn and I really struggle with watching my MIL with my baby. She’s a nice enough lady, but we aren’t close and I used to only see her at a restaurant for dinner once every 6-8 weeks. Now I’ve had a baby, she wants to be over every day (I’ve put a stop to that) and have managed to get it down to 2 times a week.

I dread the visits, she walks around with my newborn despite having not great mobility, so I’m always on edge she’s going to accidentally fall over or hit baby’s head on a door frame. She also shakes him to “soothe” him which drives me nuts and puts her fingers in his mouth.

My protective instinct goes into overdrive with her around, despite her not really doing anything too wrong and I just feel so relieved when the visit is over.

How can I push down my feelings and not feel so ill with her around? I just can’t shake the anxiety and it’s putting a wedge between my husband and I. He wants her over more often whereas I would want to see her once a week max. My mother used to stay with us when the baby first came home, to help me, but now I only see her once a week.

I’m a FTM with a newborn and I really struggle with watching my MIL with my baby. She’s a nice enough lady, but we aren’t close and I used to only see her at a restaurant for dinner once every 6-8 weeks. Now I’ve had a baby, she wants to be over every day (I’ve put a stop to that) and have managed to get it down to 2 times a week. I dread the visits, she walks around with my newborn despite having not great mobility, so I’m always on edge she’s going to accidentally fall over or hit baby’s head on a door frame. She also shakes him to “soothe” him which drives me nuts and puts her fingers in his mouth. My protective instinct goes into overdrive with her around, despite her not really doing anything too wrong and I just feel so relieved when the visit is over. How can I push down my feelings and not feel so ill with her around? I just can’t shake the anxiety and it’s putting a wedge between my husband and I