u/Leading_Carpenter706

I’d really appreciate some honest outside perspectives.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a while. He has always been incredibly affectionate and always told me I was the most kind-hearted person he’d ever met. I’ve always felt very loved by him.
Recently we’ve been having more arguments and I’m worried my insecurities are damaging the relationship.
One example is sport. He plays a lot of different sports, so he needs to concentrate during games. I like to go to support him, but I struggle if he doesn’t speak to me for a few hours. I feel like I’m only there to watch him, so I start feeling like I’m not important or that he doesn’t love me like he used to.
Sometimes I make comments that he’s not very touchy feely that day or talking to me much, but only because I’m worried.
I know he loves me, and he does acknowledge me but I still find myself needing reassurance.
This morning we argued because I said I feel like I’m always making all the lunches and breakfasts. He’s been quite busy recently. I wasn’t trying to attack him. He apologised and said he does other things around the house, but I carried on because I was frustrated.
He then said he feels constantly criticised and controlled.
He is busy a lot with work, friends and sport - I genuinely do not want to stop him doing those things and I have never told him he can’t go. However, if I say I want him to make effort with me (which he does but I don’t always see it) it makes him feel like he shouldn’t go and like he has to feel guilty for having his own life.
10 minutes before he left for work he hugged me and said he loved me, but when he was leaving he didn’t because he was running late.
I got upset and asked for a hug, kiss and for him to say it again. He got frustrated because he was already late and said he’d already told me. He literally came back to the door and said this was becoming ridiculous. He didn’t say it and he slammed the door.
After he left, I called him and he was really angry. He said I’m controlling him, he feels like he can’t just exist without worrying about upsetting me, and when I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said “I don’t know.”
That really scared me.
I don’t want to control him. I want him to have his own life and enjoy his hobbies. But I’m starting to realise I may be the problem.. I know he loves me, but I still get scared I’m not a priority.
I think I’m trying to control situations, not him.
Am I being controlling without realising it? How do I work on this?

I am 29F and my ferritin levels are critically low (18). I read on NICE guidelines and the NHS website that anything below 30 is a deficiency, and optimal levels should be 50.
But because my haemoglobin is normal, the doctor has said no treatment needed.

My GP also said “I am not sure where you got the information from, The lab considers values above 15 as normal“.

I already take supplements to support my ferritin and they’re clearly not working, but the doctors think that I should just get on with it.

For context, my hair doesn’t grow past my shoulders, I am extremely tired every day, I have lost so much fitness (struggling with breathing) and I have palpitations frequently.

I’ve tried to fight this but nothing is working. I’m at my wits end, can anybody give me any advice?

We had an abortion last year and to be honest I’m still triggered by comments..

12 months ago, my boyfriend and I had been together for 2.5 years. We were 28 and 29. We rent a tiny one bedroom studio flat following us going away travelling, and my boyfriend really struggled to get a job when we got back. So we’d done well to get on our feet and renting.

I unexpectedly got pregnant (i was on birth control) and after lots of discussion we made the painful decision to abort. I was devastated and my bf in particular did not feel financially ready. We were living in our tiny flat, we had very little savings and we don’t have family nearby (we’d have to put the baby straight into childcare). We agreed we definitely want children when we have a bit more put by.

Now we are moving out in a few months, we have more savings and I’m feeling positive.

But recently at work; I’ve been working with a girl who recently came back from maternity leave, and another young girl. They have both made comments over the last few weeks such as:

- how things change when you get pregnant and suddenly you want a baby
\- how time is running out
\- how maybe if we had a baby we’d be more willing to change our living situation
\- the young girl said her boyfriend recently said he’s ready to have kids

Obviously they aren’t aware of my situation.

Has anyone else had the same kind of comments?

I don’t want any judgement please. 12 months ago, my boyfriend and I had been together for 2.5 years. We were 28 and 29. We rented in a tiny one bedroom studio flat following us going away travelling, and my boyfriend really struggled to get a job when we got back. So we’d done well to get on our feet and renting.

I unexpectedly got pregnant (was on birth control) and after lots of discussion we made the painful decision to abort. We were living in our tiny flat, we had very little savings and we don’t have family nearby (we’d have to put it straight into childcare). We agreed we definitely want children when we have a bit more out by.

No judgement re the above please. Now we are moving out in a few months, we have more savings and I’m feeling positive.

But recently at work; I’ve been working with a girl who recently came back from maternity leave, and another young girl. They have both made comments over the last few weeks such as:

- how things change when you get pregnant and suddenly you want a baby
- how time is running out
- how maybe if we had a baby we’d be more willing to change our living situation
- the young girl said her boyfriend recently said he’s ready to have kids

Obviously they aren’t aware of my situation.

Has anyone else had the same kind of comments?