u/LeftGas7546

First off I have been the victim of narcissistic abuse on two occasions previously, one being a parent.

Now, on the third day at a new job, I am attacked by the power tripping and lack of empathy of the new boss. She callously made me cry in front of customers, and one government official, making me actually want to die I was so triggered. I also have depression.

I have Complex PTSD. I was fired by my second to last, and most major employer, 1 1/2 years ago, who I also suspect of narcissism. He was irrationally biased, and had a warped sense of entitlement. And he fired me, his best staff member, all out of a need to dominate and assert power. He felt challenged by me, having been there longer than him and not needing his direction. I think he also simply wanted my hours.

I am afraid now of two things: the reopening of my wounding, after several years of mental health recovery and therapy, and of the utter ruin of my future work life, having this boss as a former employer. I need GOOD references. Not ones with a skewed perspective, and a deep hatred for anyone who stands up for themself.

Should I carry on with a wary eye, and an attitude of 'sticks and stones...', and just say, "Yes, and Okay," a lot,

or... get out while it's still early days, and devote myself to finding a healthy employer. Which really just takes me back to where I was two months ago, before I inquired at this place? It's seasonal work, and I was hired a while ago and have been waiting to start.

Keeping in mind that all the work is seasonal here, and the season has already begun. (Small town, Canada) I do have welfare to fall back on. There are also two other employees for emotional support, so I am not alone in this difficulty. We are all poor and need the work, and all afraid of her. I also feel afraid that she may actually hit me, though I don't know if that's a real or unfounded fear. Boss is OCD as well, and enforces many unsensible details, with her narcissistic domination.

What should I do?

Has this ever happened to you? Full time job, 5 days/wk. I was expecting the normal 8.5 hrs. The coffee breaks contained within the 8 hrs, and the unpaid 1/2 hr lunch added on. Then I start and am told I leave at 5, not 4:30.

I asked the hiring manager what gives, did she not say I would be done at 4:30?, and she says she cannot remember, just that she said there would be clean up after closing at 4:00. That's normal, I start at 8, then I'd be leaving at 4:30.

I know they are allowed (it's legal) to tack the coffee breaks on top of the 8 hrs (unusual), but they have to get my acceptance of that before I start, and they didn't. It's "misrepresentation of job offer". They are now saying working 8-5 is "normal". But I've NEVER had an employer make me stay on site for 9 hrs. Quite put out, and don't know how to handle this, without losing the job.

What to do/say? Without showing my anger and feeling of being taken advantage of?

I was asked today, and it wasn't the first time. I feel increasingly infringed upon when people ask, because I did get a good deal, and I paid with cash (which is kindov obvious as I don't have a job, ie: no mortgage), which makes it a personal financial question. Then they may resent that I had the money, and that I paid so much less than homes are worth around here.

I also am looking ahead to a potential selling of this house, and don't want people knowing how much I gained in the sale! They likely wouldn't understand the investment of time, money, fear, stress and inconvenience I put in to improve it's value, and think I'm price gouging. Also people don't understand that I make money this way as a main financial stream, apart from a career. Most people make money mainly from their career.

I'm not really a house flipper, I stay in a place for 3-5 years, but it IS my fifth house. (I also have a job starting next week)

However, Where I live, house purchase prices for the last 5 years are publicly available online, if anyone wants to look it up, so why hold back saying, if people ask? One person asked because he had considered making an offer it himself, which makes sense, another man asked because he knows how bad a shape it was in, he was my contractor, and wanted to know I didn't overpay, but the man today, I think he was just being nosey or curious. I felt judged, and guilty.

How do you feel about it? Is it rude for people to ask? Are you uncomfortable being asked that, and answering it? Or if you got a deal, are you proud to say?

So I don't know if this is a BPD situation, but I suspect it has something to do with it because I was diagnosed 2 years ago.

I am 52, and fell out with my mother a few years ago. I haven't seen her in 4 years and I don't read her letters. But I do send xmas and birthday cards (mother's day debateable).

I got a birthday card from her and her second husband this year. I wasn't sure she'd send one. It warmed my heart that she did. (It's the only one I'll get)

I opened the birthday card this morning, knowing I was taking a risk in doing so, but I trust her enough to believe she wouldn't taint a birthday card with hostility. It was nice words, but very much about independence and reaching for my dreams. They both signed it. She wrote "We hope", not "I hope", and said she loves me very dearly. And he signed with "Love".

Then there's a cheque, and a slip of paper that says "He" wanted to send me $100., so here it is from both of us "enjoy". She only sent money because HE wanted to. She wanted me to know that. Then on the flip side of the slip of paper, at first I thought it was scrap paper, reused, but no, it said, that next time I come to town, I do have to see her because I need to sign the power of attorney in front of her and the notary. But I already did that, six years ago. It's like, you only get money if you see me this year. But thing is, I don't think I want to be her power of attorney any more.

I don't know if I'm triggered by how my father used to be, (conditional love, and plenty of punishment for misbehaviour) , or if I'm being childish for refusing to confront her, or just plain being manipulated? I know confrontational letters can backfire, and end up in court, so I'm avoiding that. (I sued my half sister for a variation on my father's will). I feel disrespected though. Like she really doesn't get it. Thinks I'm being rude.

$200. is nice, but it's not going on enjoyment, I owe tens of thousands. It doesn't even cover one month's credit card debt interest. I'm really just living in denial right now when it comes to finances. My Mom's done a lot for me in the past, me and my ex. Fallen out with him too.

Very lonely birthday. I don't like birthdays any more. They're just a day to prove how unimportant I am. :' (

So do you think all this is because of BPD?