u/Leo_617

*I'm not from the USA, or even from an English-speaking country, so 1. This may contain errors; I'm using a very basic translator. 2. For some reason, two levels of education in my country appear as "High School." The first is "Secundaria" (ages 12-15), and the second is "Preparatoria" (ages 15-18). I think it's helpful to clarify this.

*This might sound silly, since I myself doubt it was SA. I don't mean to disrespect anyone, just to improve my understanding. If anything said here is offensive or hurtful to anyone, I apologize. It's NOT intentional; I just want to understand better.

I don't even know if I'd call it sexual assault; it feels exaggerated, but it seems that's what it was, at least according to friends I've told. In my first year of secondary school (I was 12 or 13), a classmate kept talking about my butt in a sexual way. I know it's fairly common in my country for young people to make jokes or suggestive remarks to each other, but we weren't really friends; I didn't like him.

I think I remember (and my memory isn't good, especially back then; it's too fuzzy and full of gaps) one day he made a particular comment. I don't remember exactly what it was (but it was along the lines of what happened before), but I know I got angry and tried to stab him with a pen. He stopped my arm and mocked me a bit, wondering how I could hurt someone. In the end, no one was hurt.

And another memory I have, I don't know if it was from the same moment or another, I know he pinched and touched my butt several times, but once it was very close, with the guy pressed right in front of me and both hands there, I pushed him away. (This is where I get confused, I don't know if my attempt to stab him was related or separate.)

And then, nothing. I guess I never told any teachers or my parents anything. I'm not sure why; I just filed it away. We went into the pandemic, and I came back for junior year. I got along better with him; he was part of a group with my only friends from school.

I went through all of high school without thinking much about it.

Back in college (at 17), talking to a friend who was also a victim (and I'm SURE I believe him), I don't know why the topic came up, but I thought about it, and I cried and got really angry...

And now, at 18, I don't think about it often. I THINK it hasn't affected my sexuality, not consciously at least. When I think about it, I don't feel anything, truly nothing.

And all this feels like I'm exaggerating, and I'm even embarrassed to ask here, but my friend believes it was sexual assault, and I still can't stop thinking that trying to stab him means something (I'm not a violent person, I should clarify), but I don't know. It doesn't seem to have affected me that much. I never complained at the time, and I was even able to talk to him afterward.And let's not even talk about my broken memory full of assumptions and "I think I remember". And let's not even talk about my broken memory full of assumptions and "I think I remember".

Any suggestions, questions, or input are welcome. Thank you for giving me some of your time.

Note: I'm using a digital translator. If any expression is unclear or, worse, even offensive, I apologize and would appreciate any corrections, but I ask for your patience.

I won't delve into the situation, out of respect for that person. To give some general context, someone I care about deeply was a victim of rape. She hasn't reported it, and I don't think she will; the justice system in my country is a disgrace, and I understand her.

The thing is, we had serious problems regarding this, since her attacker was a mutual friend (strong emphasis on WAS), and it was difficult for me to cut ties with him. My friend told me she wanted me to try to understand how she felt about the whole situation. Many in our circle don't believe her and haven't distanced themselves from the attacker, and it bothers me that I took to long to do so.

The thing is, I've tried to investigate, to learn more, but almost everything I've found is from academic, psychological, or philosophical perspectives. And I want to ask people who have been through this, about their experiences and things like: What aspects of being a victim of sexual abuse do you think most people don't understand, or misunderstand, and wish they understood better? What's the best thing someone can do to support a victim? What should someone avoid when trying to help a victim? All of this is so I can be a good friend and help him, because I truly love him and just want to help him cope better with an experience I know is horrific.

That's why I'm asking, and I appreciate any information, experiences, or suggestions you can give me.

Thank you for your time.

I reread A Wizard of Earthsea for the third time in two years. I was less amazed by the parts of the adventure with Yevaud and in Osskil, but on the other hand, I identified more with his fight against the shadow. I had some ideas about this that I wanted to comment on.

I know that Le Guin's stories aren't analogies, metaphors, or allegories; they're simply stories (I read this in the prologue to A Fisherman of the Inland Sea), so I'm not presenting this as the truth, just my interpretation here and now, which may change.

Not long ago, I discovered that mages aren't paranoid; words must be carefully chosen, because an unconsidered word can cause immense destruction. I've done it myself; I've deeply hurt someone by speaking without thinking, which isn't unlike what Ged did at Roke Knoll.

Ged caused Nemmerle's death, and I deeply hurt a friend. And although they aren't on the same level, I can see that both are irreparable wounds. And that too—a phrase of Ged's that goes something like, "I won't undo what I've done, I'll just finish what I've started"—I still don't know how to apply it, but I've understood that: the damage isn't undone; you go on living after it, without forgetting it, but without being bound to it.

I interpret Gebeth as suicidal thoughts, guilt, and pain. As long as it doesn't reach Ged, it will be a threat to him, but if it does, it will be a danger to many. I think of it somewhat like suicide; as long as I don't act on it, these thoughts only cause me suffering, but if it happens, many more will suffer because of it.

Going out to face the shadow would not be throwing oneself into those desires, but rather accepting that they exist and that they must be dealt with (I have denied this for a very long time, for various reasons), not running away from them but accepting them and trying to transform them.

I think of Gensher scolding Ged when he says he should have died.

And I suppose that Ged naming his shadow at the end of the book is a way of accepting that guilt and pain as entirely his own. And so, a man who can connect healthily with guilt and remorse would truly be someone who would never submit to another power, a free man.

Don't take me too seriously; I'm just a stupid, somewhat depressed teenager who's done things he regrets. I guess I'm just projecting myself onto my favorite character. This reread sparked some ideas and taught me things again, And if Ged could reconcile with his shadow, so can I. c:

Así que pues aja, tengan en consideración que tengo presupuesto de estudihambre así que no me quejo de opciones accesibles. Y supongo que no sobra añadir que si son sitios seguros (en cuanto, que no hay discriminación o agresiones) siendo persona de la comunidad LGBT, pues mejor.

Añado la aclaración de que de preferencia en la zona centro o sur, o lugares que queden cerca del metro o quizá del metrobus.

De antemano gracias

Notice. Please don't be aggressive if something I ask or say seems silly or unpleasant. If so, it's genuine ignorance, and I'd appreciate any corrections. I'm somewhat unfamiliar with these topics.

When I first read The Dispossessed, in the episode with Shevek and Vea, I didn't think about abuse. I admit that was partly because I was somewhat absorbed in other parts of the novel (and I admit I was more focused on Shevek's drunken and confused experience than on his actions).

Then I came across this forum and saw that it was described as attempted sexual abuse. I looked it up again and I think I understand why they say that; I think they're right, although it still bothers me. I'm not sure why (maybe I'm justifying Shevek because he was drunk?). I wanted to talk about it, listen, and understand. Perhaps expand on it to other works.

I recently read A Man of the People (Four Paths to Forgiveness) and I was disgusted by a certain scene near the end. Reading Ursula's comments about Tehanu, I seem to recall her mentioning that the men who tried to enter Ogion's old house were trying to abuse Tenar and/or Tehanu, something that didn't occur to me when I read the novel.

I'm not trying to trivialize anything; I simply want to hear other opinions, both regarding The Dispossessed and Ursula's work in general. Thank you for your understanding.

I've loved Estarriol since the first time I read it. I mean, I identify more with Ged (a foolish boy who grows into a good man, albeit still a fool), but Estarriol is my aspiration, the friend I want to be.

Since Roke School, he looked after and helped Ged, even though he was somewhat foolish. And although accompanying Ged on his crusade was probably a bit irresponsible toward his people, as a friend he's unbeatable—that loyalty, courage, and prudence. I love him. The fact that Ged (and Ursula herself) thought of him in his final days is both beautiful and a little sad, because I would have loved to see him one more time, perhaps accompanying Ged to the dead world in The Farthest Shore, or visiting him during Tehanu or The Other Wind.

I just wanted to express my affection for Ursula's characters, one in particular. Any other expositions of beloved characters (preferably non-protagonists) are welcome.

So, I was straight, although I'd had some curious thoughts.

Then, I started watching porn at 13, and the usual story: increasingly varied content. I even saw the trans category (which I now know is disgusting in its fetishization) and then gay porn, and I started fantasizing about it.

Now I consider myself bisexual and I have doubts about my sexual identity.

I've had a boyfriend and I really liked him. I'm attracted to both men and women. These feelings are genuine, I mean, they go beyond addiction, but it bothers me to feel that part of it is related to my addiction, and it sometimes makes them feel fake or inappropriate, and that bothers me.

I don't know, I don't know if I should seek advice. I guess I'm just curious if other people have felt something like this.

I suppose this might be a common question, but I'd be interested to know what's been said about the sensation of drowning. What does it feel like to drown? Is there a difference between fresh and salt water? What does it feel like after surviving a drowning?