u/Letting-Go5656

Found out in February of this year wife cheated on me. Blew up my world, like it does. We had been going back and forth for several months if we are going to work it out or split up.Seeing couples counseling and individual. She was sorry and remorseful at first, probably sorry she got caught. Then, like a textbook case, started the blaming, more lying, manipulating, rewriting the history of our marriage and gaslighting. I went down the rabbit hole of possibilities of staying or leaving. Finally about a month and a half ago she decides one of us needs to move out. I agreed. But said I’m not going anywhere. She chose to leave, to heal, she says. Then a week before moving out, prior to us telling the kids (two adult, one 14 year old) she asks if this could possibly be a temporary move. We could work on the marriage with more counseling. Maybe get back together in six months. That’s what she wants to tell the kids. She moves. Kids tell her she’s running from problems. They barely want anything to do with her, which is fucking terrible in and of itself. They know nothing of the cheating. Only that Mom and Dad are working on their marriage. Three days out of the house, she tells me that she’s already thriving and wants a divorce. A week out from leaving the house, she lets us all know she has a guy friend that comes over. I know what’s up. The kids aren’t stupid, they know. Right now, after going through all the traumatic shit from the infidelity, I’m more angry than anything. Angry the kids have to put up with this. Angry she lied and manipulated on her way out of the house. Older kids are pretty much done with her, very upset about her already hooking up with some dude and he spends the night there. Youngest is angry, sad etc. I really want the divorce too now, no other option. Decided I will not seek out dates or hookups til divorce is done, or at least end in sight. Kids rely on me to be the stable, consistent one. So I will be. But what the fuck!! How can people be so fucking selfish and turn into a completely different person. It’s surreal. Ok. Done.

Found out in February of this year wife cheated on me. Blew up my world, like it does. We had been going back and forth for several months if we are going to work it out or split up.Seeing couples counseling and individual. She was sorry and remorseful at first, probably sorry she got caught. Then, like a textbook case, started the blaming, more lying, manipulating, rewriting the history of our marriage and gaslighting. I went down the rabbit hole of possibilities of staying or leaving. Finally about a month and a half ago she decides one of us needs to move out. I agreed. But said I’m not going anywhere. She chose to leave, to heal, she says. Then a week before moving out, prior to us telling the kids (two adult, one 14 year old) she asks if this could possibly be a temporary move. We could work on the marriage with more counseling. Maybe get back together in six months. That’s what she wants to tell the kids. She moves. Kids tell her she’s running from problems. They barely want anything to do with her, which is fucking terrible in and of itself. They know nothing of the cheating. Only that Mom and Dad are working on their marriage. Three days out of the house, she tells me that she’s already thriving and wants a divorce. A week out from leaving the house, she lets us all know she has a guy friend that comes over. I know what’s up. The kids aren’t stupid, they know. Right now, after going through all the traumatic shit from the infidelity, I’m more angry than anything. Angry the kids have to put up with this. Angry she lied and manipulated on her way out of the house. Older kids are pretty much done with her, very upset about her already hooking up with some dude and he spends the night there. Youngest is angry, sad etc. I really want the divorce too now, no other option. Decided I will not seek out dates or hookups til divorce is done, or at least end in sight. Kids rely on me to be the stable, consistent one. So I will be. But what the fuck!! How can people be so fucking selfish and turn into a completely different person. It’s surreal. Ok. Done.