u/Life-Willow-6745

It is me, my bf (together for 1.5 years), his sister and her husband (together for a decade) who live in a house that we rent. We all work except his sister. He has said that his dream was to take care of his family financially. He pays majority of rent and utilities, he makes majority of the money. His brother in law is not the best with money but he pulls through most of the time, me and him both work service jobs. His sister usually cooks dinner.

From the get go I was very weary of his sister's unemployment. She's been unemployed for years. She has had medical issues that caused her to be unemployed, but she is completely fine now and I think as his big sister it is odd that she doesn't help monetarily, or isn't actively trying to find a job. He says that she helps with dinners, but she likes to cook and when she doesn't want to, she won't.

I've mentioned to him that this dynamic makes me uncomfortable and it seems really unfair. He agrees but because she used to take care of him (their mother was an irresponsible drunk) he wants to repay her (his dream). He has also acknowledged that there comes a time where he will need to prioritize me as his family. I've said that I would want us to move out together at some point, and he seemed into the idea but very hesitantly and brought up how we need roommates bc living is expensive. His sister not working contradicts that for me, and in the past his brother in law would be super inconsistent with rent so my bf had to keep up with all costs.

His sister is his best friend pretty much and I know there is also some codependency that is happening and he has also acknowledged it. Their emotions very much depended on one another and can easily tick each other off and ruin moods.

Today he told me he did the math and divided all expensive by 4 (which would mean I would need to pay almost half more than I do already) and that we didn't have to talk about it right away. I just felt uncomfortable considering how he is paying his sister's portion and he makes more money than us, idk. Everything feels touchy bc of his "dream" and it being family. I've considered living alone, but I'm worried that would come off harshly and I love living with him. I told him I was willing to pay more, but I was just annoyed the more I thought about it.

I think about the aspect of a community and how she cooks a lot for us, but I don't know if that's me trying to justify something regardless of how I actually feel. Am I being too harsh? Is there a proper way I can go about this with him? Sometimes I think it's his money he can do whatever with it, but I also don't think he's helping his sister be financially independent. I need proper advice and opinions please.

This is my first relationship and first time I've moved out.

He stopped smoking weed after 10 years straight smoking multiple times a day recently. Before we got into our relationship he told me he'd smoke less and it didn't seem to get better, until he got hyperemesis and stopped completely. It's been a few months now and he's been good. What turned into a beer here and there, is now a drink every night and slowly is becoming 3 a night. He thinks I'm overreacting because it's only sometimes he'll have more than one drink, but it's becoming more regular. Today my mom had to put down her kitten because of health issues and immediately he wanted to drink because of it. It just felt like he was using this as an excuse to drink. I don't know what to do. He's reassured me he's fine and he isn't drinking enough to be considered an alcoholic and even if that were true, how am I supposed to be confident he isn't slipping. He deals with depression and anxiety, hence the heavy weed usage. Is it normal to have 1-2 drinks a day?

We started off having lots of sex, but the more time goes on, the less we have sex. Been together for over a year. I have a higher libido than him. He reassures me that he is sexually attracted to me, but he told me that it's too much effort sometimes and him not showering as frequent has to do with it too. I think what makes me feel bad is knowing he still masturbates and watches porn. I get that masturbation can be from boredom, but it's hard not to take it personal.

I guess another ssue is that when he is at home (works from home) he can satisfy himself, without effort, and I don't get much alone time to masturbate bc he is always home and I'm at work (we live together). It makes me feel insecure that I'm too much effort in sex with him. He makes sexual jokes and comments throughout the day so it gets me excited, but then he doesn't initiate and I get tired of initiating, it makes me feel like he doesn't want me.

I want to be there for him and not pressure him to have sex, but he knows this is something that gets to me. I'm worried this will only be an issue that gets worse.

Context: he deals with addiction, recently stopped smoking weed, but started picking up drinking a bit. He used to be addicted to porn, but he says he has stopped quite a bit after I made him realize he had a problem

I have this thing where I stink like onion when I sweat after awhile, especially when I wear something baggy that had my thighs rubbing together. It seems like it's the outside and not inside? I kiss my bf after he eats me out it tastes like garlic/onion, he says he doesn't find an issue.

I have this thing where I stink like onion when I sweat after awhile, especially when I wear something baggy that had my thighs rubbing together. It seems like it's the outside and bot inside? I kiss my bf after he eats me out it tastes like garlic/onion, he says he doesn't find an issue.