r/ModernFamilyFinance

I understand why child support enforcement exists. Children need support, and missed payments matter. But the way the system works sometimes feels like it only recognizes failure. Miss a payment, and there are consequences. Fall behind, and it can hurt your credit.

But pay consistently for years, even through automatic wage garnishment, and there’s usually no positive payment history attached to it. That feels outdated. If someone is doing the right thing every month, shouldn’t that count for something financially?

I’m curious if people would support a system where child support payments could create positive credit history instead of only showing up when things go wrong.

This might be controversial, but I think there’s a real argument for child support payments being reported positively when someone pays consistently.

If someone is paying every month, especially through wage garnishment, that shows recurring financial responsibility.

Right now the system mostly seems to punish missed payments, but it doesn’t reward consistency. That creates a system where people only feel the consequences, not the benefit of staying current.

A credit boost for child support payments could make the system feel less one-sided.

Would that help, or would it create new problems?

If you have your child contribute $3,000 per summer contribution to a Roth IRA for 5 years to grow at 10% how much is it worth when they 70yo? How much will that 15k change your child's life? Don't blame the system when you aren't using it.

I’m a 30-year-old self-employed woman who has fully stepped away from traditional full-time employment to build my own business. Recently, I’ve been genuinely curious about a question that lingers in my mind: do men truly care a lot about a woman’s financial situation when they are in a romantic relationship?

I want to clarify my personal situation to make this question more specific. I have always been an independent person in relationships. I never ask my partner to buy me expensive gifts, cover my daily expenses, or support my life in any way. I have stable personal savings accumulated over years of hard work, and right now, I am wholeheartedly building and growing my own business on my own terms. And I pay the bills sometimes.

I made a brave choice to quit my stable office job to pursue entrepreneurship. There is no denying that the initial stage of starting a business is incredibly tough. Every new venture comes with inevitable struggles: unstable income, endless trivial work, constant pressure to explore markets, and countless hours of dedication with no immediate rewards. This is a universal challenge for every entrepreneur, and I have fully prepared myself for these hardships. But I still have a lot of time to put in a relationship.

Honestly, my current financial life is almost no different from when I was a salaried employee. I can fully afford my daily spending, maintain my quality of life, and keep growing my savings steadily. I do not rely on anyone financially, nor do I have any intention of leaning on a partner for material support.

What I really want to figure out is men’s true perspective. For women like me—financially independent, self-sufficient, running our own businesses, and never placing financial burdens on our partners—do men view this as an advantage, a neutral factor, or even a deterrent in a relationship? I wonder how most men perceive self-made, career-driven women who choose to build their own life instead of seeking financial reliance from a romantic partner.

If you say you need to “put it all in one pot and take out money for bills” i understand if that works for you, but I do not subscribe to that method. I have student loans/debt I’d like to keep my responsibility. I have my own method of budgeting/saving and so does my husband. We are satisfied with keeping our finances separate. We never argue about bills, it has never been an issue. I’m not posting here because we are unhappy, I’m posting for feedback/perspective.

So some background, Husband (M28) works part time (20-30hrs/week) in fast food and makes around $27,000/year net and I (F30) work full time remote at a consulting firm and make $54,000/year gross but $39,000/year net. Husband has no healthcare (he pays cash when needed, and actually spends less than I do) and limited benefits. I have full benefits (26 days PTO, 401k, healthcare, etc)

Shared bills - rent and internet 50/50, food like 30/70(i buy the most groceries a month @ around $100/week ) car repairs 50/50 (husband uses my car 5 days a week for work, also sometimes gives family rides, I use it occasionally on weekends or to go to the gym, but I paid the car off completely in 2024)

Separate bills - husband covers 100% utilities (approx $300/month) Any debt he accrues he pays himself (not much, he’s super frugal) his mom pays his phone bill.

I cover 100% car insurance (only like $60/month) my phone bill (only $20/month) and my debt - $28,000 in student loans- payments to start soon and $5000 in credit card debt (0% interest so it will be paid before the end of this year) I pay $46/month for gym membership for both of us

Do you think this is a pretty fair split? (I thought so, but am open to feedback)

As for savings, he saves aggressively. I save less aggressively, mainly because knocking out debt is my goal.

TLDR: husband (28M) works part time and makes \~ $10,000 less NET than me (30F) working full time yet we split bills pretty evenly because I have debt.
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Growing up I was taught by my old man that whatever you earn is your own secret and people should not know. You should just make sure you provide. He also told me that as a man you should make sure you pay the rent even if you're very broke. He also insisted most of the things in the house should be yours.

Yesterday, while I was walking going to go to the matatu so I could go home, I was accompanied by a colleague. He is in his early 40s and what surprised me is that he said, at that age he only had 5 body counts. He said he was a late bloomer and alcohol was his thing. Not women.

He then told me that after we had finished this project, he and his wife would combine their money and continue building their house. They both knew their salary and they would combine it to do that. He always talks about his wife every time and he talks positively about her.

I then told him I don't like people knowing my salary and I always want to do solo projects with my money. I'm not a fan of joint projects. He then told me if I marry then I'll change my mind.

When I reached home, I asked my uncle and he told me it's a good idea to share what you earn with your wife. He meant that your salary should be known by your wife and you should know her salary. He said that it builds trust within the homestead. "A relationship should be built on trust", he concluded

We argued for a bit. We had a 2 hour debate about that topic. I told him, that I'd prefer to be called toxic but my hard earned money is mine and I wouldn't want anyone to plan for me how to use my money. I also argued that if your wife knows your salary she'll plan for you your money till the last cent.

Then, they brought in the topic of what if her brother is sick... I then told them that what happens to the brother of my wife is the parents and siblings main issue. I'm the secondary person in that matter.

We talked a lot of stuff that if I type all this post might be too long. So what do you think? I'm open to criticisms too. Should your salary be known by your wife/husband?

Guys, i want to know who is actually called the head of the family, the one is who completely managing the entire household chores, payments, and every bit of it or the one who is retired, doing nothing, contributing nothing?

Location: Los Angeles, CA
A client who attempts to guilt or manipulate their In-Home Supportive Services worker into giving them money from their paychecks.

Is this considered financial coercion? I ask because I was told that IHSS aren't suppose to give their clients money from their checks.

If a person is staying with his wife and kid in his parents home with the advantage of WFH facility, should he pay rent to his parents? Discuss Moral part only I know someone would say saving on tax by this. Btw Brother living in different city and sister living in different country has the opinion that rent should be paid. The moral responsibility is also with this guy to take care of parents as they cannot stay near to parents. What do you guys say?

Edit: Details of approx expenses: 1.4L salary, 30k goes to grocery and nutrition supplements expenses of the whole family being paid by Son. Father pays 4k veggies and 5k electricity bill. OP multiplied his parents wealth by 2.5x which no other sibling did. This 2.5x if compared to salary, the salary OP earns is 1% only and doesn't take any commission for his free service.

I’ve always seen the 3–6 month rule for emergency funds, but I’m starting to think that doesn’t fully apply once you factor in childcare.

When I added everything up monthly, childcare alone made a big difference in what 6 months actually looks like.

Curious if other parents are adjusting their emergency fund targets because of this?

Are you:

- sticking to 3–6 months?

- going higher?

- or handling it differently?

Background: College grad who lived outside state back home working two jobs part time, and a high school graduate last year, who worked part time but is now unemployed. We have been taking care of their finances 100% in order for them to save up the money they do earn to live on their own someday.

My DH (53) and I DW (53) work full time at a long-standing job with at least four to six more years until retirement. After that, we plan to sell our home and move out of state.

We need to prioritize our health as we are facing new (manageable) health conditions. We are being mindful to include regular exercise, regular doctor visits, medications, supplements, and taking care of our mental health by maintaining friendships, including occasional hosting (once a month), and occasional date nights.