u/Limp_Fisherman_5286

This started maybe 6 weeks ago and I don’t know what switch flipped.

Before, he would push boundaries in the usual toddler way. Like he’d do something he wasn’t supposed to do and kind of hope we didn’t notice. Now he does it while looking right at me.

Last Tuesday he picked up the TV remote, which he absolutely knows he’s not supposed to touch, stared at me, and put it in his mouth. Not even because he wanted it. It felt like he was just checking what version of me was showing up that day.

Yesterday he climbed onto the coffee table, saw me looking, and just kept going. We stared at each other for a few seconds and honestly I think he had more confidence than I did.

I know this is normal toddler stuff. I know he’s testing limits and figuring out what happens. I know I’m supposed to stay calm and be consistent.

But man, it is weirdly harder when they’re making eye contact while doing the exact thing you just said not to do.

My wife thinks it’s funny. I’m trying to get there.

I have 2 kids, 4 and 1, and I’m trying to figure out if I’m just too easy to influence when my kid gets really into something. We have enough toys. Like, objectively enough. I’m not even going to pretend we’re lacking in that area.

But my 4 year old will suddenly get obsessed with a certain kind of play. Right now she's into magnets and building things, whatever she can find, and I keep looking at this magna-tiles, tix and mix play set because it seems like something she'd actually use. I don't do this constantly, but every now and then I'll buy something because it fits whatever phase they're in.

Do you usually save toys for birthdays and holidays, or do you sometimes buy things just because they match what your child is interested in at the moment?

I have 2 kids, 4 and 1, and I’m trying to figure out if I’m just too easy to influence when my kid gets really into something. We have enough toys. Like, objectively enough. I’m not even going to pretend we’re lacking in that area.

But my 4 year old will suddenly get obsessed with a certain kind of play. Right now she's into magnets and building things, whatever she can find, and I keep looking at this magna-tiles, tix and mix play set because it seems like something she'd actually use. I don't do this constantly, but every now and then I'll buy something because it fits whatever phase they're in.

Do you usually save toys for birthdays and holidays, or do you sometimes buy things just because they match what your child is interested in at the moment?

I looked back at what we spent on toys this year and immediately wished I had not done that. My 3 year old has plenty. Probably too much. The funny part is that the things that helped her play more independently were not really new toys. It was more about how the space was set up.

I used to leave most things out because I thought more choices would help. It mostly just led to her pulling everything out, touching each thing for 10 seconds, and then walking away. Now we leave fewer things available and it seems easier for her to actually start playing instead of just sorting through stuff.

The second thing was giving certain toys a real spot instead of tossing everything into one big basket. When something has a place, she seems to remember it exists. When it is buried under 30 other things, it may as well be gone.

The last thing was moving one activity off the floor. We had a magnetic wall board that had been sitting unused for months because it was tucked away and honestly I forgot about it too. Once we put it somewhere she could actually see and reach, she started using it way more.

None of this was a huge makeover. I just moved things around and put fewer things in front of her at once. Kind of annoying that the answer was not “buy better toys” after I had already bought the toys, but here we are.

I looked back at what we spent on toys this year and immediately wished I had not done that. My 3 year old has plenty. Probably too much. The funny part is that the things that helped her play more independently were not really new toys. It was more about how the space was set up.

I used to leave most things out because I thought more choices would help. It mostly just led to her pulling everything out, touching each thing for 10 seconds, and then walking away. Now we leave fewer things available and it seems easier for her to actually start playing instead of just sorting through stuff.

The second thing was giving certain toys a real spot instead of tossing everything into one big basket. When something has a place, she seems to remember it exists. When it is buried under 30 other things, it may as well be gone.

The last thing was moving one activity off the floor. We had a magnetic wall board that had been sitting unused for months because it was tucked away and honestly I forgot about it too. Once we put it somewhere she could actually see and reach, she started using it way more.

None of this was a huge makeover. I just moved things around and put fewer things in front of her at once. Kind of annoying that the answer was not “buy better toys” after I had already bought the toys, but here we are.

Working from home with a baby is weird because I see him all day and somehow still feel like I’m missing things.

The first few months felt like the same day over and over. Bottles, diapers, naps, no sleep, me trying to type with one hand.

Then one day he was smiling at me. Then rolling. Then crawling straight toward the one thing in the room he should not touch. Now he pulls himself up and looks at me like he pays rent here.

It’s exhausting, but it also catches me off guard. I’ll finish work and see him doing something new and think wait, when did you learn that?

I keep trying to remind myself that sitting on the floor with him for 10 minutes counts. Even if he mostly ignores me and plays with a sock.

I used to think daycare pickup meant we were just moving on to the next part of the day.

Come home, take shoes off, wash hands, maybe start dinner, maybe ask how her day was. Normal stuff.

But my 3 year old would come home already tired and somehow wired at the same time. If I asked too many questions, she’d snap. If I tried to start dinner right away, she’d be under my feet. If I turned the TV on too fast, getting her off it later was a whole separate problem.

Lately I’ve been trying to treat the first 20 minutes after daycare like a landing zone instead of expecting her to just switch modes instantly.

Shoes off, snack, water, a little space, and something quiet nearby if she wants it. Sometimes she talks, sometimes she just stares into space like a tiny office worker after a bad meeting.

It has not fixed the evening completely, but it made me realize I was expecting a lot from a 3 year old who had already been on all day.