u/Limp_Vacation3486

I posted this also in the Warhammer40k Reddit, but people there weren't too kind :c

So, I have read the first two books of Eisenhorn and "For the Emperor" of Ciaphas Cain. I love the whole lore, especially the Astra Militarum.
I'm studying translation right now, but I also want to become a writer someday, or at least try it.

The story I've been thinking to write is about a Commissar. The story, however, starts with an Imperial soldier that has... certain heretical ideals about every life-form being equal and opposing war. He ends up being executed from fleeing the battlefield, and the story then turns to the commissar. I want to write him having in mind someone like Caesar, Belisarus, or Adrian Carton de Wiart. He will be the kind of character that starts from nothing and ascends, with difficulty, through the ranks of the imperium out of his strong will. Of course I'll try to make jokes or use humour.

Obviously the Commissar, who won't be commissar for long, will have a personality, not the kind of "I'm stronk and assertive, Commissar da biggest and da strongest".

My question, though, is: would you read something like this? It will be all of my own, and English is not my first language (I'd rather die than using AI) but I love to read and write.
BTW, this is not a selling post, I just want to know whether it is a good idea.

Love is not for me. I'm a 20 year old man. Some months ago the moment I saw a couple on the street I used either to curse, or to just imagine myself with a girlfriend, but some weeks ago everything just stopped. I remember wishing vividedly and passionately for a partner, and I have tried many times to have one and I was just left dissapointed. I haven't even had my first kiss! Let alone other things.
Some weeks ago I just noticed that I stopped caring. I'm someone who became extremely focus on oneself: exercise, reading, studying, and all types of improving. I'm not ashamed of saying that I'm perfect as I'm now and I'm really proud of myself.
Still, I got to a point in my life when even the mention of "love" sparks an inner laugh for me, I suddenly started to refuse love. My parents love rom-coms and everything romance-related and every time they want to play one of those films my refusal is complete. It isn't something that escalated and I planned or willed. It just happened from night to morning. I stopped caring about couples, and I even stopped imagining myself in a relationship. Nowadays whenever I think about anything like that it ends up in lust (if you know what I mean) but no more than that.
I don't even feel this refusal as a loss, I just don't feel I lost an important part of myself.
Could it be for all the dissapointment I passed through? Probably. The experiences I had were horrible and the experiences I wished to have with girls that were extremely compatible with me never happened because they were/are in a relationship.
What has become of me? Is this my version of love? Or I lack of it? Is it because since I haven't experience a relationship I fear that after having one and failing I wouldn't get over it?

Love is not for me. I'm a 20 year old man. Some months ago the moment I saw a couple on the street I used either to curse, or to just imagine myself with a girlfriend, but some weeks ago everything just stopped. I remember wishing vividedly and passionately for a partner, and I have tried many times to have one and I was just left dissapointed. I haven't even had my first kiss! Let alone other things.
Some weeks ago I just noticed that I stopped caring. I'm someone who became extremely focus on oneself: exercise, reading, studying, and all types of improving. I'm not ashamed of saying that I'm perfect as I'm now and I'm really proud of myself.
Still, I got to a point in my life when even the mention of "love" sparks an inner laugh for me, I suddenly started to refuse love. My parents love rom-coms and everything romance-related and every time they want to play one of those films my refusal is complete. It isn't something that escalated and I planned or willed. It just happened from night to morning. I stopped caring about couples, and I even stopped imagining myself in a relationship. Nowadays whenever I think about anything like that it ends up in lust (if you know what I mean) but no more than that.
I don't even feel this refusal as a loss, I just don't feel I lost an important part of myself.
Could it be for all the dissapointment I passed through? Probably. The experiences I had were horrible and the experiences I wished to have with girls that were extremely compatible with me never happened because they were/are in a relationship.
What has become of me? Is this my version of love? Or I lack of it? Is it because since I haven't experience a relationship I fear that after having one and failing I wouldn't get over it?

Love is not for me. I'm a 20 year old man. Some months ago the moment I saw a couple on the street I used either to curse, or to just imagine myself with a girlfriend, but some weeks ago everything just stopped. I remember wishing vividedly and passionately for a partner, and I have tried many times to have one and I was just left dissapointed. I haven't even had my first kiss! Let alone other things.
Some weeks ago I just noticed that I stopped caring. I'm someone who became extremely focus on oneself: exercise, reading, studying, and all types of improving. I'm not ashamed of saying that I'm perfect as I'm now and I'm really proud of myself.
Still, I got to a point in my life when even the mention of "love" sparks an inner laugh for me, I suddenly started to refuse love. My parents love rom-coms and everything romance-related and every time they want to play one of those films my refusal is complete. It isn't something that escalated and I planned or willed. It just happened from night to morning. I stopped caring about couples, and I even stopped imagining myself in a relationship. Nowadays whenever I think about anything like that it ends up in lust (if you know what I mean) but no more than that.
I don't even feel this refusal as a loss, I just don't feel I lost an important part of myself.
Could it be for all the dissapointment I passed through? Probably. The experiences I had were horrible and the experiences I wished to have with girls that were extremely compatible with me never happened because they were/are in a relationship.
What has become of me? Is this my version of love? Or I lack of it? Is it because since I haven't experience a relationship I fear that after having one and failing I wouldn't get over it?