u/LionSockDrawer

Guys, I mean this in the nicest way possible, he just died two weeks ago. I have seen many of posts asking about if there will be more merch, if there will be more music put out, conspiracy theories for more content. Let’s all have a little more respect for Oliver, the team, friends, and family and take a breath.

This isn’t at anyone specifically or meant to start anything, it has just been rubbing me the wrong way. I’m sure something or other will come in due time but now is not the time for wanting more

I was into Oliver my senior year of High School in 2019. I check my Spotify and I had all of his singles at the time saved up until saving Fuck on April 15th 2020. For an unknown reason I just didn’t keep up with what he was doing and missed out on all of his albums that were released. And I feel horrible about it. But there is nothing I can do about it now ya know.

I can’t say that Oliver’s music changed my life or anything at the time because I was never one to look deeply at lyrics and derive meaning from them. Again, I feel sad about it. I honestly thought the guy was annoying as hell, at the time I didn’t realize it was a character so I was like FUCK this guy is so unfunny, I even blocked him HAHA. But watching his videos now has me dying. Genuinely the funniest person I have ever seen. Watching his early videos have been hard. He was just a little goober riding his scooter and while I watch I think “that bundle of joy is gone now, and he doesn’t even know it.”

When I got the news from a friend that Oliver died I sent a shocked image of myself and spent the day being like “wow, that’s so sad.” But once I was recommended content of his, friends saying such amazing things about him, seeing everything he accomplished, that’s when I broke. I have been crying ever since.

I have never reacted this way about a death before, not even for my own family members, which sounds fucked up but my grandparents were old and when you get to that aged it’s assumed that it will happen soon.

Oliver. Oliver was 32.

I see images and videos of him and he’s so full of joy, so youthful, so curious, so kind, so funny, so talented, so appreciative, just overall such an amazing person. It’s not a healthy mindset to put someone on a pedestal, and I by no means believe he has done no wrong, everyone has, but it’s so hard not to put him up there. Every body has only had nice things to say about him, he was so pure of heart. So inspiring to everyone he encountered. It just hurts.

Everyday I’ve had a pit and choking feeling in my body. I of course know that it’s because he died, put I’ll attach that word without really thinking about what that really means. Yes Oliver is dead. It’s when I actually stop and think about what being dead actually means that I completely lose control. He gone forever and never coming back. Nobody deserves to die (except the obvious horrible people of the world) but Oliver especially didn’t. I have been grieving his loss of a future. Who knows what he would have done. All those projects he was constantly working on will never come to fruition. He will never get to go on his world tour. He will never be able to live out any of his dreams.

Like many people have said. It doesn’t feel real. And I feel the same way. And not in a it doesn’t feel really because it feels like some kind of joke or bit. It literally feels like some form of dissociation. Like how could that happen. It’s so fucking unfair. It doesn’t feel like a thing that actually happened.

The solace that I have is that he prepared for this moment. He purposefully lived the life he did for this reason. I think about what he said in the frog interview, that if he died tomorrow he would think he had a good run. And that is such a powerful comment while we grieve.

I don’t know him personally but I’d like to think he would find it hilarious that people believe Atlantic Records was the reason for his death, as well as thinking the way he died was cool AF.

If there is an afterlife, I believe Oliver is feeling very warmed and loved right now and happy to have lived the life he did.

If me, someone who can’t even say I was a fan fan before his death is grieving this hard, I can’t fucking imagine how his friends and family feel. I really fucking can’t. It is such a hard fucking loss.

It was too soon. Forever love you dude.