not in a bad way ofc course, i'm glad ND are getting recognition that isn't i am a surgeon/sheldon. but it's more out of curiosity cos i thought japan is competitive socialising and also asians just have that stigma about mental health disorders compared to the west. is nankidai neurodivergent too like we barely know about him
i dont understand what it was trying to accomplish, the beginning intro talked a lot about majority vs minority and the consequences of voting for either, but we didn't see it explored much in later chapters which is a shame bc it has so much potential, man.
why's this happened w me when I talk to ppl like obviously I don't have the best social skills and I've tried talking with people I meet because it's good practice yk, and like they never reciprocate interest back and I'm supposed to carry the conversation for them, like I'm doing something wrong
like I went to buy alcohol, he's asking me about if I'm in education, I'm like yeah I do something in architecture, it's a bit more on the technical side making sure it works and follows regulations, he then says oh, I did that as my full time career!
I ask him do you still do that, I mean as in do you still work in that industry (cos he works in a mini off-sales)
he's like yes I do kind of, I still design in my free time and have worked on many projects, it's been my passion for so many years I really enjoy it
I say oh that's great you have a lifelong passion, do you design houses or other stuff for back home? (cos he's an immigrant and me too, people usually design their custom homes)
he says I've designed two gardens actually in the past couple of years
I ask oh those projects sound very exciting, how did they turn out?
he then goes on a whole ramble about how his first was a big rectangle with nothing except dirt, and how he built on the garden some patio with a huge BBQ, and a mini pond with real fish in it, with a Japanese style bridge over the pond and Japanese style plants like bonsai, cherry blossoms and I'll be real, I zoned out a bit he probably said some other stuff but it was kind of boring I wanted to go home and drink but still wanted to be polite
still I tell him that's actually very incredible! planning and building all that must've been very difficult to begin with, but you managed to pull it off and now you got a very beautiful garden to relax in, especially since our country's had lots of sunny weather, said he's very lucky and I'd love something similar one day
all I got was yeah, and then he told me no he sold it (lol??)
I tell him oh that's a bit of a bummer then, but at least you had a good time while it lasted yeah?
again, yeah and then goes on about how the next places garden he couldn't build the same pond style garden, something to do with the land not supporting it etc, had to settle for a more basic one and this one was more plant focused
at this point it's been like 10 minutes of talking and I want to leave, I tried giving him signals like replying very shortly yeah, wow, that's nice, really? I also tried looking at my phone etc til I just decided nah, I'll say it outright, it's getting a bit late now my friends will be a bit worried haha they'll ask me where have I gone and finally I got to leave :p
but yeah I noticed he never really reciprocated much interest in me, he was looking for me to continue talking and I forgot what I said but if I tried add my own experience "oh I know somebody who's did that before" it's a very quick "yeah." before he moves on to talk about himself again
there was another more similar guy just like him but he was very quick about sharing his struggles, still I mean I got some time I guess, I don't mind humouring him and maybe I'll learn more conversational skills so I decided why not???
but I bought a PSP off this guy, met up to collect it and it started off fairly simple. he just talks to me about how this thing is really impressive the games still hold up to this day his must-play titles and how he's owned it since release, it's such a shame he has to part ways with it but unfortunately because of the current cost of living crisis, he really needs the money to make ends meet, especially cos it's been really rough, he lost his main job since the company decided to let go of hundreds, and he needed to downgrade to one that pays a lot less and he's been struggling financially he even took on a second job
that day I also lost my job at like 5am, and I told him oh me too actually, what a coincidence!
he's like oh that's unfortunate, it's probably not easy finding a job in today's market, I mean my son he's roughly the same age as you and he's struggled finding one, it's been especially tough on him since he's got autism
I'm like yeah it is a bit difficult but still you can't give up you'll land a job eventually just need to keep at it you know, anyways how old is your son roughly?
he's like oh him, yeah he's 2x years old, he's got autism actually and talked about how his boss was bullying him and that he had to go in and talk with the boss tell him knock it off
I tell him I'm sorry about that, it must be tough. I actually got a brother a little older than your son, he's disabled too and the world out there it's cruel, especially if people sniff out you're a tiny bit different from them
he's like oh okay, yeah but it's not him I'm worried about, he's a smart lad he's studying comp sci and I'm sure he'll make it, I have another daughter she's younger roughly 1x years old and also got autism/adhd, I'm just really worried about her future, I love her to death but it's just she's really gullible, easy to hurt and manipulate and girls at school make fun of her etc (I forgot their ages lmaooo)
then he goes on about how she's been hurt before, just a long life story on someone's daughter you have to nod through
obviously I try be polite, offer my sympathy, but like at some point I'm kind of impatient I just want to go home now I didn't really want a whole life story. if I try drop hints ("oof it's really been a while hasn't it, nice to see we got a pretty lazy day yeah?" etc) he's very quick to be like I guess, then quickly goes back to the same story again, if I share similar experiences he brushes them off quickly to prioritise himself and goes back to talk about his struggles, til eventually he's like I have to go now and I'm like yeah
my partner said that he must've been trying to sympathy bait you into giving more money since you're a woman, he probably thought easy target and started talking about how he's struggling and honestly I'm not too sure but it's always possible
still I don't know if I just got unlucky, if I was too passive or if I gave off the wrong signals that encouraged them to continue, and why they didn't pick up on my signals that I want to leave, was I too indirect, did they notice but just kept on going anyways etc and also why they didn't show much interest in my experiences
like obviously it's not some fucked up snuff thing, and it's for some greater purpose that we haven't really been told but we've been given so many hints like critiques on democracy, tiramisu saying they're all connected, heavily observed for decades, the whole yakuza thing gin happens to know about, the other death game with the dead 17yo girl, ai tests, kai protecting sara, MIDori happened to be involved in everyones story and consent forms (i found the consent forms incredibly strange and how they're needed) etc
and like i've wondered why they were treated respectfully, like they're given food, private places to sleep, medical attention and the deaths are somewhat quick ??? not much needless suffering etc if they're not just death game victims cos then maybe it's a psychological experiment??? but then what for? why do they need to create replicas of dead people and have players interact? whys it sara heavily centred in everything? what was the point of the beginning trials and killing off half the cast before you got introduced to the democracy aspect (could be the fairness thingy but it killed off people low on the list too so i'd argue against it being fair and equal) if it's a psychological experiment
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I know I knowwwwww he has a family, but I just wish he wouldn't stay radio silent all the time, especially since people even paid for early access that he promised would be complete in 6-12 months, like I understand taking your time is better than rushing it and he also has children to take care of, but people spent actual money on it so it's pretty much a product now not a passion project where he could take all the time in the world, and he does owe us something in return such as better communication
ugghdhdbgshd i feel like this ones gonna be so hard to phrase out without accidentally offending someone or being called insulted or whatever
so ima just put a disclaimer, i love cosy games myself n put like 200 hours into stardew and i lovelovelove acnl and i don't think there's anything wrong w enjoying them either and doesn't make you any less of a gamer or whatever, although i'll admit i got the taste of a teenage boy lol
but yeah getting into it, video games have always been marketed towards boys, n i dont wanna hear anything like "well it's not gendered towards anyone boys and girls can play anything" that's just pure ignorance and completely ignoring the point
for ages you saw video games as be a manly badass!! hot women!!! kill people!!! TESTOSTERONE!!!!!!!! RAAHHHHHH!!
girls were included too but they were a small minority and usually some pet game or fashion game (i loved style boutique lol goated) or some major IP game like monster high, barbie whatever
and finally women got into the gaming community too cos of cosy games but it's always felt ehh to me
like i'm glad we finally got accepted but then the games marketed towards us felt just lazy and it felt like its saying women aren't really capable of enjoying male marketed games
cos a lot of male marketed games they are super skilled based, required strategy, and approached difficult topics and had complex characters, and they're enjoyed by both genders like cmon gta 4's story and themes are so good everyone n their mama loves it
while i feel cosy games just are simple mechanics, it's always and exploring surface level characters and relationships and themes, obviously there are outliers but vast majority feel like that to me but yk im open to hearing abt cosy games that went deeper like rlly id love to
and it's always something to do with farms, fish, save up and decorate, and yk you could argue for men its kill, buy better gear, climb ranks n ya i kinda reached a logical hole so i'd love to hear from either side
but men have their own games they define as cosy as well like botw or even truck simulators lol
and a lot of funding goes into male dominated tho ill admit its lately been a rise of unisex marketing but still male leaning, but still id love to see a graph of it, this is just speculation now but i think there's not much money invested in female marketed games compared to guys, like cmon gta 6 got $1 billion dollars, a heavily male dominated series
like it feels like its saying "durrrrr women can't enjoy the proper games therefore our moneys going to men" and its got its reasons why cos corpos want moneyyyy and theyre risk averse, targetting the stuff that worked well
like i rlly love exploring difficult themes and that happens a lot in male marketed games, like fallout, gta, bioshock, rdr2 whatever
one game i can think of for example was laceys games cos they explored childhood trauma, serious issues while taking on a hyperfeminine aesthetic, and i rlly enjoyed seeing difficult topics finally being represented thru a female perspective, it feels like we're finally taken seriously to handle something that heavy, and for some women they finally feel represented (i'm sorry abt that)
also cosy gaming is NOT taken seriously
a woman says "oh i love rlly love elden ring" and there's a higher chance she'll be taken seriously by a man
"oh yeahhh i love cosy games like acnh n stardew" n there's someone whos like "um ok thats nice" n u feel that energy shift not sure how to describe it but ya it feels like he doesn't respect u for it
and yea theres this thing that women enjoy a game (silent hill, resident evil, fatal frame, final fantasy, kingdom hearts, persona, hell even the 3ds n psp cos ur a larper for some damn stickers) it's just the vibe shifts drastically, n that women have to prove they can stay in the community without being called a larper performative doing it for male attention or the aesthetic pick me
and the moment you try add a female protagonist to a male marketed game, there's some guy who's never felt the touch of a woman go on like "this is unplayable!!! i cant immerse myself properly playing as lucia this is unacceptable" like i mean ok buddy im sure u felt very immersed and related to a cowboy, or a downright maniac like trevor, or some postman who got shot in the head
hell they'll play as aliens, animals and they don't complain but yh that's another topic
i also see the potential in women enjoying like skill based games oriented towards them
like an fps with a feminine aesthetic could work, or exploring difficult topics amongst women etc, n i think women would enjoy games marketed towards them like that and there's a lot of potential in women marketed games beyond just cosy gaming
tldr men have games that r taken more seriously by society n defined by masculinity (duh), skill based, open to exploring dark themes and morally ambiguous characters
female marketed games feel like very hand holding, shallow themes and relationships, mechanics that don't require much skill
basically self explanatory, takes forever to load stuff especially when i change types of floors carpets walls etc but ive seen on yt everyones works smoothly