My fear of rejection is really really bad. For example, if I ask someone to hang out and they say they are gonna be busy, ill assume that they secretly just don't want to hang out and they don't like me. I had this exact thing happen just now. I got told they were busy, and now im in my head assuming whack things. How do I stop this???
I just broke up with my ex a week ago but holy shit. I had recently remembered this and I wanted to come onto here and double check if this is crazy or if I'm tripping. He used to ask me to send him pictures so he could "make sure its not bad" which... is that weird? But there was one occasion in which I had been sober for 4 months I think? And I had relapsed. He made me apologize for cutting myself. He made me apologize TO HIM. apparently I had "betrayed his trust" and he "didn't know if he could trust me anymore." The whole situation where I was grieving my relapse had became about HIM and how he's upset and hurt that I would ever do such a thing. Please tell me if this is weird or not because I'm thinking about it and it's genuinely making me upset. Have you ever had an experience similar to this? If so please rant to me or tell me so I feel like I'm not the only one 💀
We were in a parking garage when they all got in and drove off without me. I stopped chasing them after like 4 seconds because it hurts to run, so I gave up and walked down the stairs. Apparently only after I went down the stairs they drove backwards to find me... but also If I chased after them they would have probably just kept going. So yeah I walked all the way down and just sat on a bench outside and waited for them to come get me. I didn't have my phone on me either so I had no way of knowing what they were doing. Eventually they came down, but I feel pretty annoyed. My boyfriend didn't say sorry and he just keeps saying that he didn't do anything. His friend was the one driving, but my boyfriend was still in the car participating i feel, and he was laughing. I told him that was messed up and I've stopped talking. (I'm not ignoring them, ive just stopped talking because I'm a little pissed off) AIO?
Edit: I told him I wasn't just mad at him but also his friends. He still refused to apologize, he's still saying he didn't do anything, he's blaming it all on the friend who was driving, saying "how is it my fault." Ect. I told him that it doesn't take much effort to at least say a simple sorry but he refuses to acknowledge that and only follows it up with more dismissal. (I am sorry if my grammar is bad, I'm really upset right now)
Edit again: this is a copy and paste of the message he sent me.
Dawg this is such bullshit I'm going to be so honest. For one we stopped so you didn't have to run to catch up. We stopped for a good bit. Waited for you. You got impatient and decided to walk down 4 flights of stairs which is not that long. You're assuming (name of friend) would drive off but you don't know that. AND ITS A FRIENDLY PRANK. It's not that serious and I don't know why you're so upset about walking down stairs to get picked up. Nothing happened beyond that Jesus Christ this is the most stupid thing that we could possibly be fighting over. If I were in your shoes I'd laugh it off because it's a friendly prank not some personal attack against me. I think maybe you should get a doctors appointment like I've asked you SEVERAL TIMES because I feel like it's not that deep to be this upset over
Update morning after: im at a loss. I need to give more context but towards the end of the message he sent me, he uses medication against me. That medication was sertraline. He was the reason I got off of it in the first place. Sertraline destroyed my libido and in which he kept mentioning "I feel so depressed that we haven't been intimate. I feel like there's so much distance between us. I miss having sex." And so when one day I mentioned maybe getting off of it so my libido can go back up, he said "so do it." .... and so I did. Now its being thrown back at me and used against me. This is not okay and I've realized that. I've started remember other things that have happened that I've brushed off, that my friends are now telling me is textbook abuse. There was a time I had to apologize to him for self harming, because I "violated his trust." Theres been many times where after he's done something wrong, and it gets turned around onto me as if I had done something. It always ends in me apologizing. Now I see it happening again. This morning he messaged me that he had skipped his FINAL EXAM because he didn't get sleep last night. I think I have been ignoring red flags and signs of being gaslit beforehand. I'm shaken up. I'm going to have to break up with him, but apart of me doesn't want to. I don't want to stop playing magic the gathering with his other friends, his grandma is nice and is making me a quilt. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I want to have someone. I'm scared of being alone again but that person Is not him.