I’m a revert, I know about the rights and responsibilities of both parties but thats the technicalities, how’s an Islamic marriage? What else there is to know about it? What about the nikkah? What comes before and after. I know nothing about what it means to be in a marriage or be a wife, I think that if i do want to get married at some point, it’s good to start asking such questions.
So men have to provide for food, shelter and clothing for his wife. Does it mean men have to buy the wife a house and put it in her name? Or he has to have a house and that’s how he fulfills her rights? A woman can ask for a house too right?
I made some big duas, I know they will take time but I wanted to hear some stories about those who made dua on Arafa and got an answer. Did you get what you asked for? Are you content with it? Is it exactly what you wanted or is it different? How long did you wait until you saw it coming true?
The expectation, the responsibilities, the rights, the obligations. Everything seems like too much. What you can and can’t do, what you must do, sharing your life which doesn’t fully belong to you anymore.
Trying to balance two lives in one space and share your space with someone else, become vulnerable, accept the risk of choosing the wrong person. How do people do it?
As a revert, my parents dated for years before marrying, they had time to know each other, but as a Muslim I don’t have that, I can’t date a potential and hope we grow into a solid unit, we get into it blindly and hope for the best.
You think in the times of getting to know each other we’ll talk about our flaws? Our nasty side? We all show the shiny parts and hope that’s enough to attract the other person. But it seems overwhelming to me, how life could change the moment you join someone else.
And I won’t even explain the sexual part, giving your body to someone else after keeping it to yourself for so long; and suddenly it belongs to someone else, who uses it and demands it whenever, and don’t you dare to say no too much or problems arise.
I may be too naive, too scared, too immature but marriage and everything that comes with it scares me, worries me and I don’t think I want it for myself. Marriage to solve loneliness doesn’t seem worth it to me but it does feel like I’m the only one who feels like this
Last year I used to make dua to pass some very hard exams but I kept failing, I even thought “Is Allah denying this to me? What am I going to do? This is my career” I retook that course twice last year, this year I retook it a third time, I didn’t make dua anymore, I got tired but Alhamdulillah! I just passed 1/2 exams of this course! So I, as a revert, just learned an important lesson, delay is not denial, it’s preparation, it teaches us patience. Just because you personally give up on your dua doesn’t mean Allah SWT didn’t record it or won’t answer, my faith got strengthened and my love for Allah has grown even more. How wonderful is our Rabb!
Yesterday I tried to fast but I got really sick and had to break it to eat something, I spent the rest of the day completely sick so I decided not to fast today either. I feel like I’m failing these 10 days, can’t even give charity cause I’m broke. I’m struggling so much and I hate I can’t worship Allah like I intended…
I’ve seen many people who have issues with their potentials before getting married but still want to have their nikkah due to attachment or maybe trauma bonding. My question is: does the disrespect disappear after nikkah? Does anything change when the papers get signed? Does the past heavily affect the new couple or it can change?
I’m (F25) a revert, Allah chose Islam for me two years ago alhamdulillah. I’ve been thinking for a while now how I don’t really have the culture of marriage, I don’t even know how I would find someone to marry, I don’t have a community or someone who could hook me up with someone else. I don’t see myself as a wife really, I don’t think I could fulfill that role or do everything a wife is supposed to do, I can barely handle myself, let alone try to help another person as well. It’s quite strange because I hear all the time that your spouse completes half your deen but I can’t really see myself in that position, rather i would have my own place and live life quietly on my own. Anyone else feels that way?
Five years ago I fell in love with the most wonderful man I’ve ever met, with the kindest heart and the sweetest voice.
We were long distance so our love couldn’t be. He began dating on and off a woman who has hurt him time and time again until I find out he married her few months ago.
My heart is shattered and my faith is shaken, I ask Allah (SWT) why, why not me? Why not me when I loved him so much? When I always tried to encourage him to remain steadfast in his religion. Why not me when I was the one who listened to his heart break over and over again for a woman who only cause him pain?
Cause yes, there were good moments but the bad ones shattered his spirit piece by piece every time.
I can’t help but think that I was never good enough, I never prayed enough, begged enough, made dua enough, had enough faith, just wasn’t enough.
I find myself rotting slowly due to heartache, my skin breaking, losing weight, shaking, crying, begging and praying for a miracle every single night before fajr.
What do I even do now? I feel so lost, in pain and abandoned. I don’t can’t find relief.
(MIGHT DELETE LATER) Salam everyone, my (F32) friend recently told me she wants to marry her toxic ex boyfriend, which whom she had an abusive relationship with, despite the abuse she endured and the closed doors she went through. She has been dating him on and off since 2020 and for some reason she simply can’t get away from him, no matter how many times she has said she wants to move on and regrets dating him. Now she comes to me and says she has reconnected with him and believes this time is different and they’re much more healthy as a couple. The thing is that she tried to marry him in 2023 but after istikhara things didn’t progress, which led to yet another break up. If I’m completely honest, I’m heartbroken and worried about her, she’s willing to marry someone that insulted her, disrespected her and her family and ultimately made her lose all her self esteem and self confidence. I desperately want to help her, I’m begging Allah SWT for a miracle just like when He guided her last time. I’m so afraid and so worried about her. Is there any way my prayers reach our Rabb and for Him to put a stop to this? I simply can’t do anything for her anymore, we have talked, discussed, encouraged her to heal but nothing has worked. Please tell me if there’s a du’a I can make for her or if this is Allah’s plan. I’m worried and heartbroken.
Mi amigo me contó hace poco que se va a casar con su ex (ahora novia o prometida) la cual lo hizo padecer durante dos años (2023/2024), luego bloquearlo durante un año (2025), para después encontrarlo en el supermercado por allá en diciembre 2025. Ellos dos se peleaban mucho, ella lo bloqueaba y lo desbloqueaba, lo insultaba y ninguneaba. Él le decía cosas muy feas y la hacía llorar. Ambos además hicieron posteos en Reddit para validar su ruptura y desprecio por el otro. Ahora me cuenta, despues de que lo oculto por meses, que está pensando en casarse y arreglar la boda para la semana que viene, pero tengo entendido (en base a un TikTok que él reposteo) que ellos ya se habían vuelto a pelear y arreglar por allá en febrero de este año. Para colmo, ella es su única novia, nunca tuvo otra ni conoció otras chicas. Además de que siempre me decía que la odiaba y que era una hdp pero, a la vez, si la volvía a ver lo intentaría de nuevo. Es acaso mi amigo tóxico o sólo es estúpido? Prosperará el matrimonio o voy a tener que consolarlo de vuelta? Si tienen anécdotas similares, cuéntenme.
My friend changed completely after going back with his toxic ex and I don’t know how to cope, he’s been putting more distance between us when he used to come to me for support and advice when he was dealing with her. What can I do? How can I cope? Am I losing my friend?