u/Loose-Writer7318

I lost 80 (223 -> 143).

For years I was the fat friend. I told myself I had a friend group. Looking back, I was mostly useful for them. I was the one who made them look better by standing next to them, the one whose job was to laugh first at the jokes about my own body, because if I didn't, they would comment: "it's just a joke, don't take it so seriously," "omg you're SO sensitive." So I just kept laughing. That's my fault, I know. But I genuinely believed that the moment I stopped being the "chill" one, they'd stop hanging out with me.

The other thing was hunger. If you've been the overweight friend, you already know exactly what I mean. I'd be physically starving, stomach actually hurting, and I would not dare be the first to say I was hungry. Because I'd get that little look that said you should probably eat less. Or honestly, nothing at all.

So I learned to wait. Never order a starter. Never finish my plate. Eat the "right" amount in public, then eat properly later, alone, where no one could see me.

Then, after months of working out, preplanning my days and cutting back on food, I lost the weight. And it got weirder.

I thought losing the weight would fix the friendship. It did the opposite. The same girls who joked about me went really distant. And some guys actually started approaching me, and somehow the group said every one of those guys was just "not worth it."

After a while contact broke down more and more. Now I have my tiny circle of old friends but not one of them ever lets me feel like the sidekick .

For anyone on the larger side: the people who only love you when you're the least attractive one in the room were never your friends. They just needed someone to feel superior to and let out their own frustration

I lost 80 (223 -> 143).

For years I was the fat friend. I told myself I had a friend group. Looking back, I was mostly useful for them. I was the one who made them look better by standing next to them, the one whose job was to laugh first at the jokes about my own body, because if I didn't, they would comment: "it's just a joke, don't take it so seriously," "omg you're SO sensitive." So I just kept laughing. That's my fault, I know. But I genuinely believed that the moment I stopped being the "chill" one, they'd stop hanging out with me.

The other thing was hunger. If you've been the overweight friend, you already know exactly what I mean. I'd be physically starving, stomach actually hurting, and I would not dare be the first to say I was hungry. Because I'd get that little look that said you should probably eat less. Or honestly, nothing at all.

So I learned to wait. Never order a starter. Never finish my plate. Eat the "right" amount in public, then eat properly later, alone, where no one could see me.

Then, after months of working out, preplanning my days and cutting back on food, I lost the weight. And it got weirder.

I thought losing the weight would fix the friendship. It did the opposite. The same girls who joked about me went really distant. And some guys actually started approaching me, and somehow the group said every one of those guys was just "not worth it."

After a while contact broke down more and more. Now I have my tiny circle of old friends but not one of them ever lets me feel like the sidekick .

For anyone on the larger side: the people who only love you when you're the least attractive one in the room were never your friends. They just needed someone to feel superior to and let out their own frustration

I lost 80 (223 -> 143).

For years I was the fat friend. I told myself I had a friend group. Looking back, I was mostly useful for them. I was the one who made them look better by standing next to them, the one whose job was to laugh first at the jokes about my own body, because if I didn't, they would comment: "it's just a joke, don't take it so seriously," "omg you're SO sensitive." So I just kept laughing. That's my fault, I know. But I genuinely believed that the moment I stopped being the "chill" one, they'd stop hanging out with me.

The other thing was hunger. If you've been the overweight friend, you already know exactly what I mean. I'd be physically starving, stomach actually hurting, and I would not dare be the first to say I was hungry. Because I'd get that little look that said you should probably eat less. Or honestly, nothing at all.

So I learned to wait. Never order a starter. Never finish my plate. Eat the "right" amount in public, then eat properly later, alone, where no one could see me.

Then, after months of working out, preplanning my days and cutting back on food, I lost the weight. And it got weirder.

I thought losing the weight would fix the friendship. It did the opposite. The same girls who joked about me went really distant. And some guys actually started approaching me, and somehow the group said every one of those guys was just "not worth it."

After a while contact broke down more and more. Now I have my tiny circle of old friends but not one of them ever lets me feel like the sidekick .

For anyone on the larger side: the people who only love you when you're the least attractive one in the room were never your friends. They just needed someone to feel superior to and let out their own frustration

There's something called implementation intentions. transforming "I want to do X" into "I will do X at time Y" increases follow-through by 2-3x, just because the decision is already made before the day starts.

So I tried it for a week.

what changed: I was more productive, stopped doomscrolling in between tasks and actually finished my work. I have ADHD so having everything already laid out helped also my screen time dropped by almost 3 hours a day.

There's something called implementation intentions. transforming "I want to do X" into "I will do X at time Y" increases follow-through by 2-3x, just because the decision is already made before the day starts.

So I tried it for a week.

what changed: I was more productive, stopped doomscrolling in between tasks and actually finished my work. I have ADHD so having everything already laid out helped also my screen time dropped by almost 3 hours a day.

There's something called implementation intentions. transforming "I want to do X" into "I will do X at time Y" increases follow-through by 2-3x, just because the decision is already made before the day starts.

So I tried it for a week.

what changed: I was more productive, stopped doomscrolling in between tasks and actually finished my work. I have ADHD so having everything already laid out helped also my screen time dropped by almost 3 hours a day.