u/Loose_Tone_4943

by these kind of characters i mean preferably an aloof cold typa ML and then main character be a really energetic ball of sunshine or rainbows it doesnt strictly have to be this trope but somethign simular also i dont care if its manhua manhwa or manga anime show etc idgafi js really like it um i think an example of this would be the characters from bloody mary as in bloody and maria i dunno tho ^^ also i do applogize for the really bad grammer

umm so me and this guy im friends (?) with (im a guy too by the way if this matters) agreed to meet up satarday this week and um the thing is this is our first time actually meeting up and uh he asked me to bring one of my hoodies for him to steal n then he said if his mum comes too (she mgiht drive him) to act normal around eeachother bc she thinsk were just friends n like GUAOSDGIHPOS i told my frined n she said it was basically a date but idk hes also dropped hints he liked me idkk bro....

So i met this guy two days ago i was pretty fast to develop a crush on him, cuz hes pretty cool we have similar interests, basically he saw a picture of me doing some goofy ass face our mutual friend showed him he saw a few more photos i guess he asked for my number and he texted me later on, anyways, we talk for a bit and like get to know each other i guess?? that part was purely platonic I think, anyways later on we call for almost an hour straight we probably wouldve stayed on call for longer but he was parental controls so he had to go. anyways the next day we text for a bit he was kind of busy so i didnt want to bother him so i just waited until later on to text him and i send him a text that says gn he says gn too n then i say wtf is gn get naked? or smth ig n he calls ig so we talk for um i think a while i dont know how long cuz he set his sweater on fire by accident and accidentally hung up while tryng to set the fire alarm off but i would say about an hour at some point i started asking him questions like "are you dating anyone right now" "how many exes do you have" "whats your type" etc and i asked him if he was interested in anyone he said yeah and then i got kinda dissapointed yk so i asked if they liked him back/were interested too bc if they werent i might have a chance and he deadass says "based off of the questions theyre asking me right now they probably do" I freak out cuz it might be me right so then i attempt to ask if hes talking to them rn he couldnt hear me i had to ask 5 times i dont know what he said the first time bc my friend was asking me smth in the bg she said he said yes though im not sure though because she mightve misheard when i ask him again i kind of forgot what he said it hink he said something along the lines of i might be or something i dont know i forgot.. late ron i send a text asking if the person he was interested in was a guy or girl, and if its a crush or just interest since he pansexual and he said its a guy (im a guy by the way) and that it was interest slowly developing into a crush i was like ok!! ^_^ or smth i fprgot i sent a <3 emoji and he sent "oh?" i sent a keyboard smash or smth and then gn!! n he said the same thing and thats the end of it also whenever i text him he replies hi/hey/hello idk in all caps he usually responds within five minutes or smth unless hes still at school (he goes to a diff school) also idk if i added this but he also aske dme if i was dating anyone rn n stuff

Part 1: Introduction
Saihate Station (さいはて駅) is an indie horror game created by viv (びぶ) centering a toxic Love-hate relationship between two men, it takes place in a station/collection of train carts, the objective of the game is to escape the train + the station and go home.
-Characters-
Haru akinashi: one of the protagonists, he has a very low self esteem which is constantly present throughout the story, likely rooted from criticism constantly present in his backstory.

Shion Tatsunami: The other protaganist, often shown as kind, warm hearted, friendly and a bit childish, he also likes to eat allot (maybe because his parents are known to have been abusive so maybe they starved him as a kid when he failed a test or something? Just a theory i don'thave much evidencebto back it up).

Aoi Tenjiku: An important side character, she is Haru's Ex-girlfriend she is also Shions sister she has a different last name because their parents divorced. She probably represents rejection. (Not 100 percent sure about this one lmk if ur opinion differs)

other characters:

manager: The manager at haru and shions workplace, she constantly makes haru feels inferior. Its implied that shion pushed her into an ongoing train and killed her, severing her arm, she likely represents judgement, more evidence to back this up would be that for example a stiff le unmoving hand may sometimes represent a judgmental attitude thats cold and unchanging, sort of how she treats haru. Or it could be like an arm of judgement type thing and having it get cut off would symbolize the judgement being gone?

the bullies: 3 kids who appear in a flashback haru had, it is implied that shion trapped them in the electrical room in he second train cart and set it on fire therefore killing them. They likely represent something more like cruelty, which slightly reflects over on how they died. Not only that but if you search up the connections between fire and cruelty in symbolism some points make allot of sense but im too lazy to add them so you go do it.

Natsuki akinashi: Haru's younger brother.

Endings:

(i believe saying the 'I loathe you' line triggers the chase scene but im not sure correct me if im wrong)

ENDING A (RETURN): You beat the chase scene which shion attempts to take your life, you then escape his influence by using the handkerchief aoi gave him he then hears her voice telling him to forgive himself which he does. (for context he somewhat assisted in her murder and blames himself for it). After using the handkerchief you faint then wake up in the original traincart (the good one that isnt in his dream) this is considered one of the two good endings.

ENDING B (ATONEMENT): you beat the chase scene (i think) but this time instead of using the handkerchief you use the knife on yourself and take your own life. Considered one of the bad endings.

ENDING C (WARMTH): you lose the chase scene and shion then stabs you then himself so you can stay together forever. considered one of the bad endings

ENDING Z (TOGETHER FOREVER): you forgive shion for what he did and skip the chase scene you also visit the beach. You wake up in the real world where you meet shion again. this is considered 2/2 of the good endings or even the best ending, its also considered the true ending.

-------------------------------------------------------------PART 2: analysis on haru and shions relationship----------------------------------------------------------------

Haru and shions relationship depends on a toxic codependency based on validation and attachment.
In the story you see Shion deeply attached to haru this is because haru is "less" than him therefore validating him, although we see shion have a very cheery and happy demeanor it is likely just a facade, as you can see slight cracks in his demeanor throughout the game exhibiting traits like insecurity and despair.

on Haru's side, he is also quite dependent on shion throughout the game, this is likely because shion constantly provides him with validation throughout the game, for example there are multiple scenes where shion provides him with verbal validation and not only that but he constantly sticks by harus side, because of this haru becomes pretty dependent on him, for example you see this at play when shion tells haru he has to use the bathroom where he leaves haru alone for maybe 5 minutes at most, haru starts to panic and freak out when this happens.

2-A: Deeper dive on shions side.

While many people may call shion a "yandere" I believe that's not the case, a yandere is a character who often kills for/kills the character they are in love with, while i do believe to some extent that shion and haru 'love' each other, it's not quite that simple.

Throughout the story we see shion constantly do things for haru, he kills for him, validates him, everything!!
But i don't think he's doing it because he's romantically interested in haru, it's likely because he sees haru as 'less' than him and haru does too, so if he were to help haru out in every way possible it would to some extent make him harus "hero" therefore granting him validation from both haru seeing him as one, he justifies murder, by doing it for harus sake he sees it as doing haru a favor, like a hero killing the villain of the story, I do believe he sees the world in black and white (figuratively) as good and bad, hero and villain, the list goes on. He likely sees himself as bad, and that's why he's so desperate to be the "hero" in Haru's story. He likely also views people by the surface.

More evidence to back this up is that when haru doesn't see shion as the hero instead seeing him as villain too which breaks the illusion of him being a good person to haru, you can see him slightly freak out because of this, because not only does it cut off shions source of validation but it also threatens his status as hero.

Now for the next part lets talk about shions ROMANTIC feelings for haru.
While i do believe shion romantically likes haru, I don't think the he's obsessed with HARU it's more like he's obsessed with the validation haru indirectly gives him, It's likely that the romantic feelings developed BECAUSE of the validation, not the other way around.

Shion likely deeply loathes himself, you can see this exhibited through self destructive behavior like how he was willing to die by harus side if it meant being together forever, which also shows you just how desperate for validation he is.

2-B: deeper dive on Harus side.

Haru very obviously hates himself allot, often shown through his internal monologue and flashbacks, that's probably due to how people often talk down on him and being bullied when he was younger, additionally his former girlfriend aoi tenjiku broke up with him because of this reason (will be important later on)

Now before i got in any deeper im going to put in a bit of psychology about validation (everything here on is researched, if you already know psychology your free to skip this part)
anyways, when you get validation it activates the brain’s reward system, releasing neurotransmitters such as dopamine that reinforce behaviors associated with positive feelings and motivation, for the normal person the validation isn't that special, its just an everyday thing, however someone like haru who constantly feels inferior and "less than" everyone else validation is hard to get.

Now let's talk about the principle of scarcity, see when the human brain sees something hard to get it automatically puts it at a higher value than it actually is, for example if you were poor and someone gave you 100 dollars you would be very happy while if you were average wage you wouldn't be AS happy. Naturally since validation is harder to get for haru his brain subconsciously puts it as something "scarce" triggering the this principle, which means when he does get validation he gets more dopamine and stuff than your average person, similar to this I do believe that haru likely has abandonment issues this is further proved through his reaction when shion temporarily leaves because he "wasn't feeling well" (he actually broke the mirror with Aois ghost but whatever) he visibly panics/freaks out, not only this but it is told to you that when they first met shion showed interest in haru but haru pulled away because he was scared that shion would be disappointed in him like everyone else and cause him to leave him, meaning that he wanted to leave before shion could leave him which is a strong sign of abandonment issues.

anyways, since shion constantly validates haru both verbally and sometimes physically (actions like offering haru his hand and etc) this gives haru a source of validation which triggers his reward system now like i said earlier since validation is harder for him to get it hits allot harder and feels allot better than it actually does in some cases it can even be intoxicating or addictive and, first of all no im not saying haru is some crackhead addicted to dopamine im saying his brain slowly has subconsciously grown attached to shion for this reason, while I'm not sure if he harbors romantic or platonic feelings towards shion its definitely a form of unhealthy attachment.
Now one might argue; "B-b-but Haru probably d-d-didn't believe h-him when he c-c-complimented h-him, dazai" while I agree that this is the case, especially at first but im talking long term too, in the true ending (ending Z) they stay together forever, which means this cycle kept going on and on and at some point haru must've started to believe him.

2-C: summary of their relationship as a whole and why it is not being romanticized

As I said earlier haru and shions relationship is based off an extremely toxic codependency, the reason for this is to simply put it, they need eachother, not in a lovey dovey "babe!! don't leave me, i need you!!!" way more like in a way where they entirely depend on eachother for validation, while in some cases relationships like this can become healthy i doubt that's the case for haru and shion because simply based off of the way they interact in the game as we see the cycle of self hatred and validation they have going on is probably going to continue while they live in a lie forever.

now lets talk about how the game treats this relationship.
Many fans may argue that saihate station is "romanticizing" this or "glorifying" it I doubt that's the case here.
First of all saihate station is a psychological horror game, a game meant to make you feel uncomfortable or scared not an otome game which means this relationship is probably supposed to make you feel uncomfortable or uneasy even scared.

Now let's get into the definition of romanization, romanticizing something means to make something, unhealthy, harmful, or just bad in general seem better than it is or desirable most of the time this occurs in romanticizing ships that are toxic or unhealthy or making mental health issues seem better than they actually are (for example some people will fake DID just because it's "quirky" or something)
now let's take a look at how the game treats haru and shions relationship, it does not do anything to make it desirable, nor does it mistreat the mental health issues they both have, instead treating them like how it would be treated in real life, if you find their relationship desirable that's entirely on you for misunderstanding the point of the game.

3- so WHAT is the point of the game?

Now that we've taken a look at both haru and shions individual feelings, their relationship, and why it's not romanticizing it, what IS the point of saihate station.
Maybe it's confronting your guilt, or to not get overly attached?

While both of these are strong points, I think the lesson of the game is to not expect people to love you when you don't love yourself.
evidence to back this up is that aoi broke up with haru because haru expected her to love him and loved her when he didn't love himself, not only that but shion clearly expects haru to love him back when he quite obviously hates himself, and yes in the true ending haru does end up with shion essentially "loving" him back it's an incredibly unhealthy relationship and in a way their constantly depending on eachother for validation in a way that if one of them were to die the other would likely consider taking their own life and even maybe do it (especially shion)

further evidence for this is that in when shion killed haru he took his own life after so they could stay together forever which means he likely NEEDS haru, haru probably didn't return the feelings here because he didn't forgive shion here but in the ending where he forgives him this MIGHT be the case, I might even argue that ending A is a better ending because it's probably the most healthy one for Haru.

so think about it haru and shion have a relationship that constantly requires you to stay broken in order to function if haru's mental health were to genuinely get better that would defeat shions purpose and he would probably try to hurt haru so then he could pretend to help him and stay "good" in harus eyes while if shion were to get better he would no longer need that validation he gets out of helping haru and he'd likely behave more normally towards haru and not need him therefore cutting off most of the validation while the romantic feelings might stay they're likely to fade away since they formed because of how attached he was to haru, which is extremely unhealthy and definitely portrayed as bad on purpose.

which proves that you should not expect someone to love you when you don't love yourself it will always lead you into either an unhealthy relationship or something else just as bad if you don't cut them off or they don't cut you off, which is why i think Aoi did they right thing by breaking up with haru, she'd likely be the most healthy out of all the characters in the game if she was still alive.

alr for context ive liked this guy this stupid fuck guy idiot of a classmate for about two years now and to my fucking disbelief i recently found out that i have not gotten over him because i was looking at the yearbooks last ngiht and fucking smiled at his stupid ass and fucking BLUSHED and i dont wanna like this guy hes straight as far as i know and im a guy too so ive got no chances from the start were not even friends or anything we just tlak soemtimes please please please how do i get over ts i hate that motherfucker