Calling my kids
When my children are with their father, every other week, it feels very uncomfortable to call them. When the phone is picked up, no one says hello and it seems that the kids don’t really know what’s going on because I hear them asking questions like “what” “what is it daddy”. I gather that their father just picks up and passes them the phone without saying anything. Sometimes if he’s in the middle of doing something with them, he keeps doing it, almost as if he’s distracting them from talking to me. I usually even send a text before calling to let their father know that I’ll be calling, because I understand that his time (with them), does not revolve around my desire to speak to the children and I understand if he tells me that they’ll call me back if the time that I’m calling is not a good time. That has happened. My phone calls with the kids are very short; usually just like a check-in; “How was your day?…Good night I love you.” They are 7 and 10. I know that around last year when my oldest used to tell his father that he wanted to call me for something and their father did not want them to share certain things with me, he would threaten to punish them. I do feel like at this age, children should be guided on many things, including phone etiquette and respect for their parents. They don’t necessarily disrespect me, but at times they seem annoyed to speak to me, which I understand is part of being a child, but it almost seems like it’s encouraged by their father whereas when he calls, I make sure that all distractions are put aside and that they speak to their father in a respectful way. I’m not doing it for him. I’m just raising my kids. Does anyone have experience with this either as a mother or as a child of divorce? Any tips or advice are greatly appreciated. TIA