u/Low-Frosting-7995

I had actually sent them a message on Tuesday saying that due to issues with the phone I was texting from, my new # would be \*blank\*. The phone I normally use/phone number I normally go by has been turning on and off for some reason. I actually just now saw that they messaged me about 2 hours before the expected shift on Thursday asking if I’d be available to come and watch their kiddo because he was a difficult day at school. I had messaged them from the new phone on Monday. I never responded on Thursday because I stopped checking the old phone. They had hearted my message on Tuesday about the new # so I thought they’d gotten it. Now I feel bad. I had explained on Tuesday that the old phone (the one I was then texting from) was having too much trouble. But now I just feel guilty I don’t want them to see me as unreliable!

On Tuesday I had sent “Hi your-name! I wanted to reach out and communicate that NUMBER is now going to be my permanent number since this phone is having too much trouble!” I can technically open up the old phone but it turns on and back off so often that I just don’t check it. Today was my first time checking it since Tuesday or Wednesday

I had actually sent them a message on Tuesday saying that due to issues with the phone I was texting from, my new # would be *blank*. The phone I normally use/phone number I normally go by has been turning on and off for some reason. I actually just now saw that they messaged me about 2 hours before the expected shift on Thursday asking if I’d be available to come and watch their kiddo because he was a difficult day at school. I had messaged them from the new phone on Monday. I never responded on Thursday because I stopped checking the old phone. They had hearted my message on Tuesday about the new # so I thought they’d gotten it. Now I feel bad. I had explained on Tuesday that the old phone (the one I was then texting from) was having too much trouble. But now I just feel guilty I don’t want them to see me as unreliable!

On Tuesday I had sent “Hi your-name! I wanted to reach out and communicate that NUMBER is now going to be my permanent number since this phone is having too much trouble!” I can technically open up the old phone but it turns on and back off so often that I just don’t check it. Today was my first time checking it since Tuesday or Wednesday

I recognize this now as an adult. I’m a black woman who actually doesn’t really live around many of her background. At 21 I have had 2 boyfriends (3 I suppose if you count one who asked me out and I’d accepted though it fizzled out,) been approached by more men than I can count on my two hands, and am in a stage now wherein I know dating is possible for me. I don’t really look any better than I used to. It’s just that men are attracted to a variety of looks, and as a woman you don’t need to be particularly well kept to get the attention of one or a few. To some I’d be a little below average, I don’t really take care of myself at all due to depression and I’m old enough now that I understand a few men have technically had crushes on me even though I used to feel like it was just impossible. When I was 15 I’d even cried about no one having liked me. I thought then that it’d never happen.

I am 21. In spring 2027, I will be at a new school (a university) and no longer in community college. I don’t know what I’m planning on studying yet. I’m surprised by how often I’m approached as an adult sometimes, particularly now that I’m living on my own, given that I was considered unattractive in middle and high school (though as of late I’ve started to shift away from caring so much about this, it was too long ago.) I have pics on my profile. I had a bf who I was quite attracted to recently he was above average looking, I’ve been approached once by another who was above average but I think that one was into my body more, he was actually from a different county and of a different background than me a Spanish speaking one. I’ve actually been approached at this point by more than 4 Spanish speaking men. I had a boyfriend once when I was 16. My most recent boyfriend had actually punched a guy because when he was looking for his jacket and had left me at a park he thought that someone had harmed me (he did call me his girlfriend, though we were together for less than a week. I learned that he has schizophrenia.) someone who knew him had told me specifically that he would never be able to take care of me and that I could find someone more well rounded. This week, another uber driver of mine (also from a Spanish speaking country) told me when I was in my bonnet that he “liked” me. I knew what he meant.

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How do I find a consistent boyfriend or husband as a woman who isn’t pretty (may be a little below average looking?)

So I actually live in a nearby city but I’m 21 and my experience going to jack London square and lake Merritt/lake chalet was very disheartening. I got a few smiles when I smiled first, one man who I sensed was interested but who I think thought I was acting kind of weird, another who approached me (well, told me when I was walking down the lake that I was looking gorgeous in the sunlight though I sensed when I came closer to talk to him that after getting a better look at my face he wasn’t into it which is okay. I actually came back around to chat with him and ask him how old he was, he wasn’t looking at me that time, I think he decided I am unattractive.) I am a black lady who is not cute I am at a healthy weight but may be a little below average in the face. I was at jack London square and the Merritt/chalet area today with no luck. There was another man in my city who approached but seemed to be less into my face just a vibe based upon body language after he saw me a little closer as well. I was approached at lake Merritt this weekends
By a Hispanic man but it turned out that he has done jail time. I have had 2 boyfriends this year, one who was actually quite cute, but I was disheartened by what happened in Oakland today. I am 5’3-5’4 and my teeth are smaller than average

Or really by boyfriends what I actually mean a guy who was legitimately handsome but turned out to have schizophrenia who had approached me, I liked his looks a lot and he’d been married and had multiple girlfriends. The other one was an uber driver of mine who had asked me out.im located in the east bay.

I have been asked out by 4/5 of my uber or Lyft drivers since I was in high school, had a boyfriend in high school fr a few months at 16. I was approached by a different man earlier this year.

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I met him when I was in ninth grade, back when I was trying out sports (I was on a sports team with him.) It’s been a long time, so I don’t remember him as well as I did back then, which is only natural. I recall that he didn’t just shut me down when I’d make immature jokes and generally remember him as having been a nice person. I remember that he seemed to me like he was particularly good with the girls. He was three years older than me. There are men - especially men as good looking as he was (even after all this time, when thinking about it the other day it hit me that of all the crushes I’ve had over the years, I think he is the one who I uphold in my mind as the physical ideal after all this time) who certainly treat women they aren’t attracted to or who aren’t “pretty” poorly. He was not one of them. I knew guys in high school who were like that, and he was not one. He actually may have been a bit attracted to me - I’ve always remembered the way he looked at me on our last day before quarantine officially hit, how he was staring into my eyes with a big smile for about a minute when I was finally “quiet” or calmed down a bit. I had suspected it then. I’d had him on Snapchat for a bit afterwards (I don’t remember what happened to my Snapchat, I actually don’t think I used it often back then) and recall he had called me “Queen” once. He was conventionally attractive, but I remember it seemed to me that he was sincerely kind to all of the girls. He had good social skills, in my opinion. He was black. Tall, symmetrical face, the type who would have no trouble picking up girls. What’s strange is that I had never really “considered” his appearance until quarantine hit and I’d started thinking about someone I’d had a crush on previously who wasn’t as kind to me as this man was. He didn’t seem like he just aimed to chat up girls. He seemed like he had a sincere relationship with them, interested in getting to know them, wasn’t just looking to date them.
An example of him arguably flirting with me would be his having covered it and said “don’t look down there” in a joking way when I guess he thought I was glancing at his personal area.
I recall that he tended to deny that I was ugly/unattractive, in spite of the fact that peers of mine had said so. I remember when I first met him, I had the impression based upon the way he approached me that he knew I was “young” - I suspect he initially thought it possible I was in middle school. We still flirted a tad bit later on in spite of it.
I recall that he did not come off “dumb.” I remember he once came into my English class, as he was trying to escape having to retake an exam for algebra 1 or pre algebra, been long enough now that I can’t remember which. It seems he walked the stage in 2020, but didn’t obtain GED until 2021.
What I’ve noticed about him is that he has more often than not tended to date women who are overweight since he graduated from high school. His first girlfriend in adulthood was visibly overweight, and wasn’t attractive to me subjectively. She was mixed, and lightskinned. Their relationship did not last any longer than about a year, if I recall correctly, and I have wondered if him having possibly had a wandering eye factored in (I know someone who I believe set them up, and noticed that the person who I think set them up had unfollowed him before they broke up.) I seem to, I think, remember noticing that he started dating another girl (one who I did think was conventionally attractive, she was in good shape) not terribly long afterwards - I think that woman was Hispanic like his current girlfriend, but I don’t remember anymore.
I recall that my old acquaintance on the sports team, who I didn’t really have any kind of a relationship with later on in high school, had suggested concerning him that he was “sweet” but “a bit of an f-boi.” She suggested later on when we were sophomores that she had ghosted him because she felt he was sending her relationship type content after quarantine hit. I’d been telling her a bit about my newfound crush on him, and she had said that she wouldn’t be surprised if I was right about him being attracted to me (nor if he were to ask me out when I turned eighteen, which didn’t happen - in part because we didn’t remain in contact, but also because he’s of course had age appropriate relationships as the years have progressed.) I had perceived that he tended to flirt with the girl, I had always joked about picking up a vibe between them.
I remember that back when we did follow each other on social media, I’d noticed that he followed a few baby accounts (you know, like the type parents or prospective follow with a lot of baby videos and pictures - black babies they were specifically.) It gave me the impression that he was, at eighteen-nineteen, aiming to one day become a father. A thought of which has occurred to me when thinking back to my time with him is that I could actually envision him being a solid preschool teacher - I wonder if he’d like a job wherein he worked with children. I could see it being a good fit for him, but I haven’t seen or engaged with him in years and certainly imagine that with so much time having passed, he has likely changed. His current girlfriend, who is not black (she is overweight as well, older than him by about ten years, has children from a previous relationship) has a college degree and seems more “established” in terms of a career. I’d also heard that his mother passed around three years ago now - he seems able to function, has mentioned missing her and his love for her. He had been with his current girlfriend for two to two and a half years, though it seems that he hadn’t proposed (or that if he has, she hasn’t accepted.) I remember that
I only mention his girlfriends having been overweight or not conventionally attractive from my perspective because it sincerely is interesting to me, given that he is conventionally attractive and fatphobia exists. Some men would certainly try to go for women who were considered above average by our society if they had the kind of looks he has. However, it seems that he has never been ashamed to take out what he likes. It seems he is single now, as I remember he had briefly changed his relationship status to “it’s complicated” with the last girlfriend - I had honestly thought his two serious girlfriends were a little below average looking. He has no girlfriends on his profile now.
I had unfollowed him years ago because he had said he’d be on vacation over summer and I figured out/came to believe for a reason I don’t remember that he hadn’t been honest about this. I’m not “angry” about it or anything of that sort now. I recall that at the time it had hurt my feelings. I understand now that he may have simply not wanted to, or perhaps was more focused on his then-girlfriend. As an adult myself, I also wonder if he had simply thought it would have been inappropriate as someone who is three years older than me to “hang out” with a fifteen year old president and did not want to be accused of anything.
He has moved up in the working world, which doesn’t surprise me given his looks and charisma. He was working part time as manager of a shipping company, and part time as a customer service representative of a different community. He started community college a few years ago and I think he may have been in it for a bit after graduating from high school. He has it written now that he switched into working security five months ago, and was a sales manager for a car company beforehand (he seems to really like cars.) He no longer has college on his profile so I wonder if he simply dropped out.

I recall that with his most recent girlfriend, who has a masters degree in Psychology, she had never put him on his profile like he put hers on his (she had been on his bio and he had changed his status to in a relationship.) Now that they are broken up she has that she is a mom, her nationality, etc. in her profile. But she never once had put him on hers which I remembered thinking was interesting. It had made me wonder if the feelings were initially stronger from his end.

I remember when I’d admitted to a friend of his (like maybe 5 months ago, I haven’t seen him in person in 6 years now) that I used to have a crush on him she suggested she hadn’t seen him in a while herself (they were buddies in high school) but that she remembered he’d been “crazy” (I think she’d meant that he liked thrills and that sort of thing.) The first girlfriend he had after high school and he no longer follow each other on social media. They had unfollowed each other after he and his last public girlfriend broke things off. I had always thought it was odd that his most recent girlfriend was 13 years older than him - I don’t like big age gaps in relationships in general, but if I were a mother in my thirties with 2 kids I wouldn’t want to date someone who had been out of high school for a couple of years, whether they were cute or not. I don’t see what we’d have in common.

I didn’t have the impression after looking into it that his mother was necessarily a great parent (posts about being at “the strip,” swearing in posts, etc.) though he seems to have turned out normally. He had referred to her by her username (“big sexy”) which I had thought was strange in a post wherein he was talking about her passing. I had simply thought that it wasn’t very appropriate. He had written that he wished they could “turn up” like they “used to.”

I also learned after googling it that he was arrested in Jan 2023 for revocation of probation, driving w license suspended for drunk driving and speeding over 65 MPH. This may have been when his mother passed or around that time.

As an adult i have been asked out by 4/5 uber drivers of mine. I have not had dating success though I have not really tried to seriously date, I had a boyfriend for a few months in high school and another recently who was actually very handsome like this one, he’d been married and had more than 3 girlfriends.

So I actually live in a nearby city but I’m 21 and my experience going to jack London square and lake Merritt/lake chalet was very disheartening. I got a few smiles when I smiled first, one man who I sensed was interested but who I think thought I was acting kind of weird, another who approached me (well, told me when I was walking down the lake that I was looking gorgeous in the sunlight though I sensed when I came closer to talk to him that after getting a better look at my face he wasn’t into it which is okay. I actually came back around to chat with him and ask him how old he was, he wasn’t looking at me that time, I think he decided I am unattractive.) I am a black lady who is not cute I am at a healthy weight but may be a little below average in the face. I was at jack London square and the Merritt/chalet area today with no luck. There was another man in my city who approached but seemed to be less into my face just a vibe based upon body language after he saw me a little closer as well. I was approached at lake Merritt this weekends
By a Hispanic man but it turned out that he has done jail time. I have had 2 boyfriends this year, one who was actually quite cute, but I was disheartened by what happened in Oakland today. I am 5’3-5’4 and my teeth are smaller than average

Or really by boyfriends what I actually mean a guy who was legitimately handsome but turned out to have schizophrenia who had approached me, I liked his looks a lot and he’d been married and had multiple girlfriends. The other one was an uber driver of mine who had asked me out.im located in the east bay.

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I met him when I was in ninth grade, back when I was trying out sports (I was on a sports team with him.) It’s been a long time, so I don’t remember him as well as I did back then, which is only natural. I recall that he didn’t just shut me down when I’d make immature jokes and generally remember him as having been a nice person. I remember that he seemed to me like he was particularly good with the girls. He was three years older than me. There are men - especially men as good looking as he was (even after all this time, when thinking about it the other day it hit me that of all the crushes I’ve had over the years, I think he is the one who I uphold in my mind as the physical ideal after all this time) who certainly treat women they aren’t attracted to or who aren’t “pretty” poorly. He was not one of them. I knew guys in high school who were like that, and he was not one. He actually may have been a bit attracted to me - I’ve always remembered the way he looked at me on our last day before quarantine officially hit, how he was staring into my eyes with a big smile for about a minute when I was finally “quiet” or calmed down a bit. I had suspected it then. I’d had him on Snapchat for a bit afterwards (I don’t remember what happened to my Snapchat, I actually don’t think I used it often back then) and recall he had called me “Queen” once. He was conventionally attractive, but I remember it seemed to me that he was sincerely kind to all of the girls. He had good social skills, in my opinion. He was black. Tall, symmetrical face, the type who would have no trouble picking up girls. What’s strange is that I had never really “considered” his appearance until quarantine hit and I’d started thinking about someone I’d had a crush on previously who wasn’t as kind to me as this man was. He didn’t seem like he just aimed to chat up girls. He seemed like he had a sincere relationship with them, interested in getting to know them, wasn’t just looking to date them.
An example of him arguably flirting with me would be his having covered it and said “don’t look down there” in a joking way when I guess he thought I was glancing at his personal area.
I recall that he tended to deny that I was ugly/unattractive, in spite of the fact that peers of mine had said so. I remember when I first met him, I had the impression based upon the way he approached me that he knew I was “young” - I suspect he initially thought it possible I was in middle school. We still flirted a tad bit later on in spite of it.
I recall that he did not come off “dumb.” I remember he once came into my English class, as he was trying to escape having to retake an exam for algebra 1 or pre algebra, been long enough now that I can’t remember which. It seems he walked the stage in 2020, but didn’t obtain GED until 2021.
What I’ve noticed about him is that he has more often than not tended to date women who are overweight since he graduated from high school. His first girlfriend in adulthood was visibly overweight, and wasn’t attractive to me subjectively. She was mixed, and lightskinned. Their relationship did not last any longer than about a year, if I recall correctly, and I have wondered if him having possibly had a wandering eye factored in (I know someone who I believe set them up, and noticed that the person who I think set them up had unfollowed him before they broke up.) I seem to, I think, remember noticing that he started dating another girl (one who I did think was conventionally attractive, she was in good shape) not terribly long afterwards - I think that woman was Hispanic like his current girlfriend, but I don’t remember anymore.
I recall that my old acquaintance on the sports team, who I didn’t really have any kind of a relationship with later on in high school, had suggested concerning him that he was “sweet” but “a bit of an f-boi.” She suggested later on when we were sophomores that she had ghosted him because she felt he was sending her relationship type content after quarantine hit. I’d been telling her a bit about my newfound crush on him, and she had said that she wouldn’t be surprised if I was right about him being attracted to me (nor if he were to ask me out when I turned eighteen, which didn’t happen - in part because we didn’t remain in contact, but also because he’s of course had age appropriate relationships as the years have progressed.) I had perceived that he tended to flirt with the girl, I had always joked about picking up a vibe between them.
I remember that back when we did follow each other on social media, I’d noticed that he followed a few baby accounts (you know, like the type parents or prospective follow with a lot of baby videos and pictures - black babies they were specifically.) It gave me the impression that he was, at eighteen-nineteen, aiming to one day become a father. A thought of which has occurred to me when thinking back to my time with him is that I could actually envision him being a solid preschool teacher - I wonder if he’d like a job wherein he worked with children. I could see it being a good fit for him, but I haven’t seen or engaged with him in years and certainly imagine that with so much time having passed, he has likely changed. His current girlfriend, who is not black (she is overweight as well, older than him by about ten years, has children from a previous relationship) has a college degree and seems more “established” in terms of a career. I’d also heard that his mother passed around three years ago now - he seems able to function, has mentioned missing her and his love for her. He had been with his current girlfriend for two to two and a half years, though it seems that he hadn’t proposed (or that if he has, she hasn’t accepted.) I remember that
I only mention his girlfriends having been overweight or not conventionally attractive from my perspective because it sincerely is interesting to me, given that he is conventionally attractive and fatphobia exists. Some men would certainly try to go for women who were considered above average by our society if they had the kind of looks he has. However, it seems that he has never been ashamed to take out what he likes. It seems he is single now, as I remember he had briefly changed his relationship status to “it’s complicated” with the last girlfriend - I had honestly thought his two serious girlfriends were a little below average looking. He has no girlfriends on his profile now.
I had unfollowed him years ago because he had said he’d be on vacation over summer and I figured out/came to believe for a reason I don’t remember that he hadn’t been honest about this. I’m not “angry” about it or anything of that sort now. I recall that at the time it had hurt my feelings. I understand now that he may have simply not wanted to, or perhaps was more focused on his then-girlfriend. As an adult myself, I also wonder if he had simply thought it would have been inappropriate as someone who is three years older than me to “hang out” with a fifteen year old president and did not want to be accused of anything.
He has moved up in the working world, which doesn’t surprise me given his looks and charisma. He was working part time as manager of a shipping company, and part time as a customer service representative of a different community. He started community college a few years ago and I think he may have been in it for a bit after graduating from high school. He has it written now that he switched into working security five months ago, and was a sales manager for a car company beforehand (he seems to really like cars.) He no longer has college on his profile so I wonder if he simply dropped out.

I recall that with his most recent girlfriend, who has a masters degree in Psychology, she had never put him on his profile like he put hers on his (she had been on his bio and he had changed his status to in a relationship.) Now that they are broken up she has that she is a mom, her nationality, etc. in her profile. But she never once had put him on hers which I remembered thinking was interesting. It had made me wonder if the feelings were initially stronger from his end.

I remember when I’d admitted to a friend of his (like maybe 5 months ago, I haven’t seen him in person in 6 years now) that I used to have a crush on him she suggested she hadn’t seen him in a while herself (they were buddies in high school) but that she remembered he’d been “crazy” (I think she’d meant that he liked thrills and that sort of thing.) The first girlfriend he had after high school and he no longer follow each other on social media. They had unfollowed each other after he and his last public girlfriend broke things off. I had always thought it was odd that his most recent girlfriend was 13 years older than him - I don’t like big age gaps in relationships in general, but if I were a mother in my thirties with 2 kids I wouldn’t want to date someone who had been out of high school for a couple of years, whether they were cute or not. I don’t see what we’d have in common.

I didn’t have the impression after looking into it that his mother was necessarily a great parent (posts about being at “the strip,” swearing in posts, etc.) though he seems to have turned out normally. He had referred to her by her username (“big sexy”) which I had thought was strange in a post wherein he was talking about her passing. I had simply thought that it wasn’t very appropriate. He had written that he wished they could “turn up” like they “used to.”

I also learned after googling it that he was arrested in Jan 2023 for revocation of probation, driving w license suspended for drunk driving and speeding over 65 MPH. This may have been when his mother passed or around that time.

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I met him when I was in ninth grade, back when I was trying out sports (I was on a sports team with him.) It’s been a long time, so I don’t remember him as well as I did back then, which is only natural. I recall that he didn’t just shut me down when I’d make immature jokes and generally remember him as having been a nice person. I remember that he seemed to me like he was particularly good with the girls. He was three years older than me. There are men - especially men as good looking as he was (even after all this time, when thinking about it the other day it hit me that of all the crushes I’ve had over the years, I think he is the one who I uphold in my mind as the physical ideal after all this time) who certainly treat women they aren’t attracted to or who aren’t “pretty” poorly. He was not one of them. I knew guys in high school who were like that, and he was not one. He actually may have been a bit attracted to me - I’ve always remembered the way he looked at me on our last day before quarantine officially hit, how he was staring into my eyes with a big smile for about a minute when I was finally “quiet” or calmed down a bit. I had suspected it then. I’d had him on Snapchat for a bit afterwards (I don’t remember what happened to my Snapchat, I actually don’t think I used it often back then) and recall he had called me “Queen” once. He was conventionally attractive, but I remember it seemed to me that he was sincerely kind to all of the girls. He had good social skills, in my opinion. He was black. Tall, symmetrical face, the type who would have no trouble picking up girls. What’s strange is that I had never really “considered” his appearance until quarantine hit and I’d started thinking about someone I’d had a crush on previously who wasn’t as kind to me as this man was. He didn’t seem like he just aimed to chat up girls. He seemed like he had a sincere relationship with them, interested in getting to know them, wasn’t just looking to date them.
An example of him arguably flirting with me would be his having covered it and said “don’t look down there” in a joking way when I guess he thought I was glancing at his personal area.
I recall that he tended to deny that I was ugly/unattractive, in spite of the fact that peers of mine had said so. I remember when I first met him, I had the impression based upon the way he approached me that he knew I was “young” - I suspect he initially thought it possible I was in middle school. We still flirted a tad bit later on in spite of it.
I recall that he did not come off “dumb.” I remember he once came into my English class, as he was trying to escape having to retake an exam for algebra 1 or pre algebra, been long enough now that I can’t remember which. It seems he walked the stage in 2020, but didn’t obtain GED until 2021.
What I’ve noticed about him is that he has more often than not tended to date women who are overweight since he graduated from high school. His first girlfriend in adulthood was visibly overweight, and wasn’t attractive to me subjectively. She was mixed, and lightskinned. Their relationship did not last any longer than about a year, if I recall correctly, and I have wondered if him having possibly had a wandering eye factored in (I know someone who I believe set them up, and noticed that the person who I think set them up had unfollowed him before they broke up.) I seem to, I think, remember noticing that he started dating another girl (one who I did think was conventionally attractive, she was in good shape) not terribly long afterwards - I think that woman was Hispanic like his current girlfriend, but I don’t remember anymore.
I recall that my old acquaintance on the sports team, who I didn’t really have any kind of a relationship with later on in high school, had suggested concerning him that he was “sweet” but “a bit of an f-boi.” She suggested later on when we were sophomores that she had ghosted him because she felt he was sending her relationship type content after quarantine hit. I’d been telling her a bit about my newfound crush on him, and she had said that she wouldn’t be surprised if I was right about him being attracted to me (nor if he were to ask me out when I turned eighteen, which didn’t happen - in part because we didn’t remain in contact, but also because he’s of course had age appropriate relationships as the years have progressed.) I had perceived that he tended to flirt with the girl, I had always joked about picking up a vibe between them.
I remember that back when we did follow each other on social media, I’d noticed that he followed a few baby accounts (you know, like the type parents or prospective follow with a lot of baby videos and pictures - black babies they were specifically.) It gave me the impression that he was, at eighteen-nineteen, aiming to one day become a father. A thought of which has occurred to me when thinking back to my time with him is that I could actually envision him being a solid preschool teacher - I wonder if he’d like a job wherein he worked with children. I could see it being a good fit for him, but I haven’t seen or engaged with him in years and certainly imagine that with so much time having passed, he has likely changed. His current girlfriend, who is not black (she is overweight as well, older than him by about ten years, has children from a previous relationship) has a college degree and seems more “established” in terms of a career. I’d also heard that his mother passed around three years ago now - he seems able to function, has mentioned missing her and his love for her. He had been with his current girlfriend for two to two and a half years, though it seems that he hadn’t proposed (or that if he has, she hasn’t accepted.) I remember that
I only mention his girlfriends having been overweight or not conventionally attractive from my perspective because it sincerely is interesting to me, given that he is conventionally attractive and fatphobia exists. Some men would certainly try to go for women who were considered above average by our society if they had the kind of looks he has. However, it seems that he has never been ashamed to take out what he likes. It seems he is single now, as I remember he had briefly changed his relationship status to “it’s complicated” with the last girlfriend - I had honestly thought his two serious girlfriends were a little below average looking. He has no girlfriends on his profile now.
I had unfollowed him years ago because he had said he’d be on vacation over summer and I figured out/came to believe for a reason I don’t remember that he hadn’t been honest about this. I’m not “angry” about it or anything of that sort now. I recall that at the time it had hurt my feelings. I understand now that he may have simply not wanted to, or perhaps was more focused on his then-girlfriend. As an adult myself, I also wonder if he had simply thought it would have been inappropriate as someone who is three years older than me to “hang out” with a fifteen year old president and did not want to be accused of anything.
He has moved up in the working world, which doesn’t surprise me given his looks and charisma. He was working part time as manager of a shipping company, and part time as a customer service representative of a different community. He started community college a few years ago and I think he may have been in it for a bit after graduating from high school. He has it written now that he switched into working security five months ago, and was a sales manager for a car company beforehand (he seems to really like cars.) He no longer has college on his profile so I wonder if he simply dropped out.

I didn’t have the impression after looking into it that his mother was necessarily a great parent (posts about being at “the strip,” swearing in posts, etc.) though he seems to have turned out normally.

I also learned after googling it that he was arrested in Jan 2023 for revocation of probation, driving w license suspended for drunk driving and speeding over 65 MPH. This may have been when his mother passed or around that time.

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So I annoyed/upset my roommate last night because around 7 I had sent a text from my old phone asking if it was possible for my pillowcases to be washed next time we do laundry. The phone has been turning on and off all day, I was distracted by homework. When I came out I learned she thought I had intended on doing laundry now and had also politely fixed dinner for me. I think it was more of a communication mishap than anything else bit it seems to have really worried and upset her. She had seemed really angry about it and asked me if I had felt bad. I had sent: “hi! When we go do laundry next is it possible for us to wash the pillowcase” - I have a lot of homework to do now that the college semester has resumed so I didn’t necessarily intend on doing it that night (and when I say a lot of homework, I do mean a lot of homework.)

I felt a little guilty about it, but some part of me also perceived it to be an overreaction to be honest. It wasn’t as though I did it intentionally and I saw it as a lapse in communication more than anything else. My perspective on it was that the phone wasn’t working so I simply didn’t read the message. The day beforehand, I hadn’t responded to a message from that old phone for hours because it had also not been working (it’s been turning on and off.) I had texted from the new phone I have and mentioned that it would be a new phone number. I also don’t understand why she didn’t knock, that was something that hadn’t made sense to me (she didn’t mention having knocked.) I don’t think that she’s a bad person and she has been quite helpful, but this in particular I had chalked up to miscommunication and felt it’d been blown out of proportion. She’d said she had to take a walk due to the headache it had caused her, she had been worried about me she said, I was in the other room.

So I actually live in a nearby city but I’m 21 and my experience going to jack London square and lake Merritt/lake chalet was very disheartening. I got a few smiles when I smiled first, one man who I sensed was interested but who I think thought I was acting kind of weird, another who approached me (well, told me when I was walking down the lake that I was looking gorgeous in the sunlight though I sensed when I came closer to talk to him that after getting a better look at my face he wasn’t into it which is okay. I actually came back around to chat with him and ask him how old he was, he wasn’t looking at me that time, I think he decided I am unattractive.) I am a black lady who is not cute I am at a healthy weight but may be a little below average in the face. I was at jack London square and the Merritt/chalet area today with no luck. There was another man in my city who approached but seemed to be less into my face just a vibe based upon body language after he saw me a little closer as well. I was approached at lake Merritt this weekends
By a Hispanic man but it turned out that he has done jail time. I have had 2 boyfriends this year, one who was actually quite cute, but I was disheartened by what happened in Oakland today. I am 5’3-5’4 and my teeth are smaller than average

Or really by boyfriends what I actually mean a guy who was legitimately handsome but turned out to have schizophrenia who had approached me, I liked his looks a lot and he’d been married and had multiple girlfriends. The other one was an uber driver of mine who had asked me out.im located in the east bay.