u/LudosTBH

I have alexithymia(diagnosed), for those who dont know, basically i have hard times understanding and processing my emotions but i dont have any problems with emphaty or social interactions.

Im a young adult, (18-25) and never had a girlfriend or someone i flirted with before. I felt lonely at times but never really gave a damn about it, even when everyone from my friend group had a partner. They tried to set me up with people but i didnt feel anything for them so it didnt go past saying hi when running into eachother here and there. In the last 3 months ive been seeing this girl in the bus, when walking and in the halls. My legs shake and my heartbeat speeds up, my palms sweat too. We never talked but im sure she knows my interest, we dont have any mutual friends or anything. I know me and most guys are not the most aware when it comes to picking up hints but I think she wants me to approach her. She smiles at me a lot, turns around to look at me when she hears my voice and stuff. For the first time i feel this excited, I dont even know her name and i know i just have a version of her in my mind that i like, i still like this feeling a lot. I didnt tell anyone about her because it felt pointless, i really needed to exhale these out somewhere. (English is not my first language sorry if i suck)