u/Mammoth_Relative_558

i know this post is very annoying but i really needed to ask this one question. So, when i was young i use to play a lot gacha life, and sometimes i would make my OC have sex with another character.

Why that character? because it was the only male character i had made, and i was very heteronormative at the time

did you see yourself as your OC? not really, she was made to look like me, but she had like wings and stuff, and i was completely detached from making it

does this character resemble anyone in real life? no, he was made to resemble me

did you experience desire to participate in the scenario? no

do you experience sexual attraction to anyone else, real or fictional ? no

why did you do these then? reenactment of other gacha life content i saw

were you picky with anything? not really, only the “scenarios”, that would be basically just making the male character do the same two poses lol

so, i was really wondering that, and i would be glad if anyone kindly answered me💖 bad english btw

does anyone else have a old comment, or like, any register on the internet of yourself that got you spiraling? i recently started to look for my tiktok comments, to see if i had anything to worry about, but in 2021 i commented: *brings my fuck male* (very bad english because it wasn't my first language and i was pretty bad at it at the time) which left me wanting to throw up. I have no recollection of writing it, and the original post was deleted so i don’t know the context. It has been destroying me since i saw it. Anyone else has gotten through something similar? how did you deal with it?

that’s right, i woke up at 8am and now its 8pm in my country and i have doing it since i woke up, having small breaks of at max 30 min. I woke up to do compulsions. It’s so awful it rarely brings relief, and the worst thing for me is that my theme is entire subjective and based on my experiences, which makes my compulsions switch between checking, searching, reassurance seeking, use of AI, use of subreddits that aren’t dedicated to OCD. I think it has became so hard to deny it, there’s so much proof, it’s been fucking 3 years. I think i can’t do this alone, but i can’t face the shame

saw this term recently and i was kind of confused, don’t all aegosexuals do this? isn’t it the whole point of the label? or maybe i’m understanding it wrong and is some sort of romantic/sexual attraction, idk there seems to have a lot of definitions

ever since i was 10, i’ve been veryyy attracted to girls, wanting to kiss, date and everythin. But before that, i had a thought of kissing a male classmate, and it did sparkle some joy at the moment and then i forgot about it. Can i even say that i am exclusively attracted to women? or am i bisexual?

are they real symptoms from OCD? how to overcome it?

in my music class, there is a boy who at first i didn’t care about him, found him ugly and cringe. But then one day i had a thought that he would be the perfect boyfriend and now everytime i see him i feel like he would be a good boyfriend to me and like i want to seek that rush of dopamine that i feel, even though i before only felt it for girls :( someone please help me

how could i ever live not knowing if i am truly those things that OCD tells me i am? how can i live with myself if i don’t know if i am a good person?